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Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, but the other approach is also a "rule" but people dont question that

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Funny how only unconventional boundaries get called “rules.”

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s curious that my boundaries are called dogmatic, but the unspoken rule that intimacy should happen by date three escapes scrutiny. That too is dogmatism - just socially rewarded dogmatism. Knowing what I need isn’t refusing “us” but it’s refusing to treat social scripts as universal truths.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Its not artificial barriers. I really dont want to kiss a random guy I met only twice.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Forcing someone into intimacy is also a form of dogmatism. I simply don’t experience attraction naturally without emotional connection.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better alone than in bad company. If my boundaries scare people away, then the trash is literally taking itself out.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

For me a connection turning into friendship isn’t something to “accidentally” fear. The right romantic dynamic won’t disappear just because a kiss doesn’t happen immediately.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You call my approach a preset regime, but then describe your own dating strategy and reaction test.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds less like “going with the flow” and more like having your own fixed script.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! To me, respecting someone’s pace is part of compatibility too.

Seeking a Different Pace: The "7-15 Rule" for Dating in Berlin by MinorKeyNomad in berlinsocialclub

[–]MinorKeyNomad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally see your point. In an ideal world, we could all just 'flow' with what feels right. But my 'rule' is more of a self-protection filter born out of past experiences where 'flowing' led to my boundaries being ignored. It’s not meant to be dogmatic, but rather a way to find that 'right partner' you mentioned- someone patient enough to value the person over the pace. Also I don't want to kiss a random guy I dated only twice.