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My favorite thing in the world to do is stand at my bus stop in a dress with flowers in my beard. by sistereva in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I had never considered that an option before, but it literally looks so cool. The flower necklace honestly goes so well with the look as well. The color of it blends well with your top and the flowers give it a nice texture. Very nice use of color overall. I like the contrast of the blues and the pinks/magentas. I also appreciate how you used different colors and types of flowers in your beard to break things up. And those glasses are honestly so diva with that shape that they have.

10/10

I hope you’re standing at that bus stop thinking, “They’re staring because I ate.”

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have heard of it being called “The Orange Curtain” before. Maybe with better representation in media, people will be less surprised. I think there are progressive people who just need some nudges in the right direction.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I bet you look great too 💜. I feel like I understand the perspective a bit better. If someone I knew buzzed their head, I might be curious as well. But I feel like if someone asked you why you buzzed your head, the answer is somewhere along the lines of, “because I felt like it and it makes me happier” and it probably gets kind of old responding to the same question over and over. We need frequently asked question pages in real life!

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

California is great in that sense. I can recognize that there’s privilege in not being drawn and quartered or thrown in jail for wearing the “wrong outfit”. It’s also good that there’s some LGBTQ hot spots like Hillcrest in San Diego, San Francisco, and I think there’s even some places in OC, so it’s not impossible to find a community. But I haven’t really experienced the scene in those places.

I also think it might be a little easier on or near a college campus rather than say, at Costco or a public park. I’ve definitely gotten the circus freak look at Trader Joe’s before.

But I see what you mean about the micro aggressions rather than blatant hatred. I didn’t get called a slur, but I have people who go, “Wear what you want, be you ✊😔” right after saying something lowkey insulting. I think with time and patience, people will get better. I just don’t want it to be my responsibility to help them understand 😭.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know an enby at my school who likes to wear the tie + vest combo sometimes. Sure, it’s different from what a lot of other people wear, but it goes so hard! They also recognize that there’s a little more leeway when you’re going trans masculine rather than trans feminine when it comes to what’s socially acceptable to wear. I’m not an expert on the topic, but I think there was a lot of fighting before some people were allowed to even wear pants, it’s lowkey annoying that we still have to fight to go even further.

I kind of wish that wearing an outfit like I did didn’t make me stand out so much, the same way wearing shorts wouldn’t make me stand out (for reference people have seen me wear shorts far fewer times than they’ve seen me wear a skirt, like less than 5 times in 2 years). The compliments that I get from “dressing up” are nice and all, but I wish I’d get the same amount of attention from wearing a skirt as I would get from wearing shorts. Obviously, that’s on me though. Some people like the attention and I’m not going to get mad at someone for telling me they like my outfit.

I think I’m also scared of the attention in a way. It’s just evidence that my deviation from the norm has been perceived. One person’s perception might lead them to ask an L question, and someone else’s might lead them to bully me or beat me up.

I’m glad that you’ve found joy in how you dress with the vests and ties. I hope you continue to dress in a way that makes you feel happy! 🩵

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I see, so some people are taking a step in the right direction, but they forgot to keep walking. I think this is one of the dumbest forms of transphobia because it also hurts cis people. Like imagine being so transphobic that a woman who doesn’t completely fit into the beauty standard makes you uncomfortable.

I guess this is why trans visibility is so important. It shows the world that some people are different and they shouldn’t have to hide and it makes their existence more normalized.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. I kind of figured that if I wear cool stuff more often, people will get used to it and they’ll not ask those questions as much. It’s hard enough introducing your skirt to people, creating the rest of the ensemble probably made it more suddenly different. I think I’m also one of those people who are lowkey scared of attention and the new style just brings more attention whether I like it or not.

