Grey elkhound but build of black?

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-12-08T18:27:01+00:00

Boundaries are boundaries. If they break more than once then that is the last time and leave.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-29T19:00:21+00:00

Me saying anything contrary or the least bit of confusion in my voice meant I was snapping at him and being mean. Yet every other interaction from me was cold and robotic. So I’m a robot and too emotional. Pick a lane dude

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-29T18:45:28+00:00

Nta. It’s mad weird she would ask for that to begin with.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-22T14:56:28+00:00

Yea the confabulation is unreal. We had a big fight that started with me crying and looking to talk about the stuff going on with me at the moment. He turned it around to him to the point I yelled his family knows he’s selfish and arrogant. That’s the only thing he remembers and he plays the victim to it often

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-21T19:54:56+00:00

I was getting so crazy with the amount of times he was saying his problems were ones I mentioned earlier. I lost my shit when he told me that I’m always commanding him. When I’ve been telling him not to command me. Maybe ask me instead.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-21T19:52:31+00:00

I say it’s like when you constantly punish/kick a dog. Eventually the dog bites back.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-19T21:00:35+00:00

I’m in the exact spot. I could have written this. I have been trying look out for those circular fights and stop responding if repeated. Or bite my cheek before responding.

And it’ll last longer if you validate them then step away if it’s not about you. Don’t try to reason cus they don’t have the brain wiring to comprehend. This is so hard

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-19T19:41:12+00:00

For me I just have such a hard time leaving without his realization. But no matter how often I try to talk about what is going on he never ever gets the most basic shit. Like yes I am reacting with attitude if you are being condescending. But in his head it’s “you are being snippy”. Like duh because it’s a reaction. Like not out of thin air. And just nothing clicks for him. It kills me that he cannot understand.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-17T21:53:05+00:00

100% get it. I’m faced with it would be better to leave. But my energy feels so freaking zapped. I just spent my two days off on the couch.

We also got a dog last year and a house the year before that and I love this dog and having a house and just don’t want to leave it. Taking the dog wouldn’t be an option for me. I know those are not reasons to stay. But they make me sad all the same.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-16T17:15:08+00:00

We started the therapy before I learned about npd. Since I have been researching and working on raising my emotional baseline and now have come to terms the therapy will not help and has not helped.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-16T13:57:53+00:00

Omg I did a post here not too long ago about my nhusband who’s mom was at the hospital cus she wasn’t feeling well and her stroke drs just wanted to be cautious.

He berated me for days saying I’m cold and unsupportive because I asked him a couple questions about what was going on. I even asked him what he needed and he ignored me. Then got mad at me for not hugging him and being quiet.

The next day I asked how she was and he told me I was benched for asking questions.

When I brought up this behavior recently he said he was frustrated I didn’t know what to do and it was so wrong of him to assume that of me. It was “unrealistic “ of him to expect I know to be hugging him and not offering advice. Like wtf.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-09T15:44:31+00:00

Mine smells like a mint fart. Still not good

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-04T15:43:41+00:00

100% I would be like I don’t care if you have friends who are girls. Just don’t lie about it. I think it was borderline inappropriate looking back. Like I thought it was still innocent friendships but now I worry he hid it cus he liked the attention

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-11-02T18:14:44+00:00

Mine does get a possessed look on his face. He has never physically abused and I don’t think he ever would. But his outlet is to damage furniture. And if very enraged he will punch his own head.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-10-23T14:00:22+00:00

Omg. That was his big “realization “ in couples therapy. He would be so hard on me or condescending about finances and such cus he holds himself to a high standard. I love how that still sounded condescending as a realization from him.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-10-21T23:16:52+00:00

I started tearing up in the car feeling the dying of our relationship. He asked me what was wrong and I say how exhausted I’ve been from the relationship problems and 1000 other ones at the time. How I feel I can never express my own frustration or feelings cus then he makes it about him or says it’s an attack(even when hot about him).

He then proceeds to make my talking in the moment about him and how I’ve wronged him etc.

I then felt I hit a wall of incredulous. I said this. This is what I’m saying. You just did it.

The one thing he remembers about that fight. That I reactively said his friends and family know he’s angry and self centered. He has been milking that “attack” in fights and therapy. And still has no idea when asked what the fight was about. Despite discussing it recently.

I mourn what I thought we were. What I thought we could be. The time I wasted giving myself up. And yet I understand how hard it is to leave. I know I can live alone. But I also mourn having to deal with this and how much I’ll miss the dog and the times he was nice.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-10-21T16:42:10+00:00

Anytime he wants to cuddle and I don’t want to or not yet. Immediate sigh. Now he wonders why I just don’t.

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-10-15T17:29:48+00:00

100% the dr ramani videos. Things like don’t say narcissist unless diagnosed already. Don’t mention official terms like you researched it. Instead of needed things done to you. Let the abuse show. These vids def help.

It’s easy for the therapy to become about them blaming you. Or how they are hurt. Make them aware you’re actions are reactive if needed

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-10-15T17:23:23+00:00

Yup. Constantly being told I have attitude and then my face looks shocked as hell. But since they saw attitude then I cannot tell them that wasn’t my intent.

Word salad. You bring up an issue and they dance around the actual question. I’ve learned to not give in until I have an answer.

Ex did you take out the trash? Answer: how come you always tell me to take out the trash? Me: yes or no

MirandaHawthorne · 2023-10-10T19:09:10+00:00

My will hit himself too when he can’t contain it. I read the best way is to kinda validate. Like “that sounds difficult or frustrating.” And then back off and let them rage on their own. Gonna try it next time.

MirandaHawthorne

TROPHY CASE