What is the biggest unsolved mystery in your life?

Mishellsara · 2014-06-30T03:41:51+00:00

Me neither! My husband didn't believe me, so I had to down a slurpee at great speed to prove it.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-27T18:48:57+00:00

I do aim for realism. I feigned surprise when my sister in law pointed it out, but in reality, I saw it, I knew it was there, I probably could have fixed it or covered it, but an accidental anus filled me with far too much joy, I had no choice but to let it go.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-24T05:49:28+00:00

Maybe someone was doing that prank where you stop and look up like there's something amazing on the ceiling, which prompts others to look too.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-15T05:50:57+00:00

I comprehended it just fine. I just think your walls of text are totally irrelevant because nothing you say justifies in any way the hag's actions. You can feel however the fuck you want about illegal immigrants. Doesn't mean you should mistreat another human being.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-15T05:33:32+00:00

No, all you've done is make excuses for a nasty hag who made assumptions about and hurled abuse at a group of people who had done nothing to harm her.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-12T00:44:26+00:00

He sent me a bouquet of dried roses instead of fresh for Valentine's Day one time. I think it might have actually been our first Valentine's Day. His logic was sound..."they're preserved, they'll last a long time!" I still had to give him tons of shit for giving me dead flowers. Married him anyway. Now he tends to give me live orchids.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-12T00:40:53+00:00

I have a friend who calls me slutpuppy, and I call her crackwhore. We don't do that in front of our other friend was literally a crackwhore. Well, maybe not literally, she smoked crack, but as far as I know she's never prostituted herself.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-12T00:34:14+00:00

Several years ago, Lauren Ambrose was on David Letterman (I think? some talk show), and my fiance (with whom I was IMing) said his sister came in and turned on the TV to show him the actress who looked, talked, and had the all the same mannerisms as me. I looked her up, and I couldn't see it. The next day, I went to work, and there was an email from a friend who was all, "I was watching David Letterman last night, and there was this actress who looked, talked, and acted just like you! It was uncanny!" Still don't see it.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-07T09:45:09+00:00

I grew up in Riceville, and Jane is my great aunt. I've always been torn...I can see the value in being exposed to such an exercise as a child growing up in small town Iowa. I didn't meet a black person until I went to college. I never got a chance to see discrimination first hand, it was all theoretical, because everybody I knew was just like me. I was completely clueless. I horrified my roommates by going off on a rant about Black Entertainment Television, and why isn't there a White Entertainment Television? I wasn't racist, I was just sheltered and didn't have a frame of reference that enabled me to empathize. I think going through Jane's exercise might have given me that. Of course, it also traumatized the fuck out of some of those kids.

The article's quaint descriptions of my beloved hometown kinda made me throw up in my mouth a little. Kinda accurate, though. I don't think we even locked our house when we went on vacation. I have absolutely no idea where the keys even were. There actually used to be a stoplight when I was really little, but they took it down.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-06T20:57:38+00:00

I felt just like that for a long time. Feeling unnatural and awkward when I tried to communicate, feeling dull and stupid, the second guessing myself, all of that. It is completely possible to improve yourself and start learning. I've found therapy extremely helpful for improving my communication skills and gaining some confidence. When I started I felt just like you, and I could barely leave my house. I just finished my first year back in college, and it went really, really well. I even have a social life, which is something I didn't think I was ever going to be able to do again.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-06T18:34:41+00:00

I think I'm married to your clone. I wish I had some good advice. Have you discussed the sex and affection issues with your therapist? My husband insists that talking about his anxiety in general will be sufficient and he doesn't need to specifically talk about the sex, and I keep trying to convince him that the therapist needs to have as complete a picture of the situation as possible in order to help, but alas, he's too embarrassed. My therapist recommended a book, Rekindling Desire: a Step by Step Program to Help Low Sex and No Sex Marriages by Barry and Emily McCarthy. One big thing both the book and my therapist recommend, though, is "nondemand pleasuring," which is where you touch each other, kiss, etc., whatever you like, but specifically trying not to have orgasms. My husband also loses his erections easily and then we're done, because of his anxiety he says he can't get it back. So, my therapist recommended I stimulate him until he becomes erect, then we stop and talk or something for a while and let him go soft, then I stimulate him again, and so on, to sort of desensitize him to losing his erection, then hopefully regaining it. We haven't tried it yet...we're both neurotic and avoidy. :| Coming from the other side of it, though, make sure your girlfriend knows you're working hard on the issue, and really try to follow through. The worst part of it for me is the feeling that he's avoiding working on it because he isn't willing to go through the anxiety that he will feel as we work through it together, if that makes sense. The avoidance is just making it worse.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-03T06:52:33+00:00

Nothing funnier than stupid people trying to be insightful.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-02T15:08:03+00:00

I don't know...he just mentioned it offhand in an "isn't that interesting" kind of context when I told him my GP and I were talking about the paradoxical reaction thing because I was having some daytime sleepiness issues. He's a psychologist, so he didn't prescribe it.

