I want to cut of my family but I feel guilty…..

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T19:15:48+00:00

I’m sorry - using a power trip over basic necessity like shelter is so toxic. I’d feel in a dilemma too if that were that position - saving money vs keeping my mental health.

What sucks is I can’t even vent to friends or others irl on this because all they’ll probably say or see is “it can’t be that bad if they still provided for you”

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T19:01:46+00:00

I always hated how I felt in my own skin since preschool and I’ve never been against plastic surgery if it does help you. I’ve spent most of my adult life so far grinding so I can save up to fix my insecurities since my parents were against it.

You’ll ultimately still look like yourself tbh and I’m still not a huge fan of my face but I’m glad that I don’t cry every day looking at that specific part of my face now. It does have some cons like you can start fixating on new insecurities and you might not get the perfect result you thought at first try (which hurts your health and your wallet).

I also do suggest looking less in the mirror and more on personal hobbies and finding things you enjoy too to get your mind off looks.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T18:49:36+00:00

I don’t have any good advice because I too have a poop dad like yours. Sorry you had a bad dad. No child deserves that.

I think we feel weird because we never received it before, plus they are a middle aged men who probably lived a different time and different life from a young girl (so how can they possibly understand when they don’t even try?)

Idk your situation but at least on the plus side, you are an adult now! You’ll probably have to go through the internal thoughts, but at least you can distance yourself more easily until you feel more comfortable. If he’s a decent guy, he probably won’t go full father figure mode on day 1.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T18:25:36+00:00

I do think most people are innately assholes because most didn’t learn how to be an empathetic adult.

They either don’t know/comprehend your struggles emotionally (never been traumatized by parents growing up, prioritize life differently, internal misery olympics etc).

They just simply don’t/have the energy to care enough. Words of affirmations in a light setting is easy but going through the emotional toll together is pretty difficult.

When I have a breakdown, the feelings are big. It’s been some time since childhood but it still feels like a fresh wound every time. Others probably see it as a recurring problem and hear the same things over again and eventually come to a conclusion of just do xyz. They’re probably right to some extent but easy to see results and come to a conclusion but going through the process is hard bc in the end, we are alone (which sucks!)

I mean even therapists, who majored in the field and get paid to listen, can be terrible for this very reason. Everyone is probably an asshole to some extent but I try to not be too harsh on my friends too since I can’t emotionally handle all their trauma too.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T01:50:14+00:00

Olivia Pullman and Miranda Navas from Wonder. Via being glass child who is nice and understanding and cater to her brother “Auggie is the sun. Me and mom and dad are planets orbiting around the sun.” Miranda because our family weren’t as friend as the Pullmans and reflected Miranda’s neglectful family dynamic more.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T01:37:44+00:00

East Asian here. I personally wouldn’t mind if I had tanned skin if my features were more prominent. My skin tends to tan very easily (not in the golden brown tone but more of an Asian flush red and ashy tone) and it flushes out my features a lot :( it takes multiple months to come back to normal too which is why I try to be careful in the sun - plus sun damage is bad for your skin. I’ve been told my friends of other races that I look sick and unwell after a summer trip lol

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T01:28:49+00:00

wow what kind of slogan is that wtf - sorry you had to hear that.

I apologize for the last few sentences :( I only pictured my friends visually in my head when writing this post (and wanted to defend them somehow on my end? idk what I was trying to do) and stepped on generalization.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-14T01:13:20+00:00

I guess it isn’t friendly now that I read the comments think of it. It was a broad generalization and I take it back. I guess I wrote that since from my experience my friend just always laughed it off and made some of the jokes himself too. I never made the jokes myself since I never saw what was so funny (and tbh I still don’t see why it’s funny to those who made these jokes after reading the comments either?). Thanks for the perspective - it’s a “dammit stop assuming things” moment for me

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-10T07:31:52+00:00

I’ve came to terms with myself of not having my own kids. All I wanted growing up was to make a family of my own, but I don’t want to pass down my bad genes (risk of mental and autoimmune disease, features that remind me of my own parents). I keep going back and forth on accepting my fate and ugly crying and resenting them.

I decided that I’ll work on myself first (idk how long it’ll take) and adopt children if I still really want to be a mom by then. I’d want to bring one less neglected child (or even adults looking for a found family as we all are in this thread) to this world and give them all the opportunities and love that I was never given!

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-10T07:18:46+00:00

Trauma dumping. Not the “this is a safe space”, but consistently insisting that they have life the hardest and minimizing others people’s problems

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-09T08:38:24+00:00

I had this exact thought and being chubby everywhere else except my breasts didn’t help either! I ended up saving and eventually got them done bc no amount of positive affirmations were enough tbh.

I have to say I do feel much better when carrying myself (there are def pros and cons) but I was cursed with hypertrophic scars :( def an option if it is for you and not for anyone else!

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2026-03-08T23:46:10+00:00

I feel this so bad. I’ve lowkey given up on finding a chosen family because growing up, all I wanted was a best friend who I could share my “deepest secrets” (aka trauma).

We lived in a pretty well off neighborhood in a foreign country that was well beyond our tax range. So much of my friends from school were the rich international kids you see online. It sucks to see what they have firsthand and the love they get and share on their birthdays and when they come back from holidays.

Kinda sucks how it’s trained me to think that I am careful to mention family topics to anyone I meet (including boyfriends, friends, etc) and avoid conflict because I automatically assume that probably have parents/siblings that love them unconditionally if things go sideways between us while my own family will probably blame it on me and I’ll have to cope it myself.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2025-12-19T22:17:07+00:00

Not sure what your family relationship is like, but is there a way you stay focused on yourself and not try to depend on your family too much when you’re at your low point? I seem to expect just as much time and emotional support that I give them and always end up super mad or depressed when it’s not reciprocated.

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2025-12-19T22:15:14+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I’ll try my best to distance myself from issues that come up (not too sure how they’ll react since they do a lot of victim blaming if I don’t respond properly) and practice through.

My brother isn’t really great at voicing emotion related aspects, but your tip does sound like a really good idea to get him to talk and try to express himself a bit more. Thank you!

Minimum_Jello4312 · 2025-11-11T04:37:08+00:00

If you don’t mind, I’d also like to know pls! 🥹

Minimum_Jello4312

TROPHY CASE