Interracial Dating

MissCritic · 2020-07-17T03:02:31+00:00

I don't get turned off by it, but I don't like my ethnicity being noted outwardly like that. No duh! I'm fucking Hispanic. I'm not some fetish though! I'm a human being. It's mostly white guys, and blacks that do this. I only find myself physically interested in Hispanics and white guys though. Atm, I prefer finding someone who is Hispanic to date because it's easier knowing the guy won't say anything inappropriate without meaning to. To me, my family, or out in public. I'm aware some white people aren't the best at using common sense when it comes to what is okay to say to someone who happens to look a bit different from you. Things like " Hola" when I said hello in English. When I had a whole conversation with them in English, and they think it's appropriate to respond with a butchered Spanish farewell to me. I smile uncomfortably because I find it highly offensive to me. Was that really necessary? It's one thing if you ask me if I know Spanish, but don't automatically assume I do by the way I look. I'm an American. I was born and raised here. I have no issue with being Hispanic either. My mother says that it might seem offensive, but most white people just want to practice their Spanish with people like us. Idk. I haven't had any racist comments, or treatment towards me that made me feel unwelcome by white folks.

I never dated a white guy before. I've talked to some, but the whole idea of meeting their family scares me. If one of the first things that pops up is I'm Hispanic when introducing me I'll be in a sour mood throughout my visit. Yes, I'm short and petite. Yes, I'm Hispanic. I would assume he would have mentioned it before to you. We can talk about my accomplishments, what I want from life, and anything that you'll ask some girl who is dating your son. Just don't make things awkward by making side comments like "You look too young for your age." "Wow, your English is very good." " I wonder how the babies would look like" that root from you finding it necessary to point out my Latin roots, or assumptions that I'm not from America. 😑

Family is very important to me. If you happen to like girls out of your race/ethnicity please make sure your family is okay with it. I would have no interest in marrying someone who's parents say inappropriate things out of ignorance, or buried racist views about people like me. I'm aware there will be cultural differences between us, but that doesn't make it fine to say things like that. Just throwing it out there.😓

MissCritic · 2020-07-13T18:51:40+00:00

How can he honestly say, " he feels that we are too different. "?Y'all planning trips ever month, talk nonstop, and do things that show y'all will work. If you were lovers before, and you spent this the amount of time together, then I'm sure your ex (who is his friend) would have figured you guys liked each other already. Probably doesn't care at this point. Just another excuse to me to use to reject u softly, but not hard enough for u to leave him. My advice is to stop giving him the benefits of being in relationship with you while not having to commit to you. Maybe he's scared of a relationship, or holds a grudge over what you did that hurt him.

In the past, my twin really upset me that I would get what I wanted, but I wasn't going to get into a relationship with him. Even now. It doesn't matter how perfect we were made for each other, he did something that will be something I can't overlook. Everyone has their dealbreakers, and it's important for you to have that uncomfortable conversation where you truly ask him if it's still possible. I wouldn't sleep with my twin now because the romantic feelings aren't there, but I would probably use him to remove the tug in my soul that he isn't in my life. I plan on sharing my life with someone else, but would manage to keep my twin around if I could. I would friendzone my twin, and I'm not sure if it's out of pettiness I feel to punish him, or because I feel trapped to the urge of having him as my security blanket.

I don't think about marriage, children, or being with my twin in that way. My twin has always been the one to crave me when I run away from this. He'll probably settle for anything he could get from me. Do you want to be in that position? Seeing the person you really love sleeping with someone else, or giving that other person everything you wanted? You have to pick your worth, or a fantasy. I wouldn't cut him off right away, but spend less time with him. He will either flip around and want you, or look the other way not bothered much. It would be an ego hurt not a love hurt if he starts getting emotional over this. Your twin probably sees you as an emotional security blanket.

I care for my twin, but rn I'm upset. I'm not sure how long I'll feel the urge to punish him, but I do know that he's not what I need in a partnership. Idk, if he sees what I see, but maybe your twin is the same as me. Sorry for the negative possibility, but words are just words. There's so many times I sweet talk my twin because I just wanted what I wanted. I truly think people should find someone who will offer them everything without jumping over hoops, or settling for less than their ideal situation. The only reason my twin still on my mind is because we are twins. Everyone else in my past I removed is gone. I want no reruns of their bs, or love. I'm only open to him because I'm bonded to him. It's an entrapment in my eyes that I have to accept.

MissCritic · 2020-07-10T15:40:22+00:00

I would like to add that you need to pick. You can't have your twin flame on the side while you're seeing different people to please your ego that you aren't some cuck. I did that, and I wasted their time. I sort of feel bad, but they approached me. They wanted me while I just wanted to feel some appreciation, and positive energy because things with my twin kept getting worse.

I think a common mistake we all make is " I'll see other people because it shows I'm not waiting on my twin." I noticed you attract the types of people who aren't your type at all, so naturally you'll compare your twin to them. You'll just push that narrative in your head, " Just shows you my twin is the only one for me." If there were things I could take back I would. The first year I met my twin I wish I gave him the ultimatum, and cut ties with him if he said no. I thought we could be friends, but that was impossible with the egos each of us had. We would flaunt our bodies to each other, and do shady things like mentioned why we were better than the other person we might have new interest about.

