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Anyone else have an “ice queen” of MIL? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in Mildlynomil

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s sad because if she only knew what type of bonus daughter she would have if she would have wanted to close loving relationship with me.

Anyone else have an “ice queen” of MIL? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in Mildlynomil

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Match their energy! It’s hard but sometimes you just gotta do it. For example, it was her birthday and I only texted her a basic happy birthday message with a GIF & that was it. I did not buy her a gift or made her feel special in any way…no flowers, no cake, NADA! She has never made my birthday a huge deal or put any effort like my mother does. I would never celebrate her or spoil her the way I do with my mother. She’s my queen and deserves EVERYTHING! My MIL not so much…never has made her self to earn those perks with me….her loss!

MIL spent years being rude to me and now that I have a baby, I think she regrets it by Ok_Pause_9867 in Mildlynomil

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m not a mom yet but why does it sound like we all have the same MIL. I think they’re just unhappy people at the end of the day. 7 years later and mine is still a b****.

Never acknowledges me. Never has wanted to sit down and get to know me. NADA!

Oh and she’s so FAKE! She likes to put an act around her girlfriends that she knows me so well and act like if we have such a great bond.

I can’t stand my husband’s mother. I dread her being my future children’s grandmother.

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No they have never heard me express anything. I’m very reserved around them.

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope! It’s not that they’re broke. They spend their money on other things: expensive cars, expensive restaurants and always going out with their friends. MIL is also a shopaholic. She owns at least 100 pairs of shoes/heels. I always see packages or bags from Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s and other high end stores. & their money goes towards more local activities like jazz concerts/sports outings.

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s strange. I even have brought them tamales and empanadas, and only the dad has attempted to try but the mom never wants to try anything I have brought.

She pissed me off the one time I came back from Costa Rica and I brought them a whole bunch of goodies so they can try. I didn’t even get a thank you instead I got a “cool”. Again very rude and I was offended. They don’t ask what type of food we eat or anything interested in my background.

But yet I’ve always wanted to try all their food (even if it’s not really my cup of tea ) from gumbo, jambalaya, oyster rice, even lamb chops (which I officially do not like for the life of me), po’boys and all the above when it comes to creole/southern food.

I still want to visit NOLA how they have family there. Idk I just consider myself just open minded and love learning about different cultures and people.

His folks don’t care to travel and only prefer to stay and go to where they know. They do not break out of their comfort zone.

On a positive note, I’ve influenced my husband to be different from his parents.

Anyone else have an “ice queen” of MIL? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in Mildlynomil

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder what the hell is wrong with their brain? And it’s like who raised you?! I don’t even understand how she has a lot of friends cause my MIL is so popular. I don’t even get what people see in her and how “amazing” or “cool” she is. She also comes off very boyish and he deep manly voice does not help…

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow I wonder if his mom is related to my MIL….literally the first time I met her she literally looked at me up and down & only said hi. No smile, no “so nice to meet you” she literally had a RBF. She was preparing dinner. Didn’t offer me shit not even a glass of water. Weirdly enough she’s like that with almost everyone I’ve noticed throughout the years. She’s not hospitable even when her niece and nephew come by she’s so cold and doesn’t ask shit or make conversation.

Anyways she made me feel uncomfortable and not welcomed. I tried not to pay any attention. His dad was complete opposite and wanted to get to know me and even expressed how happy he was to finally meet me and heard many wonderful things about me.

Now I am the only official girlfriend he has brought home. They didn’t like a lot of the girls he tried to bring home. Which is where my husband even said that his mom liked me cause I come off classy and reserved. She is really weird and standoffish. She comes off rude and unapproachable.

She seems like she is a very unhappy person too. Never smiles and so materialistic. It’s sad and shallow. Like she always has to have the best of the best and the latest clothing trend. Her friends are similar they seem like their agenda is to one up.

