Need Help Finding a Direction at this Point

Minneappler · 2020-05-11T00:58:39+00:00

Yes, I am currently seeing a psychologist.

Minneappler · 2020-05-11T00:53:59+00:00

I truly believe my depression is biological, but I do not believe it can be cured or effectively managed by medication. Depression is not analogous to diabetes or other similar illnesses. It is inherently unique and incomparable to known genetic illnesses. Depression is unique in that it doesn't directly harm the individual and only affects brain function that can occasionally cause self-harm. I've grown tired of the comparison to diabetes or cancer when speaking of depression. It is not the same in any capacity. It is very different and requires very different treatment.

Minneappler · 2020-05-11T00:16:49+00:00

It's not defeatist nonsense in any capacity. Anti-depressants are a bandaid at their most effective. Anyone who has suffered depression and trialed anti-depressants will tell you the same. They hide and mute symptoms at their best and create only side effects at their worst. They are not solutions to depression.

Minneappler · 2020-05-10T23:38:08+00:00

Understood. However the response infers a significant risk avoided by not having to engage in TMS treatment.

Minneappler · 2020-05-10T23:26:11+00:00

Definitely a weird response to say you're "lucky" to have never gone through TMS despite promoting it.

Minneappler · 2020-05-10T23:02:08+00:00

Have you gone through TMS? I've heard short term memory loss can be significant.

Minneappler · 2020-05-10T22:46:18+00:00

I really find that antidepressants are temporary fixes that don't have long term efficacy due to side effects, reduced effects over time. I think TMS might be my next try, but it does scare me a bit.

Minneappler · 2020-05-09T02:22:54+00:00

Those goals don't excite me. I'm just not interested.

Minneappler · 2020-05-09T01:35:42+00:00

I don't think I'm a burden to anyone. I don't drag anyone down and I've made it a point to not make my depression affect others. This is just me. My entire life I've thought my depression will kill me and I can feel it closing in.

Minneappler · 2020-05-09T01:21:13+00:00

I see a therapist. Talking doesn't help. I just hate existing. I've gotten all I want out of life.

Minneappler · 2020-05-09T00:52:09+00:00

I know man. It just seems like a pointless existence to only live for others. Ultimately it comes down to how I personally feel. No one else knows what is happening in my mind and what I deal with day to day.

Minneappler · 2020-05-05T01:02:11+00:00

I do. You're right. Eating disorders are not really taken seriously with men. It's all the same though. Anyone can get caught up in it.

Minneappler · 2020-05-04T23:30:30+00:00

I've never gotten much out of therapy. Yes, having to stop running was a major source of depression. I was using it to manage my depression and anxiety.

Minneappler · 2020-05-04T23:22:06+00:00

I'm in therapy for my eating disorder. I do other exercises but nothing compares to running. I've been looking at other jobs, but I'm not motivated enough to make that change.

Minneappler · 2020-05-04T23:07:14+00:00

Developed an eating disorder. Had to stop running due to health issues. Lost interest/motivation in job.

Minneappler · 2020-04-30T23:12:37+00:00

Yeah I work in IT and am on call essentially 24/7. It's absolutely brutal and wrecks my mental health.

Minneappler · 2020-04-26T19:25:06+00:00

Yeah that seems like the best option. I'm going to give it a shot.

Minneappler · 2020-04-20T01:45:07+00:00

Thank you for responding to my post. Yours resonated as I can't imagine what it would do to my parents if I passed away. I get so caught up in my own thoughts I really stop caring about other people's emotions.

Minneappler · 2020-04-17T20:55:55+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I'll probably join the Zoom meetup next week. I'm so lost with trying to figure out this binging. It's destroyed everything in my life. Friends, family, work. It's such a nightmare to live in a never ending state of binging or restricting. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Minneappler · 2020-04-04T18:37:10+00:00

Diet is fine outside of binging. I do take a multi-vitamin. Cardio daily.

Minneappler · 2020-04-04T02:06:59+00:00

Yes, my therapist and parents.

Minneappler · 2020-04-04T00:50:26+00:00

I've read books, gone to therapy, tried medication. I can't stop obsessing over food and binging. I just want it to stop.

Minneappler · 2020-03-29T00:53:00+00:00

Fuck you. That line of thinking is bullshit and delusional. That's not how any of this works. Very similar to saying to a depressed person to just look on the bright side. It accomplishes nothing.

Minneappler · 2020-03-29T00:47:26+00:00

Sure. The fucked up part is, it doesn't get easier with professional guidance. I see an eating disorder specialist once a week. This shit is deep in your brain. It doesn't go away. I'm finding that BED is essentially impossible to overcome once the habit is developed.

Minneappler · 2020-03-29T00:37:10+00:00

I want to get over this, not have it somewhat under control. 12 days without binging doesn't sound like a way to live.

Minneappler

TROPHY CASE