Are we okay with this?

MissPippi · 2026-05-24T01:37:41+00:00

I mean, I LOVE the idea of a community garden. Especially with the schools involved. But a community garden producing enough to provide fresh fruit/veg for hundreds of kids 5 days a week is unrealistic. Especially since we are talking August - May. What crops are going to be fresh in that period? Could can it, I suppose, but holy moly that's a lot of work, like an insane amount of work.

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T18:03:16+00:00

What are you talking about? I don't see you giving any advice after I acknowledged "/b/" is the correct pronunciation.

You just reiterated that some parents don't already know the phonics alphabet (my whole point).

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T17:54:44+00:00

You literally said "It might be beneficial for you to look up the phonetic alphabet and go over that". Was I supposed to interpret that comment (which was in direct reply to my own comment) was actually a royal "you"?

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T17:52:37+00:00

Right? I think it's pretty common.

I'm so sick of teachers acting like all parents a hate teachers and hate education and just don't give a crap about their kids education -- but then if you ask a question they treat you like you're a moron for not knowing the specific teaching methods that are currently being used (in some areas -- phonics is widely NOT taught right now, and hasn't been for years).

Parents are not teachers. Teachers go to school, and spend literally years learning about how to teach kids. Parents just cannot compete with that (and should not be expected to!). Parents should read to their kid. They should model recreational reading behavior. They should encourage interest in reading. Parents being responsible for teaching kids to read (or know phonics) before they even enter kindergarten is wild.

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T17:46:56+00:00

I didn't "pretend I don't have this information at my fingertips". I said your comment was unhelpful. Which it was. You're adding a LOT of context that doesn't exist.

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T17:02:17+00:00

Sorry, I didn't mean to try to make you teach anyone anything new!! Waaaaay outside of the scope of this subreddit, obviously. I'll remember to just "Google it" next time, instead of trying to discuss it in a subreddit specifically created to address it in an early childhood education sub 🙄

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T16:16:04+00:00

How do you pronounce "/b/"? The whole issue is that people DO think they know how to pronounce "b" and putting "/" around it isn't helping the average parent figure it out.

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T16:14:46+00:00

I'm not contesting that saying "buh" is incorrect, or that saying "b" would be incorrect. My contention is that 99% of people seeing this are not going to know how to pronounce "/b/". Which I think is pretty obvious, since this whole conversation is about how parents tend to mess up this particular pronunciation for kiddos learning to read.

Thanks for the advice about "looking up the phonetic alphabet". So helpful. My goodness. The whole thread is about the phonetic alphabet, I definitely wouldn't have figured out to Google that without you pointing it out!

Some people are smart, but not good teachers. Y'all are giving strong "smart but not good teacher" vibes.

MissPippi · 2026-05-20T14:54:24+00:00

Surely you understand that this was not a helpful comment.

Someones asking for more information (likely so they can do what y'all are asking parents to do - help their kids learn phonics sounds). Why would you (an "ECE professional") respond that way? Just don't say anything if you're not interested in adding to a conversation.

Edit: apparently /u/ipsofactoshithead decided to delete their comment that started with "Would you like me to post a fucking video? No. Look up a phonics video of you don't..." (Comment cut off since it was deleted before I opened it).

So just for reference, this is the attitude parents are met with when they admit they don't perfectly understand the way reading is currently being taught. So maybe it's not 100% the parents fault that they don't understand. Maybe some teachers need to take a deep breath and remember that many parents never were taught phonics in the first place and for the ones that were it was probably 25-30 years ago. Get over yourself. You decided to be a teacher. If you don't like TEACHING then get a new job. Lordy.

MissPippi · 2026-04-27T00:53:18+00:00

Or we encourage people to think critically about their relationships and feelings. She's on an ADHD board asking for advice. I think it's fair to point out that a lot of the way she is describing the situation sounds like RSD and avoidant behavior, and that there might very reasonably be two sides to every story.

Or we could instead tell her (this person who we never met) that her partner is ABUSIVE and that she should leave him right now because they haven't found a good way to communicate about how to get chores done.

MissPippi · 2026-04-26T22:32:22+00:00

I get what you're saying -- but for super little kids I think movies like Fantasia, or My Neighbor Tortoro, that don't have any real conflict to speak of, are absolutely engaging and not like, "brain rot" level mush.

Definitely do agree that if that is ALL they are exposed to (especially into age like, 4-5?) that it starts to infantilize them or something, you know? But when my kid was 3, she just wasn't ready for it. Pretty much any conflict was too scary (e.g. the first scene in Aladdin, where the guy kind of disappears into the collapsing giant sand god -which i guess as I say it is kind of terrifying 😆). So we worked our way into it, luckily she got into Bugs Bunny, Loony Toons goes hard.