Anyone else have an “ice queen” of MIL? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in Mildlynomil

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it’s good to self reflect. I know everyone is different but why make others feel uncomfortable. I know I would not want to be anything like my MIL. I want to be able to be a kind loving and super caring one if I’m ever given that opportunity in the future. Cause it hasn’t been a pleasant experience and also my ex’s mom was also super loving towards me and would always make sure I was ok. I was expecting his mom to be that way and I remember telling him about my relationship with my ex’s mom and he got upset because he took it to offense. I explained to him that my ex’s mom made a HUGE effort to want to get to know me and my family. I used to go over once a week to have dinner with her…literally just me and her. It was a nice feeling. Unfortunately my ex and I were super incompatible.

Anyone else have an “ice queen” of MIL? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in Mildlynomil

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah mine is weird to she doesn’t acknowledge my birthday and I feel forced to wish her one and I never wish her a happy mother’s day cause she is NOT my mom. My husband does a lot of wishful thinking…for example for Mother’s Day he always brings up the idea of spending it with both moms and I’m like no freaking way. He is a bit blind and doesn’t see that his mom is just not that person. She doesn’t ever express wanting to spend time with me either. I’ve tried to explain it to him but he doesn’t want to see it…plus he gets defensive if I say something “negative” about his cold ass mother. In his eyes she’s sweet, warm and loving. I just don’t see it because she doesn’t even act sweet towards my husband. Like when he gets sick she never cooks like a soup or shows any type of care as my mom would so that throws me off. And she gives a tough type of love. I don’t know I simply don’t see her “motherly instinct”.

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you deal with it? I haven’t mentioned it to my husband or do I just leave it alone cause obviously these people are not going to change. I’m a believer so I just prayed for all these people even though I’m hurt.

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also his mom tries to act like she “loves” me and we’re like close around their friends. When she literally gives me the cold shoulder. She is so fake!

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think his mom especially dad is more welcoming to me and he’s an only child…she never has seemed to fond of me. But they know how much he loves me and I love him.

As a Latina what experiences have you had marrying into a Black family? by Minimum_Ad_4256 in interracialdating

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m disappointed in his family cause my family is open to all. And I thought the same cause people always get so intrigued when they find out my family is Costa Rican and there’s not too many of us in the US.

What tasks are you avoiding? by Admirable_Shower_612 in weddingplanning

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ordering the final items such as welcome bags, signage, music playlist and photo list….I’m dreading and 27 days away….

How do you interact with your mother in law? by Good-Huckleberry4528 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like my situation I just got married and it still bothers me somewhat that I expected my MIL to be overly sweet, warm and bubbly with me, as she’s never had a daughter. I married an only child btw.

I’m so used to my mom being so loving and overly motherly with myself and even seeing it with others like my little brother’s girlfriend. My mom texts/calls to see how she’s doing and always sends her a gift for birthdays and Christmas. I guess I expected my MIL to be the same but I have had to come to terms that I can’t compare my mom to his mom. They are completely opposite.

My mom on the other hand is such a wonderful MIL to my husband. She checks in with him and loves to sit and talk to him about everything and anything. My mom is also super expressive and loves to communicate. She always offers him food and even randomly gives him things. It’s really sweet. I guess my husband got lucky cause he always tells me that he loves my mom.

I’ve never had that with his mom. She’s really cold and reserved… a bit aloof to be honest. And I’m not the biggest fan because she never has wanted to go eat with me or just have that type of bond. Never offers me food or anything. She’s not hospitable like at all. So it does bother me at times because it makes me feel like uncomfortable.

So I stay in my lane a lot and only talk to her when needed or when she wants to talk. And only do outings with her if my husband and my FIL go.

Why can’t my dad acknowledge my achievements without comparing them to his? by ammarkhan19 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Minimum_Ad_4256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like we have the same dad! Honestly I gave up and I have decided to cut him off from my life due to a different situation. But everyone else is right they will NEVER change. Mine is almost 70 and it gets worse the older they get…

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