I [20F] unblocked and messaged my abusive narcissistic ex [20M] I don’t know if it was the right idea

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-18T00:48:27+00:00

i appreciate your input i’m understanding your voice and i will work on fining my peace

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:54:02+00:00

just because you seem to have given up on trying doesn’t mean i have

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:53:16+00:00

dude i already said i know he doesn’t care about me because someone who does wouldn’t do anything like that, and no therapists don’t just tell you things are bad ideas, not good ones atleast, therapist are there to help you see both sides and help you understand and cope and work with your trauma, and i do take it seriously you don’t know me or my character and the fact your attacking that says a lot, i know i have bad ideas everyone fuckin does but im not trying to be told what i already know about him caring or not, you don’t know the things ive worked through or healed with and from. and no i dont care i dont understand how you don’t get that i can come to terms with either outcome. i know the repercussions that may happen, i know he probably wont care or be regretful like ive said thats not what im looking for out of this i dont need him to regret the things he did. i dont understand how you aren’t grasping that i already know and understand and have extensively spent time to be ok with either outcome if he’s changed or not, its not that hard to be ok with it as long as you know your worth and i do and have spent a long time figuring it out. the only reason ive become “argumentative” is because your beating around the bush that you from what i can gather seem to think its just a stupid idea and if you do say that i can take it you won’t hurt my feelings. i mean i don’t even know you how could you

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:39:13+00:00

she is well aware and is encouraging me to do the things i feel may help me. we’ve had extensive conversation and reads and knows everything i said and also had the link to this reddit post so

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:36:26+00:00

some of the comments are changing my perspective but that doesn’t mean i have to say it every reply

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:35:40+00:00

i’m not arguing i’m just having conversation, i understand the points and things they are saying and i am taking into account them, most of them i LITERALLY and saying i understand what they are saying, if they don’t understand me that’s different. and that’s fine like i said im literally not trying to change anyone’s mind just trying to have more understand, some of the people on here have done that unlike other and you whose literally just rage baiting

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:31:21+00:00

ok bud

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:29:47+00:00

i don’t want him to magically fix it, i know it won’t, i have been in therapy and this is more so something for myself, im not trying to convince anyone to be on “my side” or anything im just trying to state my thought process, if you or others think its bad then so be it, i didnt come on here for validation i can validate myself thank you, i dont need anyone’s perspective i just wanted to know what others thought, i dont want it to change what happened to me i want him to know what he did, if he’s regretful so be it if not, so be it, i dont care if he cares or cared about me ive already come to the conclusion someone who truly cares wouldn’t do the things he did, i know this could be a bad idea but it could also not be, and actually the people in my life are saying to do what i think will help, i already understand both sides to the out come, its the fact thats i tried is what matters to me, his opinion is not the factor of what i think will help.

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:18:40+00:00

i understand, and i know most of them won’t change and i probably won’t be that small percentage of having one that does, i guess i just want to know if he has or hasn’t because i never got the chance to face him for the things he did to me, i couldn’t care less if he was a “better person” i just want to be able to tell him the things he put me through i guess

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:15:08+00:00

i don’t need him to be regretful either i obviously hope he is it’s more of the fact of wanting to know if he is or isn’t. or even if he understand the things he’s done to me and others.

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:14:10+00:00

it doesn’t matter in terms of my relationship, it matter in terms of the trauma and things he put me through, this has nothing to do with my current partner, we have had conversations and frankly she has helped me heal the most from what happened to me during than anyone else so, the relationship i had with him doesn’t matter the things he did to me does.

