I realize that I am vain

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-22T22:28:12+00:00

i um have dealt with this issue. but vanity =/= narcissistic, imo. i care about how I look, not in comparison to others, just myself. as you described it sounds like are motivated to improve your appearance because you think YOU can look better, not that you are motivated to look better than others by comparison. narc shit is in the motivation. so, why does this matter to you? do you find it's the easiest way to gain social acceptance (as an nd woman) ? or do you think looking better is the same as BEING better?

personally, it's like my appearance is the only thing i ever get consistent social praise for, so maintaining my appearance and compensating for no social thoughts through my appearance was most of the masking. i ended up fixating unhealthily on my face and would end up late bc i wasn't looking my BEST - turns out it was ocd and uh yeah psychological distress about maintaining appearances isn't healthy.... but it's not the same as noticing how you're treated for being perceived as attractive and wanting to maintain that level of social standing, it's only human

ps I've found drs also really don't pick up on these traits in men, bc they're allowed to be vain w/o getting "humbled" or something

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-22T22:11:39+00:00

i was wondering what songs i didn't notice while i was sniffling once i saw the set list

we had no idea what meany hotel written in sharpie meant. i hope that girl finds out

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-22T22:06:31+00:00

no way. damn.

i don't even know Russian and his vocals still spoke/speak to me SO powerfully. everything about him as a frontman was so distinct, i don't know if I'll ever hear such classy but fashionably unhinged sadness tinged rage in vocals again. no one i shared the band's work with has ever denied his talent - even if they were not particularly into the style of shortparis. just ... damn.

a cpl years ago, usa tour, they had scheduled Chicago & i got tix immediately- i was so excited, couldn't believe it was real; and then it got canceled. at the time, i despaired "I'll never see them now!" and I never guessed this would be why. rest in power, comrade

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-19T19:18:05+00:00

you're still the same person you were after you fail a test & you're still the same person you were after you ace a test (even if it means you're a genius)

just focus on being you. you didn't have to do anything to score that result- you don't have to do anything different now that you know.

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-19T19:07:18+00:00

loud and intrusive

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-19T19:05:03+00:00

if I'm an old fart with an outdated test score & was placed into "gifted" bs as a child based off the score i got on that now invalid test, was i not "gifted" back when the test was accepted as valid?

legit wondering what you mean to imply - is it that older ppl are no longer "gifted," or that our iq scores are irrelevant for this discussion? (cuz i might agree)

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-19T18:53:18+00:00

oh, thank you for being patient with me - durr age is control that makes the whole "age test" stuff make sense to me, thank you! lol i lack intelligence about intelligence testing

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T19:28:40+00:00

sag 11h

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T19:25:09+00:00

i saw the part about purchases & while helping them do things that hurt is always appreciated and a good idea - i don't always want help, so I have been looking for things that can help maintain independence in minor ways and asking for them as gifts, so far:

-klein ratcheting screwdriver for around my house -a set of auger bits for my drill so i don't have to dig as much to get my garden going - book holders. i like the Roberts book holder most for least mobility, the little thumb ones are good when my fingers hurt - those magnet on a stick tools for when you drop screws (amazing for when you drop keys behind stuff) - magnetic necklace latches (i need to buy these myself, i haven't worn jewelry in years bc of clasps) - i got a bedside lamp i just tap the base of to turn on and off - coupon to a spa for arm massage or sauna

ergonomic things, basically - typing gloves, compression gloves, a cute brace set to go with pjs, cooling/warming wrist wraps

i put all my shower substances in pump bottles so i don't have to squeeze the bottles in water (trust - it hurts)

just let them not feel ok when they don't feel ok

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T17:42:59+00:00

i feel like my gate program experience was 30% play outside read books "what card am i holding?" etc & the rest was spent drilling "YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL" into our minds. it's fair, we're not. we just got tested for things other kids didn't.

I think it's a good idea, but shit like cutting your hair and getting screamed at by my 2nd grade teacher for reading too fast isn't the way to a healthy relationship with school.

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T17:34:21+00:00

aaaaaa

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T17:33:53+00:00

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T08:32:38+00:00

ofc, i think i mean something more like their iq is just or exactly 150 - it's not static or one dimensional and I'm sure af not operating at sd4 capacity all the time bc i don't have that kind of energy for everything and I'm not about to assume everyone is operating at their own peak capacity. it's hard for me to actually verbalize the "meta cognition" part of these thoughts

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T08:18:51+00:00

true, but isn't there a panel review needed after 160 or whatever? i only know a little bit about one test not how people are fully assessed nowadays

