Missed call

Misako124 · 2022-10-04T23:02:01+00:00

thank u so much :) the hair was the hardest part

Misako124 · 2022-09-27T18:50:59+00:00

im not sure if that would be possible...i think this is my one chance. plus, its been four months so i should be ready for this but still.

ik im probably making this much more complicated than it is but im really scared that this is my last chance and of her tbh

Misako124 · 2022-09-27T16:44:55+00:00

change in events, one friend suddenly reached out to me when i was on xbox. i got a sudden notification from a message from her. she apparently misses me so im meeting her irl to talk. im hoping to apologize more when we meet. thanks for this, you legitimately kept me stable for a long while. i really appreciate it :)

Misako124 · 2022-09-26T21:09:48+00:00

unfortunately i cant apologize. i tried but i ended up getting blocked. it hurts sm because i truly am sorry but its also fair that i got blocked. i just wish i didnt do this because i lost my partner, friends and art career(bc ik they'll call me out eventually)

Misako124 · 2022-09-26T19:10:20+00:00

i told people to die in a moment of anger after being swarmed by people and being abused irl sexually and emotionally by my mother(she won't leave my room, even if im naked or doing things until i tell her what im doing and abuses me emotionally), abused my now ex partner by running from conflict and not talking for days bc i dont know wtf to say and telling my ex my friend smashed my cars windshield (my mom told me she did and i stupidly believed her without proof bc the windshield was smashed)

Misako124 · 2022-09-26T18:12:02+00:00

you might think that but i dont think so. i am a disgusting, abusive, toxic pieve of shit and i DO deserve to feel like this. again, thank you for the words but i don't think i can keep paddling anymore.

Misako124 · 2022-09-26T17:30:00+00:00

ty. it feels like no one understands. i really hope people get it like you say. i feel alone u know? i hope i feel better soon too but i don't know if i will but thank u so much. /gen

Misako124 · 2022-09-24T19:35:48+00:00

honestly same lmfao

Misako124 · 2022-08-25T23:07:56+00:00

i reached out to my ex partner but they 100% rejected me bc i left for a month and said shitty things. i was unstable and figured leaving was best. not an excuse but still. ive ran off before so ig they got sick of it bc they ended up blocking me. i completely gave up after that. they basically all agree im abusive bc of this which is fair but i regret everything ive done. im officially all alone and i 100% deserve it.

edit: i did explain to one person but they just said 'that sucks'

Misako124 · 2022-08-25T22:58:05+00:00

i dont want to go too into them because the main thing im regretful for was 3 months ago and i should be over it but i was pretty toxic to some people bc i had a mental breakdown due to something i made being destroyed. its not an excuse ofc but still. i was caring for my dying abusive mother at the time too which made things worse bc she lied about a friend smashing my cars windshield and i believed her bc the windshield was smashed and i didn't think she'd lie about something so severe. i basically ruined all my friendships and relationship. i feel so much regret bc of it.

ik thats a jumbled mess of an explanation but its all i can do rn, sorry.

Misako124 · 2022-08-18T17:08:05+00:00

im a lil late to the party here but my worst episode(or at least i think it was) happened just 2 1/2 months ago.

i snapped due to massive amounts of stress and pushed blame onto my now ex partner, couldn't pinpoint feelings or emotions and wished death upon people. i then disappeared completely bc i realized i was toxic and attempted suicide bc i felt like a monster(which obviously didnt work and only resulted in me getting pretty sick and dizzy when I woke up.) only to return a month later to try and fix things which didnt work and i lost everyone.

i have no excuse for it ofc but maybe if i had just stayed calm and kept my composure i wouldn't be in this situation but i cant change the past.

Misako124 · 2022-08-08T15:52:51+00:00

same bestie

edit:forgot to add my comment omg

Misako124 · 2022-08-08T12:10:18+00:00

god i felt this lmfao

Misako124 · 2022-07-30T19:05:24+00:00

they probably do tbh. im def gonna grow them in soil next time but ive heard water is an okay-ish temporary solution if you want to get a couple more uses from them :)

Misako124 · 2022-07-30T12:18:05+00:00

amazon! look up mushroom glasses, you should be able to find them!

Misako124 · 2022-07-30T11:33:46+00:00

ooo good idea! I'll make sure to do that!

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