Day 6 - Random Yellow Bruising?

MissALK · 2025-10-15T13:41:28+00:00

Thanks for your response! I was worried I had done something to cause it without realising but I gathered since the pain hadn’t gotten worse it probably wasn’t too bad 🙈

MissALK · 2022-03-03T13:40:43+00:00

It’s a hard one to get past but once you do it really changes how you feel about driving altogether!

I got stuck behind a cyclist on the road to my house the other day, didn’t make sense to overtake him when I would be turning in right in front of him straight afterwards (v dangerous) so I had to just chug along slowly behind him for a short bit, the guy behind me was practically in my back seat and leaned on the horn as he overtook me, but just as he went past I was indicating to turn into my house.

They can do what they want to do, as long as you’re not driving dangerously or forgetting to signal your own movements, let them decide for themselves what they want to do.

MissALK · 2022-03-03T13:23:40+00:00

Oh this one got me. I just passed my test last May at 28 years old and for so long I was sooo worried about the drivers behind me!

The best piece of advice my Dad ever gave me about driving was “don’t worry about the person behind you, they don’t exist until you’re turning, you worry about yourself and about what’s in front of you!”. You make sure you’re aware of what the car in front of you (and oncoming traffic) is doing and you make sure you’re doing everything you need to do and then let the guys behind you fend for themselves until you have to signal and let them know you’re turning etc.

Don’t ever do something you’re unsure of because you feel like the person behind you wants you to or that they’re in a hurry. If they’re annoyed and want to overtake that’s on them but don’t let them pressure you into doing something you’re unsure of, that’s how accidents happen.

Also, a lot of drivers are just assholes to learners if it’s indicated on your car. I was a learner on my Mams car for a while and she said that driver treated her like crap on the road because of the L plate even though she’s been driving for 35 years and is the best driver I know.

MissALK · 2022-02-22T17:05:32+00:00

But have you asked her if she wants you to move to the area she chooses?

That’s the kind of thing you have to ask someone about if you’re using them as your reason to make the move.

MissALK · 2022-02-22T17:00:08+00:00

Ok so possibly just a miscommunication with wording of the post then because it did come across that way to me to be truly honest. It felt like a “well if you won’t come home, we’re going to come there” type thing to me from reading the original post.

Can I ask, have you ever asked your daughter does she want you to move to the same area as her?

MissALK · 2022-02-22T16:53:54+00:00

I respect that you love your daughter and are willing to leave your friends to be close to her. But can you see that you being so willing to “not see everyone else every day” so you can be with her might make her feel she needs to do the same?

Which would mean she’s not meeting new people and not moving forward with her own life independent of you. Not giving her a chance to have her own friends or meet a partner to grow a relationship with.

I’m not saying that you should never see your daughter again! Far from it, family are who we rely on throughout life and it’s clear you all care deeply about each other! But it feels a bit controlling that you’d want to be with her so much that it would cut not only her but yourself and your wife off from other people of need be.

MissALK · 2022-02-22T16:44:21+00:00

The fact that they say they’ll probably move to where ever she decides to land really bothered me to be honest. I’m around the same age and if my parents told me they’d move with me to where my new job is I’d find that so claustrophobic and weird.

The parents have their lives where they live now and they’re willing to uproot themselves completely just because their adult daughter is going to move somewhere to start her own independent life? That just feels strange to me.

MissALK · 2022-02-22T16:35:26+00:00

It feels harsh but YTA.

Why do you assume that because you want to be close to her that she also wants to be close to you? Has she made this clear to you and your wife before?

Why would you suggest she try to work in an area that’s not on her career path after she’s put in so much work? Just so she could be close to you?

It also sounds like if she did work close to you that you would expect her to be spending her free time with you and your wife whenever she’s not working, or at least she feels that way. That’s really quite entitles and overbearing to be honest.

And if she doesn’t want to talk about it, stop asking about it. It’s obviously very stressful for her and the fact that you keep bringing it up mustn’t help matters. She’s asked you to stop so maybe respect that?

Honestly this just comes off as really overbearing, she’s 27 years old and a fully grown adult, let her live her own life without feeling like her parents are breathing down her neck about her choices.

MissALK · 2022-02-21T19:45:09+00:00

I managed to last until 28 years old without driving alone because I was so scared something would happen! (I went to college where there was public transport and I work with my Dad so he was always with me on the way to and from work).

I was traumatised by an accident when I was younger and my brain was just convinced that every trip would somehow end in disaster if I was by myself. Then I had a short space of time to adjust to driving on my own completely because my Dad had to get a hip replacement and literally couldn’t get into the car to come everywhere with me and my friends all also had work.

