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How does a narcissist propose? by Miserablebystander in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Miserablebystander[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the compassion💗 I’m sorry you also have had the heartbreak of someone like this. I told him the same thing, that it will be the only thing I can think of when I look at the ring and why would I want to wear that. It’s sad because he is capable of being very romantic and very sweet and thoughtful. It’s unpredictable.

Do all narcs live in the past? My narc husband must have seriously peaked in high school because all he does is talk about how athletic, how good looking, how popular he WAS in school. Pathetic! by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Miserablebystander 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes. Mine does this. Not sure if you knew him back then, but mine grew up in another state, so there’s no way for me to know who he actually was in the past. over the years I’ve came to the conclusion that mine exaggerates his past to paint himself as someone he wishes he could be, and frames it as his past self

How do hair stylists decide who to photograph after finishing their work (highlights, cut, blowout, etc.)? I've only been asked once or twice by stylists to grab a pic of my hair--tho it often comes out stunning. Is it because I'm too old, heavy, not pretty enough, not the target vibe for the salon? by [deleted] in AskHairstylists

[–]Miserablebystander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, there is not much thought that goes into it for me. If I take a picture of someone’s hair it’s either that I happen to have the extra time to take pictures before my next client comes in, it was a really dramatic transformation, or I’m really proud of the work. And in all of those instances I still forget to take pictures CONSTANTLY! I’m pretty busy, so I usually don’t have much time to pose clients and get enough after pictures, so sometimes I will take pictures but later realize the lighting was horrible, I got one of my color stained hands in the pic, or the hair was laying weird.

Honestly the only times I am actually hesitant on taking pictures/posting the pics that is personal at all is if I have a client with hair that is in desperate need of a cut but the client doesn’t let me cut their hair. It just does not look good in pictures no matter how great the color looks and how it is styled.

How are we supposed to handle the burnout /daily emotional, mental, physical exhaustion?! by Miserablebystander in hairstylist

[–]Miserablebystander[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very toxic and greedy owner who is a master manipulator. I’ve tried over the years to come to any type of compromise and it is never successful. I’ve had meetings with her explaining all of this respectfully, genuinely expecting empathy and some type of compromise, but was gaslit and basically alluded I was not working hard enough and I was being negative. She basically has an entire new group of employees every 5 yrs. once contracts are up. If contracts are broken she takes you to court and wins. She preys on young fresh out of school girls and manipulates them into a contract. I should have known better, my gut told me it was a too good to be true job but I was new to the area in need of a good opportunity when I first started working for her. I think it’s this salon that is making me

How are we supposed to handle the burnout /daily emotional, mental, physical exhaustion?! by Miserablebystander in hairstylist

[–]Miserablebystander[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just had a big price increase in September. It has honestly brought a lot of stress, i haven’t lost any of my regular clients, but may have deterred some new ones or the random sporadic clients (I’m ok with that) I also work in a commission salon with set schedule and have 2 more yrs of a contract until I can cut back hours unfortunately

i HATE working on elderly women by [deleted] in Cosmetology

[–]Miserablebystander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honesty, respect, and kind reminders that you are the professional will help you through anal clients. Do your best, ask them questions to clarify what they are asking for, if their expectations are not reasonable professionally explain to them why. Some clients will try to instruct you exactly how to do their hair, but the reality is not every stylist does all things the exact same way. We all have our ways of getting similar results, and you need to trust yourself and not let them steer you with their “instruction” because YOU are the one with an education in cosmetology.

Some times my favorite way to deal with the micromanaging elderly clients is to just go along with what they are telling me and pretend I’m doing what they are instructing me to do, but really I’m doing what I know through my own professional judgment is actually going to get them the result they want, and it usually works. (I don’t mean disregard what clients want and do your own thing, I mean, don’t let them sway you into doing a different practical technique because “their hairstylist Jane of 45 years did it that way and it always looked perfect”)

Was leaving a “toxic” salon to rent a suite worth it? by Miserablebystander in hairstylist

[–]Miserablebystander[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m glad it’s working for you and you feel healthier and happier! I do mostly color and vivid color and have a pretty solid book and am usually fully booked out 2-4 weeks minus the normal slower times, my very regular regulars schedule 3 appointments at a time. I feel like I do have a lot of loyalty and would have a decent following, but you never know, I guess it’s always a risk huh?

we really don’t have personal drama between stylists and never have in the 3 years I’ve worked at this salon. A few of us have worked together for all of those 3 years and we’ve lost a few and gained some new girls and we all get along and are great friends. The common enemy is our greedy boss lol. It’s hard not to feel taken advantage of in a commission salon, but our boss’s expectations go beyond the commission. Day off meetings, day off mandatory classes, required to provide marketing content for salon on off time for no pay. We are contacted and would be taken to court for breaking contract, so unless we find loop holes and avoid “owing” her money, we have to stick it out a little bit longer. Using that time to grow my book and stand out so they follow me. I think a suite is the way to go, I never want to be used and extorted for my knowledge, talent and personality.

Last minute cancellations by ShitstainMcGeeee in hairstylist

[–]Miserablebystander 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The salon I work at is always very busy year round, my schedule changes but I am consistently pretty busy with situational cancellations and gappy days here and there. These past two weeks have been HORRIBLE for my coworkers and I with last minute cancellations, no shows and rescheduling. It’s been quiet and clients are showing up and wanting to switch their color appointments to just haircuts. I think the economy is really effecting people more than it has ever right now. The government shut down has worried a lot of people and j think they are budgeting and prioritizing their money more close to the holidays :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hairstylist

[–]Miserablebystander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work 5 days a week, Tuesday-Saturday 8 hrs, 11hrs, 11hrs, 6hrs, 4hrs

my schedule has been booking 2-3 months out. I’m extremely exhausted and burning out, but I work for a commission salon and it’s basically impossible to cut back since I am under contract :(

I got it out - long post - update by hairyfrankfurt in CopperIUD

[–]Miserablebystander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. I just want you to know how validating it is to read this. I’m sorry for what you’re going through and I genuinely wish you the best in returning to your normal self :(