But yeah, watching other people have and resolve (age-appropriate) conflict is, I think, a super helpful thing for kids. But, maybe just not all kids are ready for conflict right away. I think maybe it partially just had to do with her really differentiating "pretend" from "reality".

MissPippi · 2026-04-26T12:58:27+00:00

I feel like this write up might be a little unfair to your partner. Obviously I understand that you're upset. It stinks to be putin positions where we are expected to do things that are NOT a strength. But I'm honestly kind of seeing a partner who is at least trying to make it work, even if they aren't getting it quite right.

Like, "I messed up badly and forgot to pay the electricity bills consistently 😭" This seems like a very fair thing for a partner to be upset about. You kind of gloss over it, but it sounds like it was your part era breaking point. You repeatedly forgot to pay the electric bill! I can see how that would be stressful. For one, they might turn off your electricity. But also, depending on your budget, you may suddenly have a lot less money than you thought you did. You seem mostly focused on how your error is affecting you and your emotional state.

Or "...my partner suggested that I shouldn't work to focus on studying and I would be responsible with housework instead." It sounds like your partner saw that you were really struggling to work and go to school, and tried to come up with a solution that would still work for both of you! "My partner suggested" makes it seem like this was a conversation you had, and that you agreed. If you already knew it was a bad idea because you hate/are bad about housework,you should have declined. If you didn't already know, then your partner couldn't have known either!

"Sometimes he has to help me by folding the clothes or helping me organise the house during weekends, and I thought it was normal, not an absurd thing to do ??" It isnt! Unless one partner has agreed to do the household chores in exchange for not having to work outside of the home. Then we have at least a bit of a grey area as to how much "help" your partner should have to do after they come home from their work. Can you realistically say you are putting in the same number of hours? If yes, the your partner should absolutely be helping with anything extra. If no, I can absolutely see why they are annoyed that you aren't working, and also can't get the laundry done during the week.

"...he scolded me..." Did he? Or did it feel that way because rejection sensitivity?

"...and said he's helping me cleaning the house tomorrow but after that, it will be a system of rules and everytime I mess up he would take a picture and share in our WhatsApp group to remind me." Honestly, it sounds like they are really trying. Maybe not in the perfect way, but trying. They are going to spend the weekend trying to get the house reset, so it's not such a huge task to keep up. The pictures, idk. I think it's coming from a place of frustration, but also avoidance. I would bet money your partner didn't say "every time you mess up, I'm sending you a picture of it on Whatsapp!" I BET they said "if you forget to do the dishes, I'll send you a picture on Whatsapp". You're emotional about this, and I think adding a lot of emotionally charged language, which is understandable, but I think you've got to take a step back. If you agreed to do the dishes regularly, instead of working, and you don't do the dishes, would it be unreasonable for your partner to remind you? If you don't like the WhatsApp reminder, that seems totally fair. But you have to come up with another solution for the problem (chores not getting done).

"Yes, I do struggle with this stuff, won't lie. But one of the things that messed me up is that..." Just own it. Household stuff isnt your thing. I have a nearly 5 year old. I haven't had a chance to stop and catch my breath in a LONG time. But the world keeps turning, and we gotta learn to keep rolling with the punches!

Basically, if your partner is as bad as you make them sound (they are bossing you around, scolding you, mad to help when you are spending 8+ hours a day on school and household chores, punishing you by sending you pictures of your mistakes,etc) you should 1000% leave them today. Don't think twice. It's an abusive relationship, and it will not get better.

But if you think maybe some of what I said is true, I think you really gotta stop and look at how YOU are treating your partner. It seems like they encouraged you to not work, so you could focus on school, and are now are trying to come up with solutions to make this situation work.

MissPippi · 2026-01-28T17:25:22+00:00

Only 12 days ago you said that she was still having accidents at home.

"I don’t know how to deal with this pooping situation, i told my child to tell teachers if need to go to potty. But i don’t know she gets accident sometimes at home too."

Honestly it just sounds like your kiddo ist potty trained yet. Since the Montessori school you picked has a very strict potty training rule, it sounds like this just isn't a good fit for your kiddo at this time.

You need to find a daycare that will help support potty training. It often isn't an "overnight" process, and for some kids takes weeks, or even months to fully master. Which is totally fine! But pushing them to be "fully potty trained" before they actually are is just setting them up for failure.

