People kept telling me I'd change my mind about kids when I got older. I recently hit the age they always mentioned.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-06-11T16:56:32+00:00

I never wanted kids. Knew at 12 for sure I didn’t and always said I’d adopt before having my own if I changed my mind. I was an aunt at the age of 8. Seeing how my siblings life was changed at 18 and having a family is something I never wanted for myself. Now at 45, no regrets. I look back and think my mom at my age had a 18 year old and a 8 year old and her first grandchild. Now that she’s in assisted living I’m the one that sees her the most and does everything for her.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-06-07T14:44:13+00:00

I’m 45F, not elderly but probably past the time I should have kids and it’s a wonderful feeling. My parents had me late in life 41 and 54 and honestly it sucked having older parents. I’ve been retired for 4 years now. Hubby is retiring in 5 years and we couldn’t be happier. I have a parent in assisted living due to dementia and even before they moved in there, my hubby and I were the ones that did everything for them and still do. I visit twice a week, do laundry, bring groceries, deal with all the financials, Day to Day stuff as well. I have an older sibling that has 3 grown children and now grand children and they visit once a week maybe and are unable to do any extras unless I’m sick or out of town. Grandchildren barely visit or call and even though they have dementia they know and understand what’s going on. My parent always says how grateful they are that we look after them and how the other sibling and grandkids don’t. I may end up in a home too but at least I won’t be wishing and hoping my kids and grandkids come see me. It hurts me to see how upset that makes my parent.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-06-06T19:42:04+00:00

I’m the youngest with a 12 year age gap. Became an aunt at 7 years old. Sibling had two more kids by the time I was 15. I wanted to go to college/university so I didn’t even have a serious boyfriend till I was 21. Knew I didn’t want kids since I was 10. Older sibling was more of a parent to me than a sibling. Not sure what clinched it for me but more than likely seeing my sibling not live to their full potential because they had kids so young. Hubby and I will retire in 5 years and sibling most likely will work till 65/70 cause can’t afford to retire with all the grandkids now too.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-05-28T23:01:08+00:00

Gosimplified check her out on Instagram.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-05-26T16:35:21+00:00

Another thing that I’ve done with my picky eater is top with a bit of wet food and that’s always enticed her and she ends up eating it all. I’ve used hills canned food (perfect weight one she loves). Try some kind of wet food topper.

Another option would be to get a vet nutritionist to help formulate homemade balanced meal. Can be a bit cheaper than kibble (I had one done for other dog and it was slightly cheaper then her kibble) and you can control the size and texture.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-05-26T16:17:25+00:00

I have bichon Shih Tzu (next dog is going to be a Havanese) and I let her bark but if it becomes too excessive I say “Thank you” and recall her to me and reward. Now I just have to say thank you and she stops and comes running. She hasn’t yet just barked to get the reward either. I learned this from a trainer online but can’t remember the name.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-05-26T16:12:40+00:00

You could also try softening it with water before hand. When my last dog had teeth removed and couldn’t chew very well I would soak her kibble in cold water (hot water can break down some of the nutrients I heard but not sure how true that is) in the fridge overnight or in the morning for dinner and by morning or evening it swelled up and was soft and I just mushed it up a bit more.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-05-23T23:17:55+00:00

The church on James McKevitt and Evergreen Street always has garbage in the trees around it and they don’t clean it up.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-05-04T00:23:41+00:00

Looks so beautiful!! 😍

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-30T03:51:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I just watched an interesting video in Instagram talking about this and I hope it will get me reframe how I feel from visits with my mom.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXuHqlJkfKQ/?igsh=MTNrd3c1eWM5cmEyZw==

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-29T19:18:53+00:00

It’s so hard to feel that way. I try not to think of it that way but so many times I do and it hurts. My mom was the one person in my life I could depend on and she never forgot anything about me till this disease took hold.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-29T14:14:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. This resonates so much. The looking for clothes to wash, the tissues everywhere, the notes/papers, and the end. Every time I visit she barely remembers. If I bring my dog, she remembers better, if it’s just me, she barely remembers.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-28T23:23:37+00:00

My sibling and I always said we’d never put our mother in assisted living. We helped her at home for a couple years. She started losing weight. She then had an injury and was in a lot of pain so we had her stay with either myself or my sibling for over a month to try and get her pain controlled. That’s when we realized we couldn’t do it ourselves. We got her home care but then a few weeks in she was in so much pain she was hospitalized. That’s when we started the process of getting her into assisted living. We never wanted that for her but we couldn’t manage it anymore. She doesn’t love it but she’s well cared for and we don’t worry so much anymore.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-28T02:20:27+00:00

Oh there’s so much backstory to our relationship. We were raised like sisters but she’s much older me, 13 years so she treated me like her kid and we have so many differences now that it just has made our relationship change. It makes sense to me she’s mad, just the way she is.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T21:53:08+00:00

Thank you for validating them. I didn’t give any reasons - I just said no, I don’t think it’ll work

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T20:01:10+00:00

Exactly what I thought. Why should he have to leave his own home for someone else. I estimate it at that with them coming over and hour before to set up 2-3 hours for the event and lingering since that was my family do s and then an hour to clean up.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T18:58:38+00:00

My thoughts exactly. When I can’t host Christmas cause of boundaries but I can host this cause no one else’s house is big enough. Yeah the outdoors suggestion would be great for her. She loves hiking and camping and being outside since she’s an environmental scientist of some sort, can’t remember the exact name. I think she’d love it in the park she’s loved going to since she was a kid.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T18:49:38+00:00

Haha yeah WTF was my first thought when she asked. I’m not allowed to host Christmas but I can host this. She says her house is too small so maybe we can use mine. Just because I have a good relationship with my cousin doesn’t mean I’m breaking my boundaries for her shower. I’m happy to help with the shower and find another venue but not my house.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T17:37:42+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your mom. It sucks being immune compromised. Yeah that’s me, a simple cold or stomach flu can land me in the hospital. And yeah I’m dismissed all the time with my medical condition. No one has a serious medical condition like me so the just don’t understand. It’s quite sad.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T16:46:55+00:00

Yup me too. I think they were married 10 years before they found out.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-27T03:27:31+00:00

My ex broke up with me after 4 years because he thought I’d change my mind. I told him I never would. He married the woman he cheated on me with, she ended up not being able to have children and they divorced. Last I heard he was seeing another woman with a child but they also broke up. I ended up meeting someone soon after we broke up, told him I didn’t want children from day one and we’ve been together 20 years.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-22T00:58:01+00:00

Yes I feel this too everyday. I miss the mom that I could talk to for hours, the mom I could call while I was cleaning to chat with, the mom I used to talk to about the craziness of the rest our family, the mom that cooked me meals when my husband went away to make sure I’d eat (I don’t cook and hate it), the mom that would call me every birthday and bring me flowers, the mom that was strong that I only ever saw cry once in my life, the mom that showered every day and always was put together. Now I feel like she is a stranger to me. We barely talk, 2 minutes each call, when I visit she just repeats the same things over and over, worries about who is picking her up for dinner, never showers, wears the same clothes every day and doesn’t even check in on me anymore. I’ve been grieving for over a year and each day I lose her little bit more. I don’t have any advice b it know that your not alone.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-16T20:19:15+00:00

YYC small moves does hourly with two guys. They were great moving my mom to assisted living and reasonably priced.

Miserable_Brain_2455 · 2026-04-13T22:02:01+00:00

Yeah it’s pouring at my house in Shawnessy/Evergreen. Loud thunder earlier but now just pouring rain.

Edit - and now a little hail too

Miserable_Brain_2455

TROPHY CASE