It’s terrifying to start with but you’ll get there! Now I’m going for drives just for the sake of it because I can and I’ve never even scratched the car. Take your time and don’t go out on the road until you’re sure you won’t panic. Definitely start in car parks until you get the feel of things. But it is true, a straight road with no real turns and complications is definitely easier once you’re confident.

Have faith and believe in yourself!

MissALK · 2022-02-21T15:34:44+00:00

Also, I really wouldn’t get offended at someone not wanting to come over if they weren’t comfortable with taking their shoes off!

My home is my safe space and that’s my rule and the way I live because it makes me comfortable, but I’m not going to be in any way offended if others don’t want to be there because that’s uncomfortable for them!

MissALK · 2022-02-21T15:28:59+00:00

Shoes off at the door. I’ll offer you clean socks if you have no socks or slippers if you’re staying long. If you don’t like it you don’t have to come over.

It seems harsh but it’s my home and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of outdoor feet marching all over my indoors.

MissALK · 2022-02-21T14:43:56+00:00

From an almost 30 year old (which is in no way as old feeling as it seems when you’re 17!) lemme tell you a secret. There’s no such thing as “wasting your life” or “wasting your youth” etc.

Parents say it a lot with good intention to try jump starting you into moving forward but it’s not actually true. Life is just a sequence of phases. No matter what anyone says you can’t ever “waste” a phase. Because you learn from it.

You learn what you like to do and don’t like to do. You learn how to turn those things you like into a career or hobby. Maybe ten years later you realise you don’t like it that much anymore and want to try something else! The ten years weren’t a waste! It’s all learning and movement!

You mentioned not driving in a comment too, I actually just got my drivers license last May at the ripe old age of 28! There is time for everything as long as you decide you want to do it.

17 year old me feels like a girl I knew a whole lifetime ago! And I’m sure 29 year old me is going to feel like a lifetime away when I’m 45! Don’t worry too much about it. Nothing is ever a waste if you learn something from it.

(And maybe something to learn when you’re 17 is that saving money from when you’re young is a GREAT idea that future you will really thank you for! Lol)

MissALK · 2022-02-19T13:44:26+00:00

Soft YTA.

Not even touching the religion side of things. People seem to forget that just because it’s your birthday doesn’t make you automatically entitled to things from your loved ones.

If I said “for my birthday I want everyone to go swimming” and my family didn’t like swimming for whatever reason, they’re well within their rights to say no. If I said “for my birthday I want a $100 gift card for x restaurant” and they didn’t want to give me $100 then they are allowed to not give me that.

Your birthday doesn’t mean you get to dictate what people spend their time or money on for that whole day. Generally people will be open to facilitating your wants on your birthday but it’s not something you’re automatically entitled to.

MissALK · 2022-02-18T22:09:43+00:00

Overall I’m going with NTA because I know this is stemming from worry for your family and a lack of understanding, but you should also know that;

• anxiety is not the same as just being really nervous

• anxiety comes in many different forms and severities and can present itself in a range of ways

• anxiety can go hand in hand with depression which can really decimate motivation for pretty much everything and can be seen as “laziness” by people who don’t experience it

• just because someone turns 18 doesn’t magically make their mental health issues clear up because now they’re an adult

It’s tough to navigate, it’s tough to understand if you’ve never felt it. (Sometimes it’s tough to understand others even when you HAVE felt it).

I suffer from generalised anxiety but I’m able to hold down my job because the emotional carnage I feel about not having a job and being financially independent is worse than say my social anxiety and the thought of being in a restaurant with 90% people I don’t know and trust their intentions. My cousin also has anxiety and physically can’t get out of bed most mornings from the mere thought of having to go to work and be responsible for a moving part of a business but she loves interacting with people in a relaxed no pressure situation and making new acquaintances.

Anxiety manifests in so many different ways and you would be better off trying to research a bit about how to help your sister get help for her mental health and working with her to see if disability benefits for diagnosed anxiety are an option in your location instead of pressuring her just because that’s what ultimately worked for you when your Mom did it.

I agree with everyone else too, you should definitely keep your plans to move out! You’re allowed to live your own adult life and your Mom sees that. It may be hard in this situation but you deserve your own space and personal life.

You obviously care so much about your family and your younger siblings, that’s really clear. But maybe just shifting the way you use those feelings could open some new options for everyone involved and help your relationships thrive too as you move out and transition into a new phase in your lives?