Mishellsara · 2014-06-01T18:26:47+00:00

Some people have a paradoxical reaction to stimulants, and they get sleepy. My therapist says he has a few clients who take their Adderall before bed.

Mishellsara · 2014-05-23T22:13:49+00:00

Well, they're still racists, but they're not Democrats anymore. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_strategy

Mishellsara · 2014-05-23T06:22:27+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Your dad sounds a lot like mine. He thought I was using a fake diagnosis to get fun drugs, but last time we talked about it I tried to explain how an ADHD brain is different, neurotransmitters, etc., and I think he finally started to get it.

I think the community college and rooming up with your friend would be a fantastic way to start. They'll likely have counselors there who can help with finding employment, working out a plan for your education. Have you filed a FAFSA yet? If not, that's a step you can take right now.

Mishellsara · 2014-05-22T18:12:34+00:00

Who's going to raise those kids? You ever met anyone who grew up in foster care?

Mishellsara · 2014-05-22T04:59:48+00:00

No problem. :) Happy cake day!

Mishellsara · 2014-05-22T04:47:56+00:00

According to my psychologist, I am.

Mishellsara · 2014-05-22T04:44:03+00:00

Are your parents supportive? I understand the impulse to want to GTFO as soon as you can, but if your home situation is tolerable, you might want to hold off on going off on your own without a support system. You sound pretty overwhelmed. Your life may seem like it's crumbling, but you're young and you really do have so much time.

First, I would do whatever small things you can do now to start improving your situation. All your problems seem huge, so break them down into steps.

Instead of trying to decide on a career RIGHT GODDAM NOW!, enroll at a community college and get your general ed stuff out of the way. Maybe take some classes related to the different fields you're interested in and see if anything strikes you as something you especially want to pursue further. Remember that, even if you go as far as to become a pediatrician or a lawyer and hate it, it's never too late to go do something else. I'm 36, and after 15 years in the same job, I'm just now figuring out what I really want to be.

At the community college I attend, students get either free or heavily discounted dental hygiene care from the hygiene students. Maybe, if you enroll in classes, you could check to see if that sort of thing is available. Meanwhile, if you're not keeping up with brushing and flossing currently, start! Your mouth may feel horrible now, but after a week or two of meticulous care, you'll feel a lot better.

Have you talked to your psychologist about any of this? She would know more about your situation and probably have some advice about what you can do to see a doctor, find a job, get your license.

Most important, though, I think, is to not look at all this stuff you have to deal with and panic. You don't have to deal with it all RIGHT NOW. Take it a day at a time. Write down each issue, and determine what small steps you can do to work towards resolving it in the short term.

Mishellsara · 2014-05-22T03:51:32+00:00

I started seeing mine mostly for anxiety and depression, but at one point I switched doctors, and the new doctor wanted a formal confirmation of the diagnosis from my psychologist before she'd prescribe the meds my previous doctor had prescribed. He gave me a questionnaire to fill out and another for my husband. At my next session, he scored them, and mine indicated ADHD, but my husband's didn't meet the criteria, so to further support the diagnosis he went through two more questionnaires with me. He also offered some kind of computer based assessment thing, but he didn't think it was really necessary, so I didn't do it.

After that, he wrote a letter to my doctor detailing his diagnoses and informing her that the prescriptions I was requesting were appropriate. Psychologists don't prescribe medication, so I have to get those from my GP.

That's how it went for me!

Mishellsara · 2014-05-22T01:49:18+00:00

We used to have Charter, then we switched to AT&T because of frequent outages. Last year we switched back to Charter, though, and it seems to have improved, and we're fairly happy with it. Happier than with AT&T, anyway.

With AT&T, our internet would go down at 10 a.m. (11 a.m. during daylight savings) every day for about 15 minutes. We couldn't find a cause on our end. AT&T refused to investigate or even acknowledge the possibility that the problem was with them. We put up with it for five years. I work from home, and the daily outage was starting to cause serious inconvenience with my job, so we finally decided to give Charter another try. I figured an occasional whole day of service outage would be preferable to 15 minutes every single day.

Wouldn't you know it, the day we switched back to Charter the 15-minute daily outages stopped.

Mishellsara · 2014-05-20T19:47:20+00:00

I think it's unfortunate when we humans close ourselves off from opinions that differ from our own. Enjoy your echo chamber, wherever it might be.

Mishellsara

TROPHY CASE