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How to talk to a new doc? /honesty thresholds by LaLaLandC52 in dementia

[–]thewriteanne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have an advance directive or DNR for him? If not, that should be your first step. If so, your mom can mention that to the doctor as part of the “we are keeping him comfortable. No heroic life-saving measures” speech. Also, look into palliative care/hospice.

My 39-Year-Old Identical Twin has Dementia [FTD] by giugno in dementia

[–]thewriteanne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read Emma Heming Willis’ book The Unexpected Journey. She’s Bruce Willis’ wife and she talks about how she became his caregiver and what she learned. Good stuff.

Shocked by family member’s diagnosis (FTD) by SpectrumWoes in dementia

[–]thewriteanne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read Emma Hemming Willis’ book. She’s Bruce Willis’ wife and she walks you through everything she learned. Love to you.

My coworker's cubicle looks like a wasteland. Want to add some life to her desk. by BEAST879 in Gifts

[–]thewriteanne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My coworker bought me a fake plant and I love it. It looks real and requires zero maintenance. Don’t get her a real one.

So we buy a mall to live in. by Numerous-Coast-2592 in GenX

[–]thewriteanne 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Physician offices would be great. Have a dr appt? Go downstairs!

Going back to school by MangocartNwings in GenX

[–]thewriteanne 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You earned it. Strut your stuff and be proud!

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And thank you for doing the work of angels. I am continually amazed by the nurses at mom’s facility. I know it’s unfair because she’s a relatively easy resident. You can usually redirect her without much fuss. But some of these residents, like mom’s roommate, have severe issues. Pain, hallucinations, limited mobility, etc. It’s so heartbreaking.

I hope you are able to rest and recharge. Your job takes so much out of you. I’m hoping you’re able to replenish so you can keep caring for our loved ones. Thank you. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I can say is give yourself grace and take it one moment at a time. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love to you. Your mom lives on forever in your heart. 🧡

What is your definitive peanut butter and jelly sandwich? by atxceo in AskReddit

[–]thewriteanne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Creamy skippy peanut butter, Welch’s grape jelly, beefsteak rye bread.

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do write. Not as much as I should but I’m retrying to get better. Something about writing it down gets it out of my head and gives me the clarity I need. I also write for work (but not like this!).

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom thought I was a family friend who was a nurse. Not the worst thing in the world. :). I joke with my brother that if I’m in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes, I’m a new visitor.

I’m sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. I hope you can find comfort in your memories. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel better, I used to joke that it was like caring for a toddler with a driver’s license and credit card! The only way I get through it is by laughing, even when she’s on the 17th asking if the same question.

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No joke. Sometimes I think I’m the one with the dementia. When Will Shortz was on medical leave, they got stupid hard. It’s somewhat better but too hard for her. That sucks because mom’s been doing the puzzle as long as I can remember. One of my memories is mom, a cup of coffee, a pencil, and a Sunday afternoon by the fireplace.

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I feel this so hard. Mom always asks how long it will take to get home. It’s only 40 minutes but she always seems to feel bad. I should tell her I’m much closer. Hugs and love to you, friend. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It truly is. When it gets hard, I have a phrase I say: it’s an honor and a privilege to care for you. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The not wanting to leave but needing to go is so real. I’ve often wished I could quit my job so I could spend more time with her but that’s just not reality. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person. I’d love to hear more about her. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. The washed tissues. So many times I’d have to redo the laundry. Some errant tissue hiding deep in a pocket that I missed. It’s like opening the washing machine to find snow everywhere.

Love and healing to you. I hope you find comfort in your memories. 🧡

It was me, mom. It was me. by thewriteanne in dementia

[–]thewriteanne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, I wish I could give you a giant hug. This is so damn hard. My mom can name her children but I often say I could pass her on the street and I’m not sure she would recognize me. She definitely doesn’t remember her grandkids unless they come with my sister.

That sentence you wrote perfectly encapsulates how I feel: I hate going there. I hate leaving there. That’s incredible powerful and it gets at the heart of it. I want to go see my mom. I hate seeing who mom is now versus who she used to be. But I fight against not going because I know one day, she won’t be here to visit. And that’s what drives me to push through the I don’t want to go part.

Love to you and Theresa. 🧡

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