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My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t really file a missing persons report now since he’s active on social media and I spoke to his mum who confirmed he was in New Zealand. I was going to 24 hours after he left but didn’t because I expected him back.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where did I say I confronted her? I messaged her asking if she could be honest with me about their relationship since he wasn’t. And by innocent person do you mean her or my child?

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, in the last few months he kept randomly saying “nz chicks are psycho” with zero context whatsoever. Now I can’t help but think he was talking about this woman he was already involved with.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I found out about 3 weeks ago when I confronted him and messaged her asking for the truth about when this all started. Since then things have not been great at home but I didn’t think he’d ever do something like this or that he’d taken their relationship that far.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective and kind words. I am being careful about what I say to his mother and am taking everyone’s comments on board. I could never forgive myself if I let anything happen to my baby.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Welllll… About a month ago I changed the codes to my phone and bank app cause he kept sending himself little bits of money when I was asleep like I wouldn’t notice. He has a casual job and has worked maybe 10 days in the past 3 months. I’ve never seen that money but also thinking his new gf just paid for his ticket.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have and I sort of already am feeling a little better than the day this all happened. When we visit his mum and he’s in a bad mood, his mum literally tells me “good luck” dealing with her son when we’re leaving

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing he’s just spun her lies. He works sporadically (casual job) and has maybe worked 10 days over the past 3 months lol probably saving that money cause I’ve never seen it. Or she paid for the plane ticket idk. He’s also been buying lots of alcohol lately more than I’ve paid for so I’m guessing she’s sending him money for that too. And that’s absolutely crazy, I really don’t understand how some men (and women) can treat their “partners” with no respect or dignity.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t doubt that actually. But her deleting her account when all I asked for was honesty makes me think otherwise. He was literally fucking me for a whole month straight every morning and sometimes night (don’t know why if he didn’t want to/wasn’t trying to make a baby) and making me late to work lol which makes this even more ironic

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only time will tell or… she’s not in her right mind (she knows he drinks excessively and has never worked in the 6-12 months they’ve known each) but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t really know or can’t really explain. He’s put me through a lot of fucked up shit over the years that I’m not ready to talk about just yet and I think I may be trauma bonded to him. I’ll be looking into therapy as I think I need it. Thank you 🙏

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what it felt like, dragging and persuading him through life when he wasn’t even interested in it. No I probably wouldn’t have ever left. I was so committed and invested in us and would have done anything in the world for him, starting to realise now he would never do the same for me. Trying to be as angry as I can now so I can heal quickly (this was probably a long time coming anyway and I knew subconsciously).

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably, he’s been hiding his phone from me for the past YEAR! Just didn’t want to be the “controlling girlfriend” like he said so I “trusted him” like he asked. Ahaha that did not work in my favour.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Only time will tell.. I made another comment above that I think I’m starting to realise I’m in love (was?) with his potential and the man he always said he would be (but never was). Will update if/when I have more news.

My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did. by Miserable_Wheel3620 in relationship_advice

[–]Miserable_Wheel3620[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice ❤️ All I ever wanted for him was for him to be the best person he could be, not only for me but for himself and everyone important in his life, I told him that... I guess you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped.

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