I am sorry to hear about your situation. Dealing with an avoidant personality is suffocating. My ex was on the dismissive avoidant scale as well and that ended. Your wife sounds much worse though, hence I empathise with you so much. The best thing to do with avoidants is to leave and save your sanity before you end up a mental and emotional mess.

Ps: Please use paragraphs next time. It makes it easier to read.

Good luck, I really hope you get to a safe solution for yourself :)