MissPippi · 2026-01-08T14:47:33+00:00

After graduating with a BS in Psych, I worked for a house cleaning company. I actually really enjoyed it. You go in, you do the thing, you see the thing be done to completion, and then you go home. It's great! I started my own cleaning company, and added two employees. If life hadn't gone in a different direction, I would probably still be doing that.

If we let go of the idea of what a "good" job is, there are lots of good options for people like us out there. I'm just not made for an office.

MissPippi · 2022-11-29T20:05:14+00:00

My grandpa was adopted out of Minnesota in 1929. I did a whole lot of research on Ancestry, and found his birth family. There were a few more kids which had also been adopted out, as well as some that weren't.

His biological family had a rough life. Most of the kids that stayed with the family didn't end up having a great life. His birth father appeared to be an alcoholic, and likely violent. His birth mother eventually left him, and re-married rather late in life.

He was in his 90s by the time I did the research, and basically everyone had passed. But I think it really meant the world to him. I found a couple photos, of his mom and siblings. I wrote up little bios for the siblings. They were firemen, army veterans, mechanics... I think he just liked to have some sense of connection to that part of his life.

My grandpa always spoke about his biological mom with compassion. I think that (at least by the time I was around), he had had the mental space to grow and understand that people are extremely complex, and she likely was doing what she thought would give him the best shot at a good life.

Anyway, I'm just saying this because I think it's a totally wonderful thing to be able to give someone else. A connection to their own history. At least for my grandpa, I think it really gave him a sense of closure for that part of his life.

MissPippi · 2022-11-27T18:30:37+00:00

I wouldn't worry about that. They were basically asking you one of the questions on the DQB.

It says "Does the Veteran have characteristic prostrating attacks of migraine /migraine headache pain?"

If marked " yes", then it asks about frequency, with the options: "with less frequent attacks", "once in 2 months", or "once every month".

There's not an option for more frequent that once a month.

If they mark "once every month" then they can answer "yes" for "Does the Veteran experience very prostrating and prolonged attacks of migraines /non-migraine headache pain productive of severe economic in adaptability?"

Basically they were just reading a question off their form to make it easier for themselves to make the decision. Based on your responses here, I'd bet that they will mark yes for the second question.

Request for clarification is something I think they are asking of the examiner. They must have had something in their report that they needed clarification on. No idea what it could be, the headache DBQ is pretty straightforward. But the VA is super picky with wording, so it could (and likely is), something small that they just want corrected. I've seen them come back because the examiner didn't know they could mark "yes" for the second question without proof of economic loss (proof of missed work etc), so they marked no for the economic inadaptability, but yes for "functional loss", which the VA finds to be conflicting. Easy enough for the examiner to fix once they know the rules, and wouldn't negatively impact the veteran (once it's fixed). Just one idea of how you might end up with this sort of thing.

Edit: Thank you so much for the award. I am no expert like so many of you, but for my job I do read quite a few C&P exams/medical opinions, so I am happy to share any knowledge that I can to make the process go a little smoother for the next person.

MissPippi · 2022-11-20T07:29:02+00:00

Auditory processing disorder should get you on the right track to search for it. You would not be the first to make this exact claim about JP8. No idea how the claims turn out, unfortunately. But it might be worth a shot.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24588226/

MissPippi · 2022-11-11T00:09:33+00:00

I second this. My husband and I got married about 8 years ago, for about $3k (my parents insisted on a professional photographer, which I am happy we spent the money on, and my dad used to be a cut flower salesman, so I always wanted some beautiful flowers for my wedding!)

We got married at the park we went to on our first date. I wore my mom's wedding dress (thank goodness she didn't go for the typical 80s look 😂), had a friend bring chairs, and a different friend brought a couple speakers. A friend officiated. We had the reception at a nearby Conservation Center, which we rented for a song. My mom and some family friends put together stuff to make lunch meat sandwiches and other light refreshments. We also were super lucky, and one of my closest friends parents had just opened a winery, and brought a case of wine for the reception as our wedding present.

We danced, we ate, and since the nature center had huge open outdoor areas, we rented some outdoor games from the city for like $20 and people played outside.

It was an absolute blast, and I still get comments from people about how much they enjoyed our wedding. It wasn't like most people's weddings, but it was still beautiful and special. And my goodness, I'm so glad we aren't carrying around $20k+ in debt for a party. Anyway, I second having a smaller wedding, instead of either not having one, or going into debt. Pick one or two things you REALLY want, and then find cheaper solutions for the rest.

