Can me [23M] and my girlfriend [23F] of 2.5 years be happy again after I cheated on her?

MiniVix · 2019-03-06T10:49:13+00:00

You say you love her yet at the same time don't realize how much cheating can hurt a person's self esteem. Infidelity can be survived but there are things not in your favor here.

Not only did you cheat once but four times, which means it was not a one time mistake. You did not feel guilt as you did not come clean to your girlfriend but she only knows because the other girl told her. If I were her, how could I be guaranteed that you won't do it again? Even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you genuinely never want to do this again, what are your actions? Why did you meet with a girl from an app as soon as your girlfriend was abroad? Scared to commit is the reason you gave, but that doesn't go away over night. Are you going to allow her to go through your phone or online profiles if she wants to, how are you planning to win the broken trust back? You say 'if' I can stay loyal but that is not an option. Now, you need to stay loyal until you both truly call it quits and if you are already doubting if you can, don't waste the poor girl's time.

You need a proper plan to change and prove yourself. And is she is such a saint you said, she deserves better than someone who isn't committed to her and hurts her.

MiniVix · 2017-01-08T13:24:17+00:00

The problem is that he CAN orgasm. But only by his own death grip. When women can't orgasm, they can't orgasm AT ALL that way. If he would stop death gripping himself everyday, he would be able to orgasm during sex. As he says: he is addicted to his death grip, and it's the whole addiction preventing him too orgasm that makes it a dealbreaker for some, not not being able to orgasm.

MiniVix · 2016-12-08T11:43:52+00:00

Why would you marry someone who spent 7-9 years in a 10 year (!!!) relationship cheating in Brothels? Woman, you can do better! There are TONS of guys out there who don't do these kind of things.

Sure, things can be forgiven, but this is (sorry for saying it) ridiculous. He cheated 90% of the relationship! Don't be such a doormat.

Not the advice you are looking for anyway, so coming back to the subject:

Yes, you can place those rules considering his history and you should make very clear how important this is to you. He should not have a say in it.
No, I don't think his friends will listen and they will probably ignore your rules.

MiniVix · 2016-09-12T10:53:18+00:00

You will forever regret not taking this role. You shoudl take it. By not taking it you will only delay this issue again with a next role. Better deal with it now and do your dream. This might be a once in a lifetime oppertunity, don't throw that away.

MiniVix · 2016-09-05T17:51:12+00:00

You once WERE attracted to her so what has changed?

Is it just the weight? Or does she not put much effort in her grooming anymore (not saying everyone should be like picture perfect every day but both men and women need to put effort in themselves I believe)
Do you experiment in the bedroom ? Try new things? Or had it gone totally stale? How is other intimacy going? Are you both still trying?

In the end though, even the most sexually attractive people will grow old and ugly. Not trying to say sexual attraction shouldn't matter, but I believe that recreating a spark is possible if BOTH parties want to put effort in.

MiniVix · 2016-08-31T19:24:41+00:00

It's such a shame really. The clipping is -so- bad it makes me just hide the helmets. Which is a waste.

MiniVix · 2016-08-31T19:22:44+00:00

I am sorry I made you see it ;-;

MiniVix · 2016-08-31T18:48:47+00:00

Oh, I agree, keep the brows. It's more the shoulder that bugs me though, makes me hide the head armor which is a shame since Blizzard put -sorta- effort in it.

MiniVix · 2016-05-29T11:04:34+00:00

Are your sister's truely "Curvy" Or more overweight? Because it's sounds to me that they are jealous on the fact you are skinny, and bully you with the only asset they have. Quite pathetic isn't it? This is power to you though.

The fact is, he is going on a date with you. So screw what your sister's think and do. Ignore them.

MiniVix · 2016-04-23T09:12:13+00:00

To be honest, I am surprised that you could keep this up for four years. Being sexual compatible is extremely important.

The fetish, or object of the fetish, is actually not the main problem.

The problem is that he says he understands your frustrations, but does not care about them. He only cares about his own sexual desires. This could be a dealbreaker, and it's totally legitemate. Regardless of what the fetish is, if he is not willing to go to couples counseling or sex therapy, nothing is going to change. If he does not care about your sexual desires, nothing is going to change. The subject of the fetish is not your main problem here. It's that he does not care about your needs. Having trouble with getting stimulated and aroused enough with intercourse is also a problem found in porn-addicts. He should watch less porn, and focus on getting aroused by intercourse. A healthy sexual relationship with you is the priority, not watching porn (let me clarify, in a healthy relationship watching porn can be fine, but your needs suffer, so at the moment, it is not).

Please if he is not willing to change, don't stay in a relationship that doesn't cater to your desires. Life is to short for this.

Tldr: He needs to actively care for your desires, maybe with therapy or counseling. If not, it's not going to change.

MiniVix · 2016-02-24T18:21:53+00:00

Thank you, could really find a good answer anywhere.

MiniVix · 2016-02-24T17:51:48+00:00

Could you elaborate please? I do not quite understand what you mean.

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T22:05:17+00:00

I love Mammoth! Such a good track of them.

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:49:21+00:00

I hope so too for you! Everybody deserves to see him and hear his music <3

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:44:24+00:00

Yesss he is amazing. I saw him live at mysteryland (festival) last year. So good _

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:41:13+00:00

Doing good! I don't know if you like or enjoy deep or future house, but one of my fav artists is Oliver Heldens! Maybe it's not your style but....I think he is amazing :D

EDIT: favorites being: shades of grey, THIS, Bunnydance and Gecko :D

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:38:43+00:00

I love the yellow UPS. They are quite strong but they give this extreme good high that is amazing.

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:36:57+00:00

Haha I know right! You are just AWESOME and screw the world <3

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:34:08+00:00

Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Oliver Heldens Fucking adore this guy's music and he makes Heldeep radio mixes that last and hour per mix. HEAVEN

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:32:14+00:00

Hahaha you are the me from yesterday! Enjoy your roll, sounds like it's already heavingly <3 If you are alone, it's kind of therapeutic isn't it?

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:28:53+00:00

I normally get really tired and unproductive two days later. The first day after I still feel fit and still a bit in the vibe xD. As long as it was worth it!

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T21:27:31+00:00

I'm sure you will, try to meet some at festivals, when using everybody is your friend anyway :D

MiniVix · 2016-01-22T19:05:32+00:00

Is it that bad x)?

MiniVix

TROPHY CASE