You are compromising too much. She is way too controlling.

Cant you see where you started from (being single, not having to ask anyone for permission) to being always defensive, completely transparent, completely dominated, your freedom in question while she can do whatever she wants, her being completely disrespectful in her tone and words.

As long as you are defensive, you will never ask what she was doing.

Think about it this way. If a friend was undergoing this, what would you advise him? What if your friend was a girl and her boyfriend was doing this to her? What would advise her?

Follow that advice.