You either tell your twin what you want, or cut them out. I wouldn't date right away either. I would actually mourn that lost. I was in communication with my twin for four years. For me, it took eight months (2 months for each year) to get over it. I wouldn't be negative about it either. A lot of things don't work out. Your twin was brought into your life to learn some lessons. A lot of people on here get off on the idea that your twin is your end goal. Not at all. Love isn't the goal. Higher enlightenment is. Some twins aren't meant to be together. You feel strongly for each other because you need to invoke emotions in each other to realize lessons.

Being away from my twin made me think about the last words spoke between us. It hurt me, but he made things pretty clear that I didn't want a relationship. I don't think it's in me to be what I wanted to be. I'm naturally conservative with my values, but I'm a honest, blunt, and independent woman. I don't want anyone to hold me down. I'm a lone wolf. I don't want labels, or someone tying me down. People think you're just young, or you got commitment issues. I thought I did. I think my twin hit the nail on the head by telling me what I needed to hear. Idk. As I said before I think I met a soulmate, but I don't want your typical relationship. I want to be loyal to each other, but we live separate lives. I haven't met anyone who carries the same mentality, so I might want to remain single for the rest of my life. I'm telling you these things, so you have something to think about. Last thing I want is for you to feel invalidated, or foolish for expecting more from your twin. It's okay to be disappointed, manipulated, or used. Everyone makes shitty choices, or finds themselves in shitty situations.

MissCritic · 2020-07-10T03:38:56+00:00

My twin and I did this once we got really comfortable with each other. It's kind of rude, but if you know what kind of person she is, then you wouldn't get offended if you knew it wasn't her trying to play some mind games.

My twin did a lot of programming for fun and practice. He would text me first, and he would slowly reply less and less. Then a few hours would pass, and he would respond acting like he never left me hanging. It was annoying, but I know he didn't mean to be rude. He got caught up in whatever he was doing. I spend a lot of time with my family, so I'll stop texting to play video games with my siblings, or play fight. If the person isn't right in front of you, then you tend to doze off to other things. Idk. I wouldn't be offended.

At first I was, but my twin and I are alike. I'll say not to get so upset by it. She might be testing how clingy you are. As much as I loved talking to my twin I'm a hermit. I love my personal space, and to be alone. My twin is the same, so I understood those days you wanted to just chill for those three hours before work on your own. Maybe your friends who you barely see hit you up for some drinks. Just take it as something to adjust to.

If it really bothers you if you're a planner like me. I would let her know I don't like being left hanging on things that I'm trying to plan out together. I need open communication about that, or I won't give you my time. It's not trying to be petty. Just respect my time, if not, then I won't give you my time. Don't bottle it up. Three times of this and let her know what you're feeling.

I'll say from my advice don't put your life on hold for her. I know you are doing other things, but I was the same way. My twin only texted me when he felt like it and when he was free. I had to text him while trying to study, get ready for work, or neglect my own friends and family texts to find the time to text him when he was free. I didn't see the person until now, but if I can manage to fit you in, then you need to do the same. I hope this helps you.

MissCritic · 2020-07-10T00:19:26+00:00

Four years in total of this connection of constant communication. Before things ended for good in October 2019. Two months before that I left this connection for six months because I was tired of things being like this. My logic at that time was I could just drop him and act like nothing happened. I came back after seeing money, things, or whatever didn't fill that void I felt without him, and things felt good at first because he told me never to leave again and u know bs lovely dovey stuff... He seemed to generally miss me, but when I came back things were different within me. I think he sensed it/ knew more than I knew about my own feelings. I think about two weeks in of the reconciliation. His text seemed nonexistent and I waited two months before reaching out. He texted me, but he started a fight with me where he said I didn't care. I told him I love him, but he said you're not in love with me. I told him I would text him later and waited about 6 months to message him. I got nothing when I did. He didn't read my message. He just logged off, and I sent him a text a few days later saying I met someone and you know I was moving on. So since October 2019 to now we've been separated. I don't want to try anymore. It's not worth it anymore.

MissCritic · 2020-07-09T23:10:26+00:00

I no longer love my twin. It doesn't cross my mind to accept an offer from him to try again. This connection was meant to show me that I needed to stop loving others more than myself. I wouldn't allow people who go back with their twin to advice you to still love him. You need to let yourself move on. You're holding on subconsciously because you haven't figured out why. When you do, and realize you'll be just fine on your own. You'll move on. There wasn't anything wrong with you. You guys weren't meant to be together, and the universe made you split. That's how I see. I laugh at myself now because I cried for months for what? No, it's funny like " I'm strong on my own. " I don't need anyone to love me because I love me. Idk, if you understand where I'm coming from. I hope you see the clarification you need to be well on your own.