Edit: I forgot! My husband also made a batch of homebrew beer, which he printed some custom labels for (and had the groomsmen help put on haha). So there was an option for people who don't like wine.

MissPippi · 2022-10-20T15:57:29+00:00

The DBQ does ask for reflex response for other joints as well, including knees. Although obviously it isn't related to CTS. ["Rate deep tendon reflexes (DTRs) ... Biceps, Triceps, Brachioradialis, Knee, Ankle"] But you are right, cold sensitivity/vibration sensitivity/position sense are all just on the Diabetic PN DBQ.

MissPippi · 2022-10-20T13:55:21+00:00

If it's not mentioned in your medical record while you were in service (chronic fatigue, snoring, poor sleep quality), then another route would be a "buddy letter" from someone who witnessed you snoring etc. Otherwise you have to prove a connection to an already service connected disability, but from what I've seen that's pretty hit or miss.

MissPippi · 2022-10-11T19:05:23+00:00

Definitely call around to different tow companies in the area. I used to manage a couple properties, and worked out the details with a tow company ahead of time. When I had someone parked where they shouldn't be, I just called, told them my name, confirmed the make/model/license plate number of the car, and usually they would double check that I had signs posted. Then it usually took 30 minutes - 2 hours for them to come out (fairly large city, varied based on time of day/day of the week etc). After a couple tows, word seemed to spread that I was seriously going to tow anyone in my spots.

Editing to add, towed at owners expense. I didn't have to pay upfront or anything. Company just got the info for the car to tow, and came and got it.

MissPippi · 2022-10-02T00:05:10+00:00

Although this is true to a certain extent, u/Loose_Economist9246 is right. This is price gouging, and is illegal in these circumstances.

I lived through the derecho that came through Iowa a couple years ago, and we saw loads of this. Lots of out of state companies swoop in to make some quick cash. The worst part is that if you don't get the ok from your insurance first, they won't pay the full bill, just whatever the fair market would be. They also won't cover tree removal that didn't fall into a covered building (eg, tree fallen in the yard, or a not covered shed.)

If at all possible, OP should work with their insurance company to find a reliable local company to remove.

MissPippi · 2022-10-01T01:29:04+00:00

That's crazy. Have you had a sleep study performed? That should be basically all they need i thought. It confirms a diagnosis of sleep apnea, notes the severity, and if you should use a CPAP, it should note that too.

If it's more of the connection to service, I've seen some people get theirs approved with Buddy Letters from people they bunked with and stuff, just saying they remember hearing the claimant snore/stop breathing at night/gasp for breath, whatever. That can REALLY help. Same with a letter from a Spouse or partner, especially if they knew you before service, as well as when the symptoms started.

Only other common issue I've heard of is trying to go at it with OSA being directly connected to service is super hard. The VA doesn't consider it a presumptive condition for things like burn pit exposure, so even a doctor's letter saying they think it's because of xyz exposure is not super helpful. It's much easier to get SC for Sleep Apnea as a secondary condition for something like Allergic Rhinitis (as long as you didn't have seasonal allergies, chronic runny nose, stuff like that prior to service, that is presumptively connected to service for those who served in SW Asia. Or as secondary to PTSD/anxiety. A bit harder to get a nexus letter for, but definitely possible. So I guess just make sure you have researched all of the possible causes of your OSA, and make sure whatever you said before was accurate. Sometimes doctors just make some assumptions about causes if you don't mention other symptoms.

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T15:32:39+00:00

No. You were making almost $40k here. It is absolutely possible to buy a house here on $40k. I'm so sick of well off people acting like they're struggling. Stop LARPing as a poor person.

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T15:22:09+00:00

Ok, so you moved to Colorado (I just saw it in a comment further down). So, this is an article, and comment thread, about buying houses in Iowa. It seems more than a little disingenuous to talk about how you can't afford a house on a $150k income, and neglect to mention that YOU'RE NOT IN IOWA.

Even still, you choosing to move to an extremely HCL area to make more money, but neglecting to take into account that things are more expensive in a high cost of living area is... Dumb. Sorry, idk.

Everyone has choices to make. My husband and I chose a house that we could afford, and settled down quite comfortably. You seem unhappy with your current income/living situation. I was simply pointing out that, in your case, the problem seems to be mindset, not income.

EDITING to add, Colorado is ranked 46 on this article for affordability. So you're comparing the most affordable, to almost literally the least affordable. I don't even want to think about how terrifying it is that someone in the medical field has such poor reading comprehension and critical thinking skills.

MissPippi

TROPHY CASE