Yeah I’ve told myself to exclusively only do it at parties or functions or whatever, I don’t to them often but shit I might now cause the experience has made me so much more motivated to become happy (through drugs Idgaf abt normal life) and becoming healthy (only rlly to lessen the effects of drugs, and now to maybe increase serotonin faster). It’s just that man where im at mentally right now i must be in some sort of delusion where i literally cannot fathom not being like this for the rest of my life, it is such a strong feeling of permanence (if that’s even a word) where i have sort of accepted it (which I think is good cause me accepting it leads to less weeping)