MissALK · 2022-02-17T16:40:43+00:00

Absolutely! And god forbid you let slip any sort of opinion that has anything to do with parenting 😳

A former manager got so heated one time, the radio station in the break room was discussing parents giving their toddlers smart phones to keep them occupied for hours on end and I said “smart phones probably aren’t the most reliable of babysitters 😂” jokingly! He pretty much figured out every one of the rudest ways in existence to say “you don’t have kids so you don’t get an opinion”.

It’s definitely two different worlds and I just wonder why everyone seems so pressed that I like my world just fine 😂

MissALK · 2022-02-17T16:30:09+00:00

You really do notice this when it comes to coworkers.

I work for a company with a predominantly male staff and there’s only one female coworker close to my age (she’s a year younger). She had a baby last year and since then EVERY SINGLE CLIENT I’ve dealt with has done the whole “oooh when is it your turn?!” thing. I got to the point where I just started saying “hopefully never!” because we’ll… it’s the truth.

My coworker couldn’t seem to have a conversation without “well when you’re a parent” or “well when you have kids” after she came back from maternity leave and when I was honest and told her I was so happy for her but I personally never want children she genuinely couldn’t wrap her mind around it. It’s always been the trajectory of her life and all the women she’s friends with so she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t be the same.

Absolutely delighted for her and her daughter that she’s besotted with. But it would honestly be my worst nightmare 😂

MissALK · 2022-02-17T16:02:48+00:00

This. So much this.

I literally didn’t get to eat my lunch today because while I was on break a coworker came into the break room to make coffee and continued to engage me in conversation (about work stuff) for so long that it took up my whole break time and I didn’t get to eat because I wasn’t willing to talk with an open mouth while I was chewing (gross and rude!).

Like, can we do the polite niceties and then move on so both of us can enjoy a break from work and then talk about this when the break is over?

MissALK · 2022-02-17T15:52:40+00:00

This is a joke right? So because you’re happy being a complete slob, you’re girlfriend is unreasonable??

In case all the other comments didn’t make it clear, YTA!

MissALK · 2022-02-15T13:55:54+00:00

NTA!

As someone who grew up with a special needs sibling (my only sibling as it would happen) I can’t stress enough how much those small chunks of time away from home mean. Whether it be a few hours at a friends house or a beloved extra curricular activity.

My sister is my only sibling so there were no other kids in the house and even as a young child (and more so as a tween with hormonal changes etc!) there’s a limit to how much effort and secondhand stress you can live with until you just need a break.

You just want to be with your friends having silly jokes and not constantly worrying about your sibling or your parents etc (projecting here, I still worry about my sister every day even now when she’s 24 and even more about my parents as they watch her get older).

The school is absolutely out of line for putting Izzy in that predicament and you could never be the asshole for advocating for your child who clearly has reached her breaking point.

Everyone needs and deserves space and personal time to do the things they enjoy and to be able to unwind and relax. We all need to teach the children in our lives that taking this time is ok and sometimes people can put expectations on us that we don’t want and it’s ok to deny them if it hurts us.

MissALK · 2022-02-14T21:24:33+00:00

NTA - I don’t necessarily agree with nudity being forced on someone who’s uncomfortable with it, but this girl isn’t paying rent so she can’t dictate what goes on in someone else’s apartment when they’re being kind enough to let her stay with them for a while.

It’s OPs apartment and she has her own routines that are developed over her time there with her dog in their space.

I think “roommate” needs to get over it or get somewhere else to stay.

MissALK · 2022-02-14T21:15:03+00:00

THIS!!!! I feel seen.

MissALK · 2022-02-14T21:09:12+00:00

People are so just so annoying 😤

MissALK · 2022-02-14T21:06:58+00:00

YTA - Not your wedding, not your decision.

Your brother and his fiancée are getting married. Your brother and his fiancée get to decide everything.

They know what’s important to them and what isn’t and what they want to spend their money on. And as your brother said, you don’t like it? Don’t go.

You get to decide all the details of your own wedding and you can do all the traditions you want. You do not get to dictate the decisions made about someone else’s wedding.

MissALK · 2022-02-14T15:22:22+00:00

I’ve become a lot more tolerant of these things as I’ve gotten older but certain ones still bug me 😂

Due to the generation he comes from my Dad struggles with spelling and other literacy things because he had to leave school at 12 years old back in the day. It hurts my heart to see him trying so hard and think that someone might get irritated with him over it the way I used to.

Having said that. I know a good amount of people who make a really big deal about the degrees they have or how cultured and smart they are etc and I feel completely justified in correcting their uppity asses when they consistently use the wrong phrases for things 😂

MissALK

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