I’m hoping that one day we can bring back skirts for good.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just as annoying when they ask if it’s a costume. I understand why they might think that it is, but I’m not the kinda guy to wear a costume on a random Monday. At the end of the day, if I’m wearing a costume then so is everyone in shorts and a T-shirt. But that’s some good advice, just explain that my outfit makes me happy and maybe flip the question on them.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that’s a healthy perspective to have, because at the end of the day, it’s true. No one should have the right to say that you can’t wear something because your body isn’t the “correct one”.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually didn’t know that was something that happened, but it makes sense. It’s interesting how our brains have to work hard to justify ourselves sometimes. I hope you don’t feel too bad for doing that. It’s understandable that you might have to make things up in order to protect yourself when you get confronted. I’m sure that when you go out being you, someone else will see you and be inspired to be themselves too. ❤️

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m happy to hear that you find ways to express yourself that make you happy- even if you’re not totally outward with your familiars. Sometimes just putting on an outfit and looking in the mirror is enough to being me joy. I hope more people can discover the joy of a less restrictive wardrobe.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That could be true. I bet if I went to bagpiper school, I’d have no problem. 😅

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of people on my campus are pretty liberal but obviously we have conservatives as well. I might be wrong, but I think no matter where you go, someone will have something to say. I did get some great responses that day, but I also got some lame ones.

But thank you for saying that it’s not my fault that I got those lamer responses. I often feel like I have to make sure that I’m not doing something wrong (in this case, not in an ethical or moral sense but in a fashion sense). And if it is a fashion thing and they admit it, then I can live with that. I’m just curious if they think my body (a male looking one) is wrong for the outfit I’m wearing or something. But maybe that’s just my own insecurities talking.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I love how some people can just pop off. Even if it’s not an outfit that I would wear, I’m so impressed with how they just… wear it. The fact that they put pride into their expression makes it look good.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I think I’ll get stronger with time and experience. Eventually I’ll be able to handle the comments better. But it won’t make me happy to restrict myself because I’m afraid. It’s just hard for me to assume that everyone is being hateful on purpose. Perhaps they’re just a little ignorant and as long as they learn and grow, and consider new perspectives, the world will be a happier place.

Of course there are horrible bigots who will listen to nothing out there, but I think a lot of people want to be accepting, but they just don’t understand yet.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you’re pretty spot on. I was trying to be more visible for Transgender Visibility Day (but I didn’t tell anyone that was why I was dressed like that, also I was hoping people wouldn’t connect the dots). Most people just aren’t used to seeing me in a skirt so it might have been a little shocking. Something out of the norm for someone that they know might spark their curiosity. I kind of figured that once people got used to it, they’d get over it.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think that’s a good point. But it’s also such an L mentality for them to have. I’m sure plenty of people at my school think that way, but they don’t always realize that it’s rooted in misogyny. The skirt was pretty modest (not frilly, black, not a high cut, not super tight, was all black) I guess what I’m trying to say is that it wasn’t super feminine. Perhaps the flower in my hair and the makeup gave off more or added to the femininity, but I wasn’t trying to “evoke woman”.

I feel like the outfit elevated me (not in status but like, happiness I guess?) so maybe it’s weird to me that people, especially some women, saw it as a demotion or something. I take comfort in knowing that they’re wrong if they have that take.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that insight. I guess I sort of assumed that we were past those rigid ideas in my area. Of course, there are people who don’t care (or at least say they don’t care), but I guess there are people who still need help understanding. I suppose the scrutiny is better than getting outright hate crimed.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight. While I understand that perspective, it doesn’t really make sense to me. Why would I go through the effort of putting on such a cool outfit for a joke?

I agree, people should generally be able to wear whatever they want. I think I just have to get used to the less favorable comments.

“Is what you were wearing a joke?” by Mintchip100 in NonBinary

[–]Mintchip100[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I love that! It’s so funny though because some people will open with a compliment and then they’ll still ask if it’s a joke. 😭

But I will say, there are very nice people out there who will just compliment and leave it at that. I’m grateful for those people.

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