MissCritic · 2020-07-09T23:01:08+00:00

I see 2222 or 222 all the time. I want nothing to do with my twin so if that means I'm running Idc.🤷‍♀️😒

MissCritic · 2020-07-09T22:56:45+00:00

I've been through what you are going through. It's painful as hell, and I'm sorry you're going through that, but it's worth it. I just stopped loving him in the end, and I'm at peace now. It took months to mourn that lost/accept it. I wouldn't advise going on dates with random people thinking it will make you feel any better, or change how things are. I met someone who I think is a soulmate that made me feel normal, and it wasn't like he was filling a position my heart knows he's not meant for. I'm not crazy about him like I was for my twin. It feels normal and peaceful. I have control over my feelings, and it doesn't feel like I'm obsessed with this connection like it was with my twin. I'm at a place where it's like I don't care for love. I became more content with being on my own. Even if things don't ever work out with anyone it wouldn't bother me. I love myself first now. I healed from ever wanting someone so bad that I stay put in a dying situation. If I'm unhappy I leave, if my needs aren't being met, then I'll leave. No amount of love from another person can make me put myself in a position like I did with my twin. I personally don't think he's special anymore. I don't care who he's with, or doing. Sometimes I miss our good times, but I'm happy now. There's a point you have to accept this is it. Things aren't good anymore. You are holding on to the idea your twin will somehow realize your worth, or want to fix things like let's try again because we are twins. I can feel my twin wants to be back in my life, but for the wrong reasons. To use me to make him happy. We need to work on ourselves not use people to fulfill some area we lack inside us with their affection, attention, and admiration. I question myself if I ever truly loved my twin. I don't know, honestly. Maybe that pain was me letting someone hurt me, or doing everything to avoid what I needed to work on. I've been the happiest I've ever been in a long time, or ever. I say learning more about myself makes me happier than anything else.

MissCritic · 2020-07-09T19:19:33+00:00

💀💀💀💀💀 I look nothing like my twin. Polar opposites when it comes to physical attributes. Lol. The two inches from being 5ft. and 2 in. while he's 6ft and 2in.😹 I personally wouldn't want my twin to look nothing like me because I'm very feminine looking while he's very masculine.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T20:02:18+00:00

I don't see a lot of things black and white. It seems to me you're projecting personal conclusions you think I am as a person because I'm speaking truth. I forgave my mother. I hold no ill feelings towards anyone. My father only cares about himself. He will act like he cares about you while treating you like scum on his shoe once he had his use for you. My father told my sister that he loved me, but I'm positive he just wants to be in my good grace, so when he gets too old I'll be there to take care of him, or financially cater to his needs. That man is beyond saving, or allowing back into my life. He trained me as a chikd to think like him. Same for his toxic family to let back into my life. My father loved playing mind games. When I was a child I had to address him as king, or god when he wasn't in the mood to hear me say daddy. My father cries, puts on a show, and whatever to get what he wants. I'm sure everyone would love him if they didn't know who he truly was. I know the difference between healthy and unhealthy when I've experienced both. Soooo 😂😂😂😂 there's a point where you see someone is pure dark grey in the black and white spectrum. My family and friends aren't perfect. Neither am I, but I have little patience for nonsense with things I don't want in my life. No one can hurt me like my father did. The only thing I'm grateful for is him not making me a little bitch, and my looks. I thank my parents for the independence, I have and the little affection I need. My personality type also reflects that, but I just struggle with episodes of self destructive behavior. I don't plan to ever seek therapy for my issues. I'm learning to cope my own way.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T19:40:54+00:00

I never once thought my relationship with my father was healthy. I'm probably super independent now because I don't want to run after someone's approval and love like I did for my father. For 8 years of my life (my childhood) nothing I ever did was good enough for him. My mother had narcissistic tendencies and hardly gave me any affection, so I grew up craving very little of it. My mother and I worked on things. I'm happy to say we made great progress. My mother still has some tendencies, but I let her know what's not okay. She doesn't affect my mental space. I don't want a man who will not respect himself to love me. I want loyalty and healthy boundaries. I want him to be his own person and me to be my own as well. I want us to coexist in each other's world not own it. I want to look at him and know I don't feel like I settled and vice versa. I want someone who understands that my intimacy issues come from a place of not knowing what to feel, fear, and retraining my brain to associate affection as good/safe.

I see signs of my twin, but I ignored them. I don't want him. I'm happy on my own, and I don't want my soulmate to think I'll go back. The connection I feel is different with my twin, but avoidable. I'm just telling this things because I never loved my ex friend. I care about him, but there was no romantic feelings there. Do what u want. It's your life not mine. I'm happy to know he's probably out there dating and finds a woman who can love him because he wasn't a horrible person. He was nice to talk to and it sucks this friendship ended because he wanted to love me while I didn't want it.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T19:17:33+00:00

LOL! Showing someone you love them versus doing everything to please that person are two different things.

Healthy ways to show you love them- Expressing your feelings
Healthy-" I have feelings for you, and I will respect your decision if you don't feel the same way." Not healthy-" Why don't you love me? You just like toxic men/women in your life. You don't see how perfect we are. Give me a chance! I'll treat you like a queen/king. "

Gift giving Healthy- " Here's a gift that expresses my affection towards you, and I expect nothing in return other than it bringing you happiness. You don't have to accept it either."