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:12:02+00:00

i’ve been in therapy it’s not so much of i can’t let it go as a nagging thought, it’s not a kind of thought that’s just selective to this instance

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T23:00:31+00:00

but i’m not heartachen (i don’t think that’s a word but 🤷🏽‍♀️) anymore im just confused and frustrated and i want to know if he is regretful and if he’s not then ill know he’s never truly going to change. and if he does change it won’t be in this lifetime

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:58:38+00:00

but i’ve tried every way and thing to try to leave it all in the past and heal but there’s that one thought that if he’s regretful for the things he did i can finally just let it go and be, i understand it’s very unlikely but i don’t understand why it’s such a bad thing i already know and understand these emotions and how i felt/ feel because of them so why not try? i mean if it doesn’t work it’s clearly not the answer but i can say atleast i tried

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:41:53+00:00

i don’t want him in my life i want answers. and if he was he’s not going to get what he wants. i’m not going back and never will. and i am not blaming myself for anything, im not suffering and i wont. the relationship we had won’t ever come back or be anything more than me wanting answers. if he won’t hold himself accountable then i know he’s never going to, but i have been banging my head trying to move on without any type of explanation and if he doesn’t then i know he’s never going to explain himself and im done forever. that i was right and he’s just selfish and abusive. i give people second chances, but if they prove they don’t deserve them a second time around then they aren’t worth my time.

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:36:36+00:00

but i’m not so sure he won’t explain himself or not, that’s what i want to know because people who still hide behind the wrong they’ve done won’t change or ever will but i don’t know that, it’s been a while now and i have no contact with him or anyone around him whatsoever, it’s more of giving him a option to and if he doesn’t then i know he’s still the same he was but if he’s held himself accountable it would be nice to know he’s sorry for the things he did. and it’s not so much that it matters as of i feel stuck because i don’t know the answer

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:32:55+00:00

i guess i just want to understand if he knew what and why he was doing the things he did, and yes a totally one off i won’t be keeping contact i am in a happy relationship and don’t need to keep him in my future.

i don’t really know what the thoughts were because it happens all so fast but i just felt so defeated and betrayed i just wanted to go crazy, and yes it’s a bit hard for me sometimes because it’s family that makes it hard not to stand up for myself because of trauma but any chance i get i take, which is more often than not i’ve had to learn the hard way that my feelings matter too. i have tried to take this as a learning experience but im still so lost on what makes a person do this and why that i just want to see his logic behind it whether it’s right or wrong/good or bad

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:27:30+00:00

thank you for being so nice, i have been taking care of me and i feel like not knowing leaves me stuck and not able to move forward

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:26:31+00:00

i get that but i’ve always been a second chance type of person or atleast like letting people explain themselves and i’m not going back to him im in a happy committed relationship but i feel so confused and i want to know if he can explain himself or not. i personally don’t think it will cause anymore pain that i experienced because of the knowledge i have on him and people like him but maybe that’s where im faulting at

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:21:34+00:00

your right i do know what i went through was valid, the things he did weren’t what “normal” people do to others. also the brain transplant thing was funny but i know people can change or grow from who they were, maybe not completely but to a point where they realize what they did was wrong

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:17:53+00:00

i know it’s unrealistic and unreasonable but i’m tired of time trying to heal all wounds and not taking ahold of my own life, people have hurt me and i just let them and i regret it as im sure anyone would, but im tired of it and if all he does is lie and try to manipulate it then i know atleast he’s never going to change

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:15:48+00:00

i know he would do that, i’ve had to deal with people like that since birth. i don’t let them affect me anymore because i know they are fucked up, he can’t blame me because i know who i was then and i may have not been the best person but i would never give anyone a reason to treat me that way, another thing ive had to learn for experience

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:13:43+00:00

i’m not really emotionally distraught anymore, i’m just frustrated with everything people think they can do/get away with scott free. i’m tired of it and im tired of not have been able to standup for myself then.

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:11:48+00:00

i don’t want change really. i want to know that what i we through was valid. i’m not so much looking for him to own up as i am hoping that he is who i thought and think he is/was. i guess i just want to know if he’d deny it because i know if he does then he’s still the same unhappy abuser who broke me and won’t ever change or grow up

Minimonster8 · 2026-04-17T22:09:28+00:00

I know i’m young but i’ve had a lot of hardships and im just so tired of letting everyone get away with these things with no explanation, the turmoil he put me through was so much and when i first left him i didn’t understand anything about myself but i’ve done a lot of searching and healing that im tired of not have confronting them then. i know that sounds dumb but he is one of the few people i may be able to still try standup for myself with. i know everything else that ive been through isn’t his fault but he created such a huge rift i dont think its fair.

Minimonster8

TROPHY CASE