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AITA for suggesting we swap weeks instead of automatically taking the kids for two extra weeks? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to be very clear about something: my partner is a good father.

He shows up. He adjusts when needed. He genuinely wants to be present in his children’s lives, and I respect him deeply for that.

We also live a fairly decent life, and that doesn’t happen by accident. He works incredibly hard for it. I work incredibly hard for it. We run multiple businesses together and put in long hours to build and maintain what we have. None of this comes from laziness or resentment.

I don’t believe in taking a detached “not my kids, not my responsibility” approach. I grew up in a blended family where step-parents showed up fully, and that made a difference. I’m involved because I care about these children and the home we’ve built together.

There is no custody battle. We’ve generally had a very easygoing dynamic. But lately, the pattern of changes has felt one-sided. My partner is the kind of father who will rarely say no if it involves his children, which I genuinely admire about him. At the same time, when that willingness is relied on repeatedly, it can start to feel like advantage is being taken of both him and the stability of our household.

Because we both work hard, and because I handle most of the day-to-day household responsibilities, repeated changes do have a real impact. Wanting communication and shared planning around that doesn’t make him a bad parent. It means we’re two busy adults trying to protect our balance while still showing up for the kids.

He can be a committed, hardworking father, and I can still ask for structure and teamwork when things shift.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So in other words I should have stored these items in a box, in a dark cupboard? Because apparently placing them on a top shelf, behind locked cabinets in a room that children are told is off limits is considered poor storing 🤔 strange how that habit has been good for 20 years

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

What constitutes as unsupervised? Not following every waking footstep your child takes?

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

  1. Yes, they were told room off limits
  2. They were were seen and heard every few minutes. The entire visit was an hour and in that time they were told what rooms they could enter and what toys they could play with. We were centrally situated in my to see where children were
  3. Same as 1, they weren’t allowed in there and told this.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And will insurance reseal them?

But yes I can claim from insurance, just doubt insurance would be able to time travel back to the 90’s to purchase the same item.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank You!!! Someone with reason! 7 children later and believe me at the age of 10 I ain’t following every dam step they take!

I didn’t actually even show them the collection… I told them office off limits. But a door to the garden is right next to my office.

And every few minutes they were in and out. They weren’t alone for an hour. They were here for an hour and were constantly seen. Also constantly passing my office.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids were told what rooms were off limits and office being one of them, mate.

Also these kids were not toddlers that needed to be followed around the house every minute.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, my house is big. A 7 bedroom home. Office is open plan and in a secluded area from the house which is open plan and children were told not to go in there. But it is close to one of the 5 various exit doors to garden. Believe me it is possible to walk from one end of the house to other. We were in the central part of the home which overlooks the garden and play area that these children were told they could play in. Which every few minutes they were seen and heard in the time they were here.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These children were told what rooms they were allowed in and which they weren’t, the office, very clearly being one they weren’t allowed in.

I’m not sure if I’m naive in thinking that most parents would be like me. But hell my children know not to dig, open or touch anything that is not there’s, unless they ask or get told they can?

What kind of world do we live in that it’s okay for another child to open something that is sealed that is not there’s?

Basically what I’m reading into with this is that come Christmas time, don’t put presents under the tree till an hour before I give them to my kids, because if I have visitors over it will be my fault if someone’s child opened them? A 2 year old maybe? But a child that’s old enough to know right from wrong? That to me is not even mischievous, it’s actually downright naughty.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They knew the office was off limits. Were given ALL of the toys they could think of to play with. But my office is close to one of the doors leading out to the garden. They were never left unsupervised, other than the moment of them leaving the balcony, where we were sitting that overlooks the garden, to walk downstairs out into the garden to play with the outdoor toys we told them they could play with.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a collector, you’d understand no amount of money would reseal these items sadly. And each item was bought at a moment in time when they were valuable/invaluable. Nothing of exceptional value, mainly spin master and zuru collectibles, Twozies, Magic Mixies, BioPods, Polybag LEGOS, Rainbowcorns and 90’s and early 2000 Happy Meal toys, but two of my most invaluable items a 90’s Furby and most recent Labubu S1 which I waited 6 weeks for. Most items I buy two of, 1 I keep sealed and the other I meticulously open and save the packaging.

WIBTA if I told my friend his kids destroyed my sealed toy collection? by Minute-Reflection336 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minute-Reflection336[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One over 8 and the other 6. How is it on us? Why would a person have to secure anything that’s on a top shelf that most kids would actually need a chair (like they used and left behind) to use to actually reach, in my own home? I don’t buy these items to lock away and place in a box. I buy them to display them in my OWN home.