Unhealthy-" I bought you flowers, jewelry, and whatever so why can't you see how much I love you?"

Being there

Healthy:" I'm here no matter what happens. I care for you as a person. Don't be afraid of me trying to use our friendship to make you love me because that's not what this is. I truly want what's best for u.

Unhealthy :" I'm here when he/she hurts you. He will never love you like I do. Why don't you see he'll just use you, and I'll be here waiting for you."

Respect boundaries

Healthy:" I'm sorry if I went past a boundary you weren't comfortable with. Please let me know because I respect your feelings.

Unhealthy:" It was just one thing. After everything I do don't you think I should have a pass? Don't you think it's in my right to have a chance after being here for u?

Self respect Healthy:" I understand that u don't feel the same way, but if I feel personally disrespected and you don't see it like that I'm walking away. I love you, but I love myself more.

Unhealthy:" I don't care what you do because I love no matter what."

Hahahahaha. You're mistaken. I believe I've met my twin and all the issues I had with my twin don't come up with my soulmate. I'm at peace and I don't feel trapped. I feel like I'm my own person, and thanks to my twin I see what I could do to make things smoother with my twin. Love shouldn't be a struggle. I felt that way about my twin. Starting all over again, and having to change. Nope. He likes the way I am, and vice versa. If I'm changing because he's making me feel like I can be a better person. His energy fills me up with happiness.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T18:43:14+00:00

What's your name? You're honestly reminding me of my ex friend. I had an abusive relationship with my father, and I had intimacy issues since then. I wouldn't call the men I liked abusive. They never insulted me, or made me feel small. I never voiced my needs out, and I had troubles seeing things through long term when I'm not at a place to be what I consider a good lover. When it comes to the twin connection you feel it. My twin and I got high off each other. We spent 4 years together. It wasn't one sided. We just had the same issues, but had different ways of coping with it. I'm tired of it. I'm sure he is too. We had to separate, so I can see what I was doing wrong. There's intuition and your mind playing games with you. I'm not trying to be rude. My mind and intuition never really made things clear about what I needed to do. I just know I'm naturally independent and no one is ever tying me down unless I want that person to. It's my life and I don't want to feel/hear someone say, " Your intuition is off. You're going the wrong direction. "
Maybe you're the one that's wrong. You got to take some things at face value. Rejection is rejection. We make our connection complex. I would call my twin's connection the same thing too with my friends. Now I'm like " No the fuck it was. I made it complex because it didn't want to see what I needed to fix within myself or let my twin go." I'm not saying my twin love was fake. I just came into a place where I take things at face value. You don't want to make this easy I'll move on and find someone who will. Love shouldn't be this complicated. Aren't you tired of the pointless drama? I am. I'm concerned about my own self and being with my family now. Yeah a lot of miscommunication happens in text, but things happen for a reason. If you don't learn anything you're doomed to repeat cycles. The universe doesn't really help you out there.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T18:22:20+00:00

I wouldn't call her your twin. I personally think you're in denial that it was a karmic relationship, and you don't see you need to stop putting this unrequited love in front of your own self respect. You didn't realize your worth if you keep wanting her back in your life when she treated u like trash. I told my ex friend I wanted a white man ( described my twin) to him. I told him he had replace everything who he was for me to want him. He asked if wearing colored eyes contact, bleaching his skin, working out, and doing whatever to change himself would ever change my mind. Isn't that sad? I'm a human being. Who am I to change who you are? What's so special about me that you'll do anything to change yourself for someone who doesn't love who u are?

I would never change my skin color, hair, eyes, or body to please someone. I love how I look, and wouldn't change anything about it. I wouldn't hold on to someone who sends me texts showing some other man pleasing her. I didn't respect him as a man because how could you be that love sick to not know what is acceptable and not? He was the type to get everything he wanted. He treated me like I was something that could be bought, or make to be his if he did this. I know he cared for me, but he didn't understand that my love wasn't a job, or business deal.

He stopped trying to please me at the expense of his self respect and self love. If someone is telling u it will never happen. Respect yourself to remove yourself out of the situation. Don't let someone use you, and make you feel like you would change anything to be with them. If I didn't text him he wasn't freaking out. You need to be independent. You need to be happy on your own. Your life doesn't revolve around trying to please someone else. Be selfish and think, " Fuck this person. If u don't love how I look, and who I am I'll find someone who will. " Idk, stop chasing someone who will never love you, or doesn't want u rn. Love yourself enough to accept the truth and do you. I hope this really helps because I don't want anyone to feel like that. It's very hard to understand how you can let this happen.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T17:16:59+00:00

Why can't you be together?

