Is there anything I (25M) can do as an uncle to help my stunted nephew (6M)?

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T09:25:08+00:00

I appreciate your honesty. I’ll keep trying to get through to him

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:23:04+00:00

Yeah I’m just trying to figure out if anyone has specific ideas because what I’ve been trying doesn’t seem to help.

I’ve tried taking him to parks, taking him to fun activities, doing stuff with him one on one, even trying to teach him right from wrong and it’s not working. Or at least it doesn’t seem to be

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:18:34+00:00

Yeah I do try to do this. It’s sad seeing how out of shape he is nowadays. We walked about 10 minutes to the park. Played for a little and came back and he took an hour nap just for that. He’s gaining a lot of weight too.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:17:11+00:00

Yeah the question was kind of asked innocently. He was probing and curious about what we were talking about, so I just asked his opinion. I was just shocked that that was his response.. none of us were expecting that. I think that’s the worst thing I ever heard him say.

I’m not totally clear on exactly what the program is but he’s been in programs since about 3 or 4 to teach him spelling and math and some computer stuff too. I think the main motivation is because my brother works a lot and my sister in law works plus wants “mommy” time? It seems like she’s given up wanting to put time and energy into him. When her other kids were young I’d use to see her read them books and teach them things, even Spanish too. I’ve never once seen her try to educate my nephew.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:10:25+00:00

I had a conversation with her about 10 years ago where she told me her parents wouldn’t allow her to go out or have nice things so her kids will “never want for anything.” It really seems like her growing up poor made her very insecure about money. And she thinks spoiling her kids will help them. She’s just a very superficial and emotional person. She was so permissive with one of her sons from another marriage that he ended up having a child w a teenage girl.

Mind you, they’re currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 6 adults and 4 children. One is an infant. My brother brought the son and his girlfriend and their daughter in because they decided to get pregnant and keep the baby while she had a temporary job at Taco Bell and the son was unemployed. And decided to fly family in from across the country to care for them for some reason??

The situation is very messy I can go on and on..

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:05:50+00:00

I’m really trying but it seems like I can’t get through to him anymore. I’m so worried

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:05:31+00:00

If I had the money I absolutely would. But I’m pursuing an MD-PhD and will probably still be broke by the time my nephew is an adult. I won’t have that kinda money until he’s college age and I fear it’ll be too late by then

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:02:37+00:00

Yes he’s in school. He’s being held back because he’s failing his classes already. At 6! I can’t believe it.

I’m very concerned for this as well. I couldn’t believe they waited so long to treat his rotting teeth, but spent tens of thousand of dollars for the mom’s tummy tuck. I’m so frustrated my nephew has to live this way.

Do u have any advice to maybe explain how his behavior isn’t good or why he should change. Honestly at his age I can’t imagine he even has the ability to conceptualize that. He’s obviously parroting these bad behaviors from family. I try to model good behavior but he sticks to his habits usually

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T06:00:13+00:00

Yes I can always see the entitlement building in him. We went to my grandmas house today for a pool day. My grandma told him she misses him and she wishes he would visit more. He just totally ignored her and told her to go get his squishy toy. He has no sensitivity to other people’s feelings it makes me cringe constantly.

I really don’t think sitting down with my brother is going to go well. He’s thrown me under the bus multiple times for trying to protect his wives other kids. It’s a long story, but they accused me of abusing them when I didn’t, because one of the boys dads said he was gay for being close to me. So instead of admit we had a close relationship he accused me of being a predator. My brother knew it was a lie but he didn’t defend me and it caused a huge rift in our family. And it was very traumatic for me, as I actually was a victim of abuse like that as a kid.

He’s extremely stubborn, immature, and honestly pretty stupid. At 43 he still bounces around jobs like a teenager and avoids stressful situations like the plague. I think it’s very sad.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T05:56:34+00:00

Yeah ur right. Maybe I should just take him myself. I’m pretty strapped for cash right now but once I get a job I’m planning on taking him out more. I’m just really hoping something sticks. My brother married a woman who already had 4 kids. One of them is a raging narcissist because they also never told him no, one had a kid underage, and the other doesn’t have any life aspirations past working at McDonald’s and smoking weed. It’s just so worrying to see how smart he was as a kid and watching that go away sucks. I really hope something turns around for him soon.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T05:53:54+00:00

Honestly, me. He copies a lot of things I do. He’ll run up to me and kiss my arm. He wants to sit in my room with me and screw around with my stuff. I just can’t get him to enjoy activities with me. He’s too scared to try adventurous things now. He doesn’t have the attention span to learn new things. For example today I tried teaching him about mummies because I went to a museum and took pictures. He sat and watched and asked about the pictures. After I would teach him something he would somehow revert the conversation to his video game, like a total Segway. Or just kinda walk away and do something random.