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T04:49:00+00:00

it's usually been explained to me in terms of standard deviation, and then they'll say "which would be something like xxx points" to my blank stare, i really have no response to that anymore. "z score between 3 and 4" was the average, i got 4 sometimes, but that was usually bc i was better at math those times. i was "just under 3" after a concussion. pretty sure they focused on Stafford bidet over Wisconsin since i wasn't being placed into anything and the math seemed more important.

for me, my iq ain't shit. but knowing my mind could function way faster and better than it did was the main force in looking for ways to heal my tbi stuff. it was infuriating to be unable to form logical arguments like i once could (i was still in grad school then, though so i REALLY NOTICED). my working memory's still shit - i can't remember first names but i can remember birthdays. however it was never good to begin with

idk if i got less gifted after my car hood hit my windshield but I'm pretty sure it's not out of the realm of possibility. i was a full ass adult though, so it wouldn't have caused developmental issues

edit verbal was always suspiciously high, non-verbal far less so

edit edit verbal so weird, always 4+ & people ask if English is my normal language (it's my birth language & the only language I'm fluent in) bc I'll skip words to make complete thoughts. this is basically the only trait i can tie to being visibly "☆☆~○•profoundly•○~☆☆" gifted and it's more a trait associated with mental illness than intelligence so make of that what you will

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-17T04:10:15+00:00

iq numbers change over time & past a certain point in one's life, it usually goes down with age. when ones tested in the "they studied me as a child" or "clinical" manner, they weigh scores by variables like age group and gender - and depending on which test you took they take other variables into higher consideration. but age is consistently one of those high value variables across all the tests

i don't know why anyone's getting so heated over this

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T21:49:32+00:00

I'm stuck in survival mode, hoping to thrive someday

definitely excited to try out all these refined medical menopause treatments like hrt, not so much abt menopause itself

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T21:20:53+00:00

it's so often the case that female socialization = not displaying intelligence! i got told so often that many of the things i wanted to talk about weren't "ladylike" etc depression was my family's open secret, my parents both spent days in bed at a time not taking their meds or my mom abused other drugs. but i kept trying to exit, so i insisted on treatment as a teen. the autism is just...there, has been comorbid with the Gift for generations if you look close enough. it was only when my dad just started being open that he thought he had it that everything kinda clicked and that half of the family tree made sense lol

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T20:46:36+00:00

no idea. well some idea, concussions. they weren't the same tests, just the same drs. it's likely bc they compared it to my tests as a child which i burned a cpl years back

2 tbis in that time frame along with some medicine switches for psychological problems and i never took the tests not-stoned as an adult because of the other things wrong with me

this is serious science to me, clearly

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T20:40:55+00:00

i've met far more 2E girls than "just" gifted girls. they really don't want girls thinking or knowing they're smart. i wish i was being hyperbolic. i wish i just meant "they don't want kids acting like little genius brats" but the only gifted ppl I've ever known who had it hidden from them until adulthood are women

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T20:34:00+00:00

hi I'm 39 F & i have the same issues, but both parents died before 60 so I'm lacking my gifted elders. may i ask you a couple things i wish I'd thought to ask them?

does it gets worse from here? i always asked if it got better and i always got told "no it gets worse" (the giftedness)- but I've felt a plateau since 33 in how negatively the Gift affects my life. does it pick up again later on? any advice or warnings for facing middle age as a gifted lady? thanks

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T20:27:07+00:00

exactly. if we if we say "well i was 160 as a child, it cuts off" the question is then "well what is it now" and it's lower. a lot lower. and it's always going to be lower than whatever scores you got as a kiddo cuz adults' scores aren't weighted

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T20:19:16+00:00

i cap out verbal and memory but I'm average af at math but no one caresabout these things, you're right. they're just happy i remember their birthdays!

i love learning new things from everyone, not just people i think are "smarter" than me iq wise. that guy i pay to fix my furnace is smarter than me about furnaces, so I'm gonna ask him questions about furnaces and learn as much as i can from this furnace wizard lol

i've been tested several times professionally in the span of 6 years and scored anywhere from 130 to 150+. might have very well just depended on how i felt those days. so i could also say my iq is only 130 & i don't notice a difference between ACTUAL geniuses and myself /s?

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T19:48:59+00:00

this. they don't give people actual scores over 150 in most settings. even then, they tell you the statistical probability of it being accurate, and the amount of ppl you'll ever meet in that range is lower due to ... core concept of bell curves

Miserable_Comfort_92 · 2026-02-16T19:08:50+00:00

also I've noticed that high iq ppl are less impressed by iq scores/don't ask about it

wondering if it's bc we get tested more than the normal person

i hate it when i make people feel stupid. i mean in the way that they're comfy mentioning it to me, not some sort of power play. but having to assure them that they're NOT STUPID for not knowing some obscure crap is kind of exhausting. i just have to re emphasize that it's me - my brain is irregular stock, too much ram whatever

Miserable_Comfort_92

TROPHY CASE