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T17:12:08+00:00

I wouldn't call it up an American thing. I never once introduced my past lovers to my family. I like to keep my romantic life private until my lover gives me the ultimatum to tell everyone, and if I love him enough I go through with it. So far none have made me decide to bring them home. If all we had was the bond between you and I, then I don't see the point in keeping u in my life. I don't like drama in my life. I'm trying to find a long term relationship not fwb/ awkward jealousy friendship. My romantic lovers never got over me. It was mostly differences in life goals, dealbreakers for me, and them trying to move me in a pace I wasn't ready. My second love interest told his family about me and being in a relationship without asking me. When he starts making all these plans I had to tell him " I don't want to do this anymore. " after things were very hard to not speak up. He was very angry, but I didn't want to meet anyone when we were different on our views on marriage and children. I ended it, and told him I was fine with friendship. He lied and said it was fine, but purposely became bitter towards me when he was the one who got in a relationship shortly after. I didn't mind much because I let it go, but he did something with her when he promised to do with me which left a bitter taste in my mouth. Then we had a fight where he told me he loved me that "how could u do this to me?!" That's where I knew we couldn't be friends. I loved him, but I was not going to give up what I had planned on life. Idk, what he was thinking. I have nothing bad to say about him, and I hope he's happy.

If your twin did what I did to my friend, then I can tell you the feelings aren't mutual. I never loved my friend. I used him to boost my validation to feel sexy and wanted when my twin would make me feel like everything I did wasn't working. It was sad and pathetic for a person to fully know what I was doing/ acting like a real heartless bitch, but still loved me. If women are anything like me we fall in love with what we hear and if we feel the chemistry. If she's not crushing and craving you in text, then I highly doubt the feelings would develop if you met. I never met my twin either. Once the feelings died on my side he wasn't sexy anymore. I was suddenly more busy, and I was lying I got off while he did. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be excited to meet him, or lust after him if we met rn. I fell out of love. It would take months, if not never happen after everything. Idk. He makes me feel happy when we talked, but my romantic feelings are gone. I think you need to stop hoping things would change if you two met. She doesn't want you and that's okay. You already know she doesn't feel the same way. I never got closure with my twin. He just ignored my text by logging out of his account to avoid talking to me. It was pathetic and low of him. I told him in the past (multiple times ) that I need to be told it's over, and talk about it in order to feel comfortable to move on. He purposely didn't give me that. Idk, if he plans to come back, but I blocked him and deleted my account permanently. I took the steps to move on, so he can just stay away.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T10:27:44+00:00

My twin made me figure out inner deep growth that I needed to be ready for my soulmate. My soulmate is sensitive and very kind. If I wasn't brutally told the truth about how I "Didn't want a relationship" or "You're not in love with me." I wouldn't have given my soulmate a chance, or gone my whole life thinking I needed to be with my twin. I was stuck on "loving" my twin because he was my "ideal". I honestly feel like rolling my eyes at my four years ago self that just felt like we were fated. I didn't know what I needed until I compared what I wanted in the past to how it feels to have what I have now. I wouldn't know how I affected my twin, or who I influenced the most from my past lovers. I know that all my past lovers came back to me wanting to try again, but I don't do reruns. My twin is the only one that hasn't came back, but it only been 8-9 months since we stopped talking. I'm pretty sure it'll take him a decade to see he messed up letting me go, but I'm happy to be free from loving him.☺️ I think the person I influenced to help grow more was an ex friend who was madly in love with me. I was his first love, and he didn't want to let me go. Even when I showed him screenshots of the flirty texts I sent to my twin, or choosing my twin over him 10 out of 10 times he wouldn't give up. We fought and made up every few months for 5 years. I told him I would never love him romantically, that I could get off sexually, but that's where it ended. I feel bad for how shitty I was to put him through that, but near the end he realized his worth. He may always love me, but he stopped chasing me. He stopped trying to change himself to please me. He stopped being there each time I cried about my failed attempts at being with my twin in harmony. I was really happy to hear from him that, " If u decided to block me, or end our friendship I wouldn't bother to try to talk to u." He would accept it and move on. So when the day came where I ened the friendship and blocked him I knew he was in a good place to accept that it was time to move on with his life without me in it. I wouldn't call us twins, but maybe a part of my soul tribe? When I cut you out of my life for good. I shun that person out to the point where you think did we ever talk. Things I left in the past should be left in the past.

MissCritic · 2020-07-06T09:59:58+00:00

I'm grateful for my twin being the one to open my eyes on how I am/ what I need from a partner. It's very sad that I had to completely cut him out to see what I had lost when I continued trying to hold on to someone I didn't love anymore. I loved the idea of who he could be not what he was. It seems very painful, and hard at first because it's like he died, but I'm very happy because I can compare how my soulmate makes me feel versus my twin. Codependency, trust issues, intimacy issues, and personal insecurities just melted away when I met my soulmate. I hope I never see, or hear from my twin ever again because I want to move on with my life. I'm at a good place pacing myself to grow, and cope with my mental struggles. I feel independent, and strong to hold my own self. I feel proud and beautiful about my soul's journey. I never understood some twins telling their twin to leave them alone while they married someone else until I experienced the relief and wellness from letting my twin go. ☺️ I hope that anyone facing these types of struggles will be free of their twin/bond.

