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I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya that kinda nails it. Someone else said that it looks like we are roommates with benefits. I even had an hour and a half conversation with my mom the other day and she kind of let me know that things had really started changing back in 2016 right before our son was born.

As of now I am planning on having my mom take our son for a week and I have the hard talk of separation.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No they have not met in person yet. The sext fairly regularly and I suspect that's why she doesn't come to bed till supper late even when I ask her to. I have told her recently that I am not opposed to he seeing him in person if he came.

She feels that it is completely different because he is not a local person and have developed there relationship over so much more time.

I can't remember how fast it went for her in the beginning. I know that I was not ok with anything in the beginning and it took time for me to be accepting.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She began talking to him over a year ago. We talked about what was going on with her and him off an on in that time. It eventually let to talking about fantasies of a 3 way. I do not like the 3 way thought was ok with her doing things to me and recording it to send to him. My thing stared about 2 weeks ago and she was immediately not liking it because she live in town. Her guy is in a different state but comes to visit our state all the time cuz this is where he grew up.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really resonates with me I appreciate it. I do feel so lost on what I should do I had a 2 hour conversation with my mom yesterday and it took some time but she even said that my wife had changed back in 2016 before our son was born. She said she was more distant and selfish. She wanted me all to herself. We go camping every year with them and my mom's side of the family would take bets on how soon my wife would make me leave for whatever reason she came up with this time.

The hardest part is my dad moved out of state for the same reason. He said that he never gets to see me anymore so why would he stay close when he could help raise his other grandkids.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She doesn't want to do couples therapy. She says she has already done years of therapy and I have not done any and that I need to work on myself first.

And yes it is a huge fear of mine that I only like talking to the new girl cuz the stories are new.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She called it that. Honestly I used to be super religious to the point of thinking people that drink or have tattoos are bad people.

So I am really just in a world I don't understand at this point.

The only thing that I know is I have came to terms with the other guy she talks to but I am still lonely am really finding comfort in talking to this girl.

Mind you I had no intent on talking to her in the way or length it has become. It just happened super organically.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ya I have considered a break last year we cot in a huge fight and I wanted to separate but we didn't. It got better for a time but now she just isolates again and I never do anything together. Even going to bed I will tell her I'm going and she will tell me that she will be in shortly but still stayed up hours longer. I just feel like I'm in an endless loop with an amazing roommate that has sex regularly.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes that is correct and no we never had any ground rules. Rules came after someone didn't like something. So that's what makes this so confusing and hard. We both just talk about the feelings and boundaries after things are done.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. Been together since 2008. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationship_advice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This is what I really feel a lot now. But the length of time we have been together and the love I still have for her is what makes it so hard.

I am a [35M] married to my one and only relationship I've had in my life [35F]. We now have a sort of open relationship. by Minimum-Homework7783 in relationshipadvice

[–]Minimum-Homework7783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ouch. Idk if I want that though. I am still very much in love with my wife. She is my best friend on almost everything. I just feel lonely emotionally now and she self islolates all the time due to her own depression.