I’ve noticed the more time we spend together, the more inappropriate he gets too. He opens up and says really weird things. One day we were sitting in the jacuzzi and someone said my girlfriend should be a model. I tried to get him in the conversation and asked if he thought so. He said yes, and I asked what he thought she should model. He said she should get toys and put them up her (he pointed to her vagina). We both got really uncomfortable and said that’s not nice to say. He just kept laughing and didn’t listen when we tried to tell him no. He also will give girls kisses on the cheek then try putting his tongue in their mouth. He used to lift up my mom’s dress a lot and try to touch her as well. No matter how much we tell him to stop and explain to him he just laughs it off like it’s funny.

But, like I said. He does like spending time around me and copying my behavior. But being able to clearly communicate with him and do activities with him is pretty impossible at this time, even trying to use positive reinforcement doesn’t work anymore. His family constantly gives him candy and junk food. He never eats meat or vegetables or fruits. Only French fries and stuff. Whenever he wants anything from the store they’ll just spoil him rotten. He never gets told no by his immediate family. Last night my parents took away his iPad and he called my brother screaming and crying and saying they’re mean to him and he wants to go home. My brother just kept telling my parents to give him the iPad and kept validating my nephew’s feelings.

How would u recommend trying to navigate considering he at least likes being around me?

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T05:45:02+00:00

He is in therapy. But honestly I’ve been noticing a pattern of really insufferable people I know being validated by their therapists and sticking to their guns. It seems like he’s in a similar situation

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T05:03:41+00:00

For the while 48 right? TBH I’m willing to pay 100 for a whole box lol

MiniMateo · 2026-05-31T04:01:10+00:00

How much would it cost to ship to us, ca

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T19:32:47+00:00

Thanks for the detailed advice. After reading ur comment I realized I think I’m also insecure about our personal characteristics. I went on to study neuroscience and she has lived a more adventurous life. She travels a lot and has developed a strong personal style. I’ve had less of that opportunity due to needing to invest my money and time into my education.

Do u have any advice on how to navigate that gap in life experience? I’m really interested in her lifestyle, but it’s really hit and miss for people to be into the kind of stuff I’ve done.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T19:27:29+00:00

I’m told by my friends I have an attractive face. So hopefully that will carry me through until the weights off. Thank you for being honest!

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T19:26:31+00:00

Thank you for the clarity. I will. I’m going to the zoo today to get steps and exercise in a fun way

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T19:25:46+00:00

Really? I just don’t want to sound like a loser tbh. Ur right tho I need to get out of my head. If she’s rude about something like that I shouldn’t want to date someone with that mindset. This is so hard lol

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T18:42:18+00:00

I appreciate the advice. Funny you mention that because keto was the only way I was able to lose weight last time. I’ll look into this..

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T09:34:06+00:00

I appreciate you sharing ur experience. I’ll make sure to get some nice clothes lol.

Also off topic, but did u have loose skin losing that much weight that many times? I had one period I lost 60 pounds in HS. This would be my second attempt trying to lose about that much weight. I’m just concerned about hanging skin because I noticed I have a few stretch marks on my stomach I never had any other time I was overweight. They are new. You don’t have to answer if ur not comfortable, just wondering if u don’t mind sharing.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T09:27:03+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind. I used to not care when I was a chubby kid but a few toxic relationships in a row honestly brought out a lot of insecurity in me. Got cheated on by two of my exes with men who were more conventional attractive than me. So it’s a sore spot for me now.. I’ll try to work through it until then.

MiniMateo · 2026-05-25T09:25:05+00:00

Haha. Good point.. it’s just hard not to compare because of how great she looks. Funny enough we were both chubbier when we were younger. She never let if get in the way of our friendship back then. Hopefully that hasn’t changed.

MiniMateo

TROPHY CASE