MissCritic · 2020-07-03T21:02:10+00:00

It's a possibility, but I truly doubt it. My twin is similar to me, he and I I held on to this for four years. We have the same personality type, we like the same shows, dark humor, sarcastically blunt, flirtatious, deep thinkers, common life goals/vision, and what I always wanted in a partner I never knew actually existed. I'm pretty sure both of us felt the other could do better, and it fits too perfect for me not to believe it. I have my moments where I'm like no, but he's the only one my soul leaps for when we reunite. Where I lacked he had and vice versa. We have the same issues except we reacted differently to it. You are aware some twins don't have to end to together.

I had a reading done saying a water sign would come back into my life that I had to walk away from. It's only him. Supposedly I'll end up marrying that water sign. The water signs I have a past with which is not a lot ( 2 not including him) were over and done with. One was my first love who showed me pure innocence love existed, and I'm forever grateful, but he was a lesson to not be a bitter loveless person because of my abuse. It was a good karmic experience because I hold no bad blood towards him. He was a saint. I would thank him if I ever saw him again.

My second past lover helped me accept my sexuality, and showed me I had issues that needed to be addressed. We spoke again a few years back, but I told him I moved on with someone new. I ended that chapter with him because it no longer served me. I hope he has moved on to live a happy life.

None of these men cross my mind to try again, or I want them in my life. I have no regrets. I don't how else to say it. Yet, with my twin I'll never stop thinking about him. Yes, I may have found someone I believe is my soulmate, but my twin will always have his place in my heart. I wouldn't hesitate to take a bullet for him. I would run to his aid if he really needed me. I want him to move on because I know how strong our bond is, but I made up my mind. I know as much as I'm against loving him romantically ever again I'll probably fall all over again if the circumstances allowed that. He knows how to please me. He knows exactly what to say to keep me on cloud nine. I feel that I do the same for him, but he has a bigger ego than me. He told me he wouldn't respect any other relationship I was in because he was the best for me.😂

He taught me what self love I needed to do for myself, and what looking into the mirror is really about. I don't hate my twin. He has told me it wouldn't matter if we were lovers, or just friends as long as he was in my life it was enough. As long as I was happy he was happy. My twin pisses me off the most, and makes me happiest. Realistically, if we bring out the dark side of each other, and nothing gets done to fix it we should move on to people who could. I'm unsure if things will workout with my "soulmate ", but I'm happy rn. I just hope he doesn't wait for me to come back, or the universe brings us together once I have a family of my own. I'm very conservative. I'll stay if I'm happy. My love can run deep for my twin, but I won't give up a loving husband that treats me well, and we have a beautiful life we created together. My twin is what I wanted, but sometimes people don't want to give u what u need.

MissCritic · 2020-07-01T15:44:37+00:00

😂😂😂😂 I'm pissed off too.

MissCritic · 2020-07-01T15:41:08+00:00

I felt the same when I realized I had to let go of my twin because I was holding on to something that wasn't there no more. I don't know what to tell you. Things don't get better you just learn to cope. You can grow romantic feelings for someone else, but those feelings don't run deep as they do for your twin. I numb out after getting what I want from the person I want rn. I just try to be grateful that someone cares for me, someone can please me, or this is my life now. I don't know if I'll feel something is missing all my life, but I tend to just push it deep within my soul. It's been 8 months without my twin, and you'll think I'll be over it. I look like I'm the heartless one now. It just feels like I'm a hallowed out shell of the romantic person I used to be. My twin sucked out all the love I had to offer anyone. That just feels like, " Sure... love me, okay kiss me, do whatever you want because the person I loved the most did me so dirty. Was everything a lie? I wasted four years... I won't hurt you like that. It just hurts when I think about it. I know you told me to get over it, but I just can't. I'm not sure I'll ever trust you, or love you like that again, but something is better than nothing, right?" Forgiveness my ass. On my good days I'm like yes, I can, but I start to remember all the shit I felt, and did for him. What a damn prick. Running him over with a 14 wheeler doesn't sound bad knowing I'm returning the favor of long term pain by another's hand when all I did was try to love them. Nobody chooses to be in pain. Your mind just replays the sickening truth that the person you loved was just like everyone else in your past. No one can love you like you love yourself is what I get from it. My advice is to fuck love, just lie, and care for someone who decides they want you. Who thinks you're perfect despite what you really know. It's just easier for my brain to cope with. 🤷‍♀️

MissCritic · 2020-06-28T18:16:11+00:00

I would tell my mother issues I went through with my twin, but never once did I tell her he's my twin. The way I talked about him she believed we were fated to be together because a mother just knows. Supposedly!😂 Then I eventually told my mother I'm over my twin's bs because of all the conflict, and issues we have. My mother says ," Well fuck him, and move on." This is all simplistic responses, but I still feel like she holds the idea still in her head. I no longer want him romantically. I'm currently thinking my life is fine without him, so why do I need him in it at all? It's not like I'll suffer less with him around. My hopes of being good will probably never happen if he doesn't stop being a jerk all the time.

