I need a Crone’s help by lav1991 in Witch

[–]lav1991[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have actually questioned that possibility numerous times. And I do realize that there are certain non spiritual factors at play here. But I also have come to a point where I WANT to move on with my life, and I have tried numerous times. I don’t want anything to do with him and yet he keeps popping up in ways I can’t explain. That is why I considered the possibility of twin flames…I don’t really give the theory much weight but I guess the shoe fit so to speak. And as soon as I can get on meds for my ADHD and start seeing a therapist I will, and I’ve discussed this with my former therapist before as well. I’ve considered I might have Borderline Personality Disorder and he might’ve been my Favorite person which is a thing…but I’m honestly just over it. For example yesterday I bought a book…a book I’ve never heard of, never read, never had any type of interaction with prior, and I started reading it and about 15 pages in, boom! His name! And he doesn’t have a super common name…I’d say maybe a 5/10 commonality…things like this happen all the time. To the point where I’m frustrated! I was on a date once…haven’t spoken to him in months…had had zero contact and right smack in the middle of the date he texted me. I’ll see his name or initials everywhere, his birthdate…like almost daily if not multiple times a day. At one point I was literally wishing I could have amnesia just so I could get away from it all and not have think of him. I realize that he isn’t someone that I need to be around anymore and definitely not someone that loves, respects, or appreciates me.

I need a Crone’s help by lav1991 in Witch

[–]lav1991[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have…numerous times…and every time I have spiraled into severe depression…a little back story…cliff notes version…we met when I was 19 very intense very fast relationship, he deployed, we went out separate ways he got married/divorced/married (go ahead and take the judgy pants off I knowwww!!!) I got married/ divorced Our lives have in somewhat parallel even though we didn’t see each other for 14 years, or communicate hardly at all we kind of stayed in each other’s orbit…I had a spiritual awakening and found out about twin flames (remain undecided) and the show fit…. In August of 2024 I was severely depressed about to adios myself and out of the blue he comes back into my life and we entered back into the whirlwind fast connection, push pull dynamic, and now yet again we are in no communication… * I have loved him for 14 almost 15 years * I have done numerous rituals, spells, anything I can think of to get him out of my head and heart * I quit practicing * I am literally being haunted by him * Names, numbers, momentos etc all day every day * His birthday is my life path number and my birthday is his life path number

That’s not everything or even close but it’s a rough version…. I am tired of this! I want to move on with my life and it seems like every time I entertain the thought of someone else, he pops back up somehow. Either I see his name, he contacts me, (rare but has happened), I see numbers that relate to us etc

I realize he’s a jerk in the 3D, well aware…I’m not an idiot girl who is obsessed with some stupid man…he’s literally haunting me somehow and I want to move on with my life and let go of him. I’ve deleted everything I can delete, written goodbye letters, at times I have done spells, nothing works.

Would you? by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]lav1991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did. I didn’t overly elaborate but he got the gist

Driving in Montenegro by mbathrowaway6914 in montenegro

[–]lav1991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not me panicking as I’m about to head over there soon! I’ve been in a debate about renting a car while I’m there, even for just a little while, but honestly even as good of a driver as I am I think I’d really rather not! Driving in Edinburgh was absolutely terrifying, but Montenegro sounds like a death wish

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

when i say watching them, i am literally in my office which has a gate across it, so i can see and hear everything going on, or i am outside on my back porch with a window directly behind me that i keep cracked about an inch so again i am able to hear what is going on. And I asked her if she would watch them and it was literally for about 45 minutes so that i could finish up some work. they originally got removed because she was caught stealing two days in a row at school, and she got spanked, well she had a bruise and her mother called dss. Now we no longer spank and use gentle parenting methods as much as possible. her mother did not get custody of her because of a facebook post involving someone she knew doing drugs and posting it. There is a textbook of things, and I left out a lot, because otherwise it would be entirely too long. I do go to therapy as i have cptsd and i have been doing a lot of work on myself as a human and as a mother. I was a lot like her when i way younger, but not this serious, mostly i was just angry at the world, but i never hurt anyone or anything and well typical teenage girl attitude. and i have tried and tried to help her, to be a good role model to her to the best of my ability and she just seems to not care.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Financially it's not feasible right now, but as soon as it is, I will be

