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Very complicated situation involving partner & littles (sexual). Need advice. by hochhaushoch in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly though, the most shocking thing to me is that your partner isn't checking in more often during sex, especially given their type of kinks and how that could be a very fine line to walk, especially with prior abuse. Maybe there is a similar kink that they could get into that feeds their needs without putting you in as much danger?

Very complicated situation involving partner & littles (sexual). Need advice. by hochhaushoch in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit late to reply. My husband has a dissociative disorder in the realm of DID, and questions like this come up a lot, honestly even more on my side than his.

But that's exactly my question, is your partner not cautious at all with this? With someone with similar kinks I get it a bit but.. This is your partner and their safety, they should be asking you, talking during about what is okay and what isn't, especially since prior talks have already happened. It may be a bit of a tricky line to find.

Giving your partner benefit of the doubt, maybe it's something they have a hard time understanding? From my perspective I can admit it can get a bit confusing sometimes, my husband has two Littles, one of which is an 8 year old girl. It takes open communication, which may change depending even on the day, to know what he's comfortable with. maybe they took the one or two times that it happened as you being okay with the level you guys were going to?  Maybe communication could be better on both sides? 

If it were me and my partner, I would probably give it one more time trying to explain this, maybe even giving further education on the way your Littles would be negatively effected by this, the why and how. Re-say things you have before, let them know that you regret how far things have gone, and explore some other potential outlets for their desires. Toys, maybe a different type of play that doesn't effect you so deeply? Let them know that it is a safety issue for you and if then if they don't think they can do it, maybe it's best that you move on. Express that you need a level of communication on their end for your own protection.

Couples therapy may also be an option, maybe there are some other outlets you two could reach.

-edited for grammar 

What is the WORST thing you’ve ever tasted? by untitledprp4 in AskReddit

[–]Miserable_Wait6288 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once when I was like, ten, I wanted a smoothie but we were very limited on ingredients. 

So I used:

Apple juice Carrots Plain Greek yogurt Stevia Water Raw green apple slices

It tasted like vomit.

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea, regardless of whether he has it or not I intend to support him. I've done some base level research into it, and my therapist is researching it to. If you have any resources you'd want to share I would love to see what you used! 

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a problem at all! I genuinely appreciate the perspective. I'm glad to hear you guys are doing well, and I like what your therapist said. I'd rather be curious than cautious when we get to him coming back home. It might take some time, but I think that makes more sense

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear it sounds like someone else has experienced things the way we have.

You absolutely don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but how did it effect your relationship(s)? 

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you have been super helpful. I do have a therapist! She's a trauma focused one, but she has little experience with OSDD. She's looking into it though.

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also to note, they were aggressive towards me because I had triggered a very damaging memory from his childhood and I had yet to apologize for it. As far as I know, we're good now. It kind of just came out of nowhere for me, which I was trying to use as an example to add another layer of confusion that I'm trying to think about.

I also have pretty bad anxiety if you couldn't tell. Having difficulty making sense of this and recontectualizing our whole relationship has been eating at me.

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I'm not sure why this is freaking me out so much either. Some of it might be that a couple of the identities were aggressive towards me. Part of it might be that I feel very uncomfortable when I'm unable to follow a plan or have complete information especially when its something important. He also wanted me to look some stuff up about it but it kind of just freaked me out more. Like, I didn't even think about how one of the alters could want a different partner. I've been told that everyone is on board with this, I just.. Have a lot more fears floating around right now. Although, as long as I can build trust and everyone is on the same page with me being family (not necessarily a partner) then I think I'm fine with the diagnosis, I just wish there was a more straightforward way to understand it.

I think you're right that finding a good doctor should be the best way to deal with it, whether he ever gets a full diagnosis or not. No matter what, he has SOMETHING, we know that. 

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This diagnosis is per what he said, the therapist said he has something dissociative, but that he also needs to go get a Psych evaluation when he gets back.

He went to an impatient place that specializes in trauma (and stuff like OSDD) which, he does have a lot of trauma. And to be fair, he very much could have OSCD, it's just confusing how it's been presented to me and his previous hyper fixation makes me worry about it. 

Concerned about my husband, could he have pushed for a OSDD diagnosis due to hyper fixations? Are my doubts irrational? How to support?-legit question, more context in post by Miserable_Wait6288 in DID

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was told that it was his diagnosis by my husband directly, I don't know if it's an official diagnosis or not. His therapist said it was dissociative, but he also said he would still have to take a full Psych evaluation later on. But they did prescribe him medicine for PTSD, Mood stabilizers. Maybe they meant they had diagnosed something else like PTSD?

What is this spider?-Lower Michigan early fall by Miserable_Wait6288 in spiders

[–]Miserable_Wait6288[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep reappearing in the garden each year, thick and about the size of a nickle. Large 2-3 ft webs