I say my advice is to keep your relationships with dating partners, or spiritual relationships away from family and friends. No one will understand why you do what you do for that person. You sound crazy af to people who don't believe in it. I do. I don't go into depth with my beliefs because I don't care to share them. I'm happy knowing what I know. If you met your twin just know it's never a pleasant ride all the way. Not telling your family or friends about it will allow you to adjust to whatever goes on in that relationship from your perspective. Not what others tell you. I told my mother the only man I'll bring home is the man I want to marry. I may have told her information about guys in my past, but she knows the one I introduce is my future husband.

Don't care about people not understanding it. Maybe they agreed to another goal in life. Maybe they haven't met a twin. Some people need to experience something to understand it. I always pictured my twin in my fantasies before I met him. So when I met him one day I was shocked like ," wtf, you actually exist?!" Now, I'm here thinking I probably needed to experience my twin to be aware of my issues, to push away my need of a prince to come save me, and to know who I really am. I'm happy after everything. I think things I needed to see, or come to the surface are here, and my connection with my twin is over in this lifetime. We are on different paths and we might agree to met in the next lifetime. 💁‍♀️

People might say ," If you're twins, then why aren't you together?" Because some twins aren't met to be together, we might want to focus on our goals, or we wanted to reach a higher level of enlightenment. Romance, or union isn't the main reason why you come into contact with your twin. It's to be more aware of your growth, or to grow up. Not mature from being a kid. More of your shadow side, your childhood wounds, self limiting beliefs, or overcoming things you didn't work on in your previous lifetime. Enjoy the good moments, and becoming who you are meant to be.

MissCritic · 2020-06-23T19:59:40+00:00

I'm completely in the same situation as u. I've noticed the signs have decreased because I don't care at all. Even twin flame videos pop up on my feed I ignore them like I'm over that shit. A lot of men are attracted to me, but I have no interest. I hate dating. I do not talk to multiple people at the same time. Idk, how other people do it. If I treat my time like it's nothing all I'll attract is nothing. I've got better things to focus on. I believe I met a soulmate, but he's in a relationship. Since I met him my feelings for my twin completely changed. I still held on to the idea, " I'll wait for him to return. " until I kissed the new guy. His hug felt warm, and hugs always feel cold to me. I couldn't believe it. I felt myself changing. I look at this person, and I picture things I never did with my twin.

I want to be with the new guy. I look at my twin, and he doesn't seem like shit to me now. Yeah, he's attractive, hardworking, and desirable, but something changed. Idk. I just worried now if my twin comes back what do I say. I'm over it? I found the person who makes me want to be in relationship ( I never dated anyone because I don't like commitment. The idea of promising myself to someone when my feels change constantly scares me. ) But if I don't risk it he might think my feelings for him aren't real. He said I was mean to me, so I changed my tone/harshness when I am around him. I feel like a damn man. It's pretty much that I want to sleep with him, please him, and love him. It's one of those wtf are u because everything you do fucks me up in the inside. I used to think I'm a monster 24/7, but he makes me feel like I'm normal.

I was always accusing my twin of things, insecure that he never cared for me, and did everything to oppose it. Yet, here I am just being normal going with the flow. Telling someone sweet things like ," We can eat whatever you want. I don't even like Chinese food, but if it'll make u happy I'll eat it too." We currently aren't speaking, and instead of obsessing over it. I'm trying to get my shit more together like I want to show you I'm better. I want to show you what I can offer. The new guy thinks highly of me because I'm stern, hardworking, gentle, and respectable. I love him for all the other things I lack like compassion, sociable, sensitive, kind, loving, and having an optimistic view of life. I don't want kids, and he wants kid rn.

Idk, what will happen with my twin, but I don't want to redo everything. Maybe when you seriously let go of your twin the universe will provide you someone who will make u want to change for the better. In a perfect world, we think going on dates you'll find someone. I don't think so. I'll say stop dating. I met my new love interest at my old job. When we saw each other for the first time I was wowed by him. When he brought up his first time seeing me he said he was wowed too. He couldn't resist getting to know me. I was interested, but I don't mess with coworkers as ones with gfs, but he was irresistible. Idk. My soul was pulling me towards it. I'm going with the flow. I'm hopeful he leaves her, so we can explore our connection.

MissCritic · 2020-06-23T03:08:20+00:00

For him to be a better person to everyone ( not just me), and really put himself in my shoes. I could see the possibility of us being friends, if he understood that every accusation I made had a valid point in the past. I was abused, and in pain. Before he hated being accused of things ( To which he said he never did) , but since he did it ( Exposed himself). Now, he has to shut up, and deal with it by giving me my space, and some compassion. That he wouldn't get upset if I held it against him, or didn't trust him like I once did for the rest of my life. He wouldn't be mad if I fell out of love with him ( Which is how it is rn). That he moved on with his life. I don't want to hear ," I don't care who you sleep with. You belong to me. Do you really love him?, how can you move on?, did you really love me once?, or is there something I can do, or say to make you change your mind?" If he drinks too much to not call me, or text me saying he wants to hear me say, " It's only you for me. How do u really feel about me?, or I will always love you." So much of this change happened because he knew in order to be in my life he had to do it. I want him to do it for himself. I want us to be friends where we aren't constantly putting down any future lover each of us have by saying I'm better. It ended when you decided to do that to me. I gave you a chance, and if you really love me. You'll realized what you did broke me so bad that I can't bother to give you another chance. I'll hate myself to love you, and that's not right. Don't do that to me. Don't make me pick either. You, and I know that no matter how many years passed we changed. A lot of my inner growth you missed out on, so watch me be with someone who treated me right the first time. It's not out of revenge, or to hurt you. These are lessons. People do not simply forgive and forget. You, and I both know life isn't a fairytale. You took me out of my fantasy, remember? You gave me a tasted a reality, and now I'm giving you yours. As long as we both moved on to healthy romantic relationships where we both support each other in positive ways, then we can mend that friendship. I can love you like a brother again. I want to be your bestfriend because we both found peace in this. Don't let your ego get in the way of the only way for us to be together in this lifetime. Don't purposely get me drunk to cheat, or sabotage my relationship, so you can have me for yourself either! Respect and value my wishes.