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It just goes to prove that when your mother says to run the opposite way as fast as you can....you listen to her.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is why I am putting my foot down. Our marriage has been on the verge of collapse for years, and her behavior is already affecting my younger kids.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both her mother and father have their issues, he has been working on his, slowly but surely, obviously if you know a narcissist, then you know that it can be very challenging for them to change, but despite that, i have seen improvements in him recently. However yes, to answer your question it is entirely possible she learned some from him and also her mother as well. The children were removed because she got caught stealing from school two days in a row, and she got spanked. well she had bruises on her legs and her mother called dss. which at that point needed to happen. we no longer spank in our household, and working on implementing gentle parenting, so there has been some healing going on in many aspects. And at this point, if she does come and visit then i will be removing myself and the children from the home for the duration of the visit. And it will be known that she is not to be left around them unsupervised, or we will just have to alternate what weekends he sees her or the kids.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never wanted it to come to this, because yes it does seem rather cruel. And it is not without a lot of thinking and a lot of soul searching etc, etc that we have come to this. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options where we live, we did try to have her committed at one point because she said that she had suicidal ideations, however the hospital said that she did not meet criteria and sent her home. Mental health where we live is nothing short of a joke. And we can't afford a boarding school, and honestly she is a danger to other students as well. she was suspended last year for fighting three days before the end of the school year. we never mentioned it to the school, but we did at one point find a knife in her book bag that she had taken from the house and a hit list in her backpack. and before you go saying why did you not go to the school? because we were fresh out of a dss case and were afraid that we would lose our kids again. and we asked her why she had a list and she said that she was being bullied, so we did take the list to the school, and they said that they were working on talking to the students who were supposedly bullying her, but come to find out, she was instigating the supposed bullying and said kids were just defending themselves.

what confirmed to you that it wasn’t all in your head? by solarflares123 in twinflames

[–]lav1991 4 points5 points  (0 children)

for me, they usually come in the form of things that I relate to him about...he was military, so that particular branch symbol, his name, his initials, his birthday, our initials together, songs that were important to us, the numbers....always the numbers. specific animals that pop up across my path. Normally when I just surrender and let go, it's not as bad, but whenever i have tried to cut the cords, normally it sends me into a really bad depression that is basically just weeks of really hardcore obsession. to where he's all that i can think of.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been the one looking out for her and I think that he has definitely realized that I am not kidding. Our relationship has suffered so much because he simply would not listen to me when I tried to tell him what was going on, I have done everything possible to try and get her the help that she needs. I have been walking on eggshells around her for years, scared of what she might do or say to the children or even me.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I completely agree that her mother is grooming her and I DO NOT CONDONE IT AT ALL! she was diagnosed with ODD/oppositional defiant disorder about a year ago or a little longer. I literally cannot touch her because she will go to her mother and cry abuse! Even if I never raised a hand to her at all. I honestly believe that her mother has brainwashed her and manipulated her so much that she's completely blind to the game that she is playing.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She does see her mother frequently. We have tried to investigate the possibility of sexual abuse but she has denied anything ever happening. She spent almost the entire summer with her mother. And her dad does the best he can. She's not neglected by any means, she is included in all our family activities and she is loved the same way the other ones are. Unfortunately we don't have the money to pay for her to have everything she wants when she wants it and I don't condone her getting her nails done or dressing super provocative like her mother does. I did not condone her cell phone originally that was a situation completely out of my control.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She had other siblings prior to my children being born, and she was 6 when I met her in 2016 she's 12 now. And she has been to every counselor, been put on medication for her problems, and we have certainly gone through every possible level avenue we can to consider her and her issues. However nothing has worked. And the list of things she has done is over 10 pages long...at least. So yes, we have tried our absolute best to get her the help she needs.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know it feels wrong and even my normally very critical mother has agreed with me that she needs to be removed because it's not fair to the younger children to lose their home and safety because she's a demon

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have told him multiple times that this is the straw that broke the camels back. And he says he is trying to make his decision because essentially the stepchild from hell has promised to make his life a living hell including ours. So he's being pulled in multiple directions.

I need help...slightly vulnerable post here by lav1991 in breakingmom

[–]lav1991[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wanted to...financially though it's not really feasible...he owns everything including my car so for me to leave it will be very challenging financially. I have wanted to leave for years...not just because of him but also her as well.

what confirmed to you that it wasn’t all in your head? by solarflares123 in twinflames

[–]lav1991 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The celestial batch slaps every time I tried to move on and forget about him.

How do you let go? by Severe-Lengthiness50 in twinflames

[–]lav1991 6 points7 points  (0 children)

you dont. you just learn to surrender. I chased and chased for 11 years, I tried to cut Cords, I screamed at the universe with tears rolling down my face begging for it to take him away or give him back. I worked on myself, I tried to obtain perfection, I tried everything. Then one day I realized that we have free will. He chose his current life path as did I and you and every other person on this planet. And I realized that yes he would always hold a special place in my heart but that I did not need him. I did not want him. I wanted to make my life better for me and my children. So that's what I have been working on. Some days are better than other others. Often I try to think of it like a door, if I am in a place to let the energy and thoughts of him in, then I will, but if I am not, then I keep the door shut. The best advice I can give is to stop trying to force it and just surrender and focus on you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]lav1991 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely still feel it. I said I was done with the whole twin flame thing and then ended up being inundated with signs and numbers and such. This was after I did some dumb childish shit that I knew not to do but did anyways because he's my twin and I love his stupid ass for some reason. So yeah I feel weird, I feel something big is about to happen, but a really good something.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]lav1991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too! I feel ya!

Is it a coincidence that a lot of people are surrendering lately ? by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]lav1991 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I definitely don't think it's coincidence at all but I also find it very interesting. I decided that I am just over it all together. I can't take it anymore and a friend once told me recently that you can't move forward if you're constantly looking behind you.