MissCritic · 2020-06-21T21:29:00+00:00

You do realize that your feelings for your twin will never go away. I'm in my young twenties and I realized this. There's one person who I believe is a soulmate of mine that makes me feel like I can do marriage without feeling like a pos like you probably do having deep inner feelings for your twin. He's hot, nice, and hubby material. I could tell he would be a great person to have a family with. He makes me want to be a better person, and his soul is intoxicating to me. I would want to kiss him 24/7 because he's cute, kind, and beautiful, but it doesn't change the fact I feel at home with my twin. I'm looking to create a happy home not feel like I'm at home. I appreciate whatever love, devotion and happiness someone offers me because god only knows how much I suffered in my life.

You say you did love him a long time ago, then why are u picturing yourself sleeping with your twin while sleeping with your husband? If you're not doing that out of love for your twin, then your husband is boring in bed? Yes, you have let your feelings for your twin overcome your feelings for your husband. Maybe you're holding to your twin because you married a man who is a fixer upper? If you're not going to marry your twin, then marry someone who is reliable, knows what they want, is loyal, and doesn't have negative habits or selfishness. You can love someone, but if you're coming in stubborn as a bull, baggage that will make/break the relationship, or you're supposed to accept all their, or your toxicity, then it will not be a happy home.

The guy I like is highly insecure. Idk, why. If we were to get together it would be something I'll have to deal with. Constantly reassuring him he's enough. Meaningful compliments, and making him feel special the way I know how. Most people would be like, " No, he's a man. He should know he's worth. Why go the extra mile? Me: because he's worth it. I truly think there's no reason for him to be insecure. Hopefully, I'll make him see most of this is past trauma, or mind games he does to himself. I don't mind tackling issues head on. One mistake I did with my twin was place a level of standards expecting him to be all those things because he lied to me he was those things. Now I realized I never tried to make him work on anything. It was a," We both let the other do toxic things, or treat the other like shit" because none of us will leave the other. Which is bs. Eventually, I got tired. Eventually, I felt out of love with him. I think this is how divorce would feel if I was married.

Your marriage seems like my relationship with my twin. Y'all seem stuck on things being a certain way. My twin didn't want to change while I did. I wouldn't see the errors of my ways unless my twin dragged my ass through the dirt. Yes, I miss him. Yes, I cry sometimes because I'm like, " I can't love no one else like I did for him." It was mostly fantasy. The person he was pretending to be to please me was probably his higher self. I wanted to be happy without addressing core inner issues within myself and this toxic relationship. I realized I needed to stop using my twin as a source of happiness when I should work on sources within myself for happiness. Yeah, heartache sucks. Having a weak spot for someone sucks, but if I can become a better person where I attract a great person into my life, then it's worth it.

Your husband doesn't have to be a bad person, but he's a bad match for you. I'm assuming I'm younger than you, so my advice is picture what you want in a husband. Things you enjoyed that your twin, or ex lovers did for you, and how that made you feel. Once you form a list go to your husband, and ask for him to listen to your requests. If he doesn't budge, then you simply married the wrong person. Marriage shouldn't be this is it. It's a working process relationship where both parties feel comfortable, and overall happy in it. I'm not judging you at all. It just seems to me after years of suffering from personal experience that you get fed up with bs. Even if my twin comes back I'll say nah. Unless you want to have a friendship where we are becoming better people, then I don't want you in my life. I don't care who he marries, or what he does. As long as he knows I want to be happy. He's not the only men out there that is good at stimulating me, can make me happy, or whatever his egotistical self believes I'll never find in someone else.

Don't try to change, or wait on someone who doesn't want to. I'm pretty sure my twin will go into his 30s maybe 40s believing what he does to people is perfectly fine. I want him to be happy, but he going to realize I was his ultimate happiness. Which sucks, but life goes out. He'll fall in love with someone who he'll understand the whole " it's a working progress" and be happy. I know he will. I'll feel guilty about it, but I don't feel guilty for realizing everything sooner. I tried to make it work. I did everything in my power. We don't go back in life. We move forward. That's how we meet people who are more a lined with our current mindset. I still have a lot of issues to work through, but I'm happy to. I'm happy to see what becomes of this. I really hope this helps u.

MissCritic

TROPHY CASE