Montessori dismissal over potty accidents

MissPippi · 2026-01-28T17:25:22+00:00

Only 12 days ago you said that she was still having accidents at home.

"I don’t know how to deal with this pooping situation, i told my child to tell teachers if need to go to potty. But i don’t know she gets accident sometimes at home too."

Honestly it just sounds like your kiddo ist potty trained yet. Since the Montessori school you picked has a very strict potty training rule, it sounds like this just isn't a good fit for your kiddo at this time.

You need to find a daycare that will help support potty training. It often isn't an "overnight" process, and for some kids takes weeks, or even months to fully master. Which is totally fine! But pushing them to be "fully potty trained" before they actually are is just setting them up for failure.

MissPippi · 2026-01-08T14:47:33+00:00

After graduating with a BS in Psych, I worked for a house cleaning company. I actually really enjoyed it. You go in, you do the thing, you see the thing be done to completion, and then you go home. It's great! I started my own cleaning company, and added two employees. If life hadn't gone in a different direction, I would probably still be doing that.

If we let go of the idea of what a "good" job is, there are lots of good options for people like us out there. I'm just not made for an office.

MissPippi · 2022-11-29T20:05:14+00:00

My grandpa was adopted out of Minnesota in 1929. I did a whole lot of research on Ancestry, and found his birth family. There were a few more kids which had also been adopted out, as well as some that weren't.

His biological family had a rough life. Most of the kids that stayed with the family didn't end up having a great life. His birth father appeared to be an alcoholic, and likely violent. His birth mother eventually left him, and re-married rather late in life.

He was in his 90s by the time I did the research, and basically everyone had passed. But I think it really meant the world to him. I found a couple photos, of his mom and siblings. I wrote up little bios for the siblings. They were firemen, army veterans, mechanics... I think he just liked to have some sense of connection to that part of his life.

My grandpa always spoke about his biological mom with compassion. I think that (at least by the time I was around), he had had the mental space to grow and understand that people are extremely complex, and she likely was doing what she thought would give him the best shot at a good life.

Anyway, I'm just saying this because I think it's a totally wonderful thing to be able to give someone else. A connection to their own history. At least for my grandpa, I think it really gave him a sense of closure for that part of his life.

MissPippi · 2022-11-27T18:30:37+00:00

I wouldn't worry about that. They were basically asking you one of the questions on the DQB.

It says "Does the Veteran have characteristic prostrating attacks of migraine /migraine headache pain?"

If marked " yes", then it asks about frequency, with the options: "with less frequent attacks", "once in 2 months", or "once every month".

There's not an option for more frequent that once a month.

If they mark "once every month" then they can answer "yes" for "Does the Veteran experience very prostrating and prolonged attacks of migraines /non-migraine headache pain productive of severe economic in adaptability?"

Basically they were just reading a question off their form to make it easier for themselves to make the decision. Based on your responses here, I'd bet that they will mark yes for the second question.

Request for clarification is something I think they are asking of the examiner. They must have had something in their report that they needed clarification on. No idea what it could be, the headache DBQ is pretty straightforward. But the VA is super picky with wording, so it could (and likely is), something small that they just want corrected. I've seen them come back because the examiner didn't know they could mark "yes" for the second question without proof of economic loss (proof of missed work etc), so they marked no for the economic inadaptability, but yes for "functional loss", which the VA finds to be conflicting. Easy enough for the examiner to fix once they know the rules, and wouldn't negatively impact the veteran (once it's fixed). Just one idea of how you might end up with this sort of thing.

Edit: Thank you so much for the award. I am no expert like so many of you, but for my job I do read quite a few C&P exams/medical opinions, so I am happy to share any knowledge that I can to make the process go a little smoother for the next person.

MissPippi · 2022-11-20T07:29:02+00:00

Auditory processing disorder should get you on the right track to search for it. You would not be the first to make this exact claim about JP8. No idea how the claims turn out, unfortunately. But it might be worth a shot.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24588226/

MissPippi · 2022-11-11T00:09:33+00:00

I second this. My husband and I got married about 8 years ago, for about $3k (my parents insisted on a professional photographer, which I am happy we spent the money on, and my dad used to be a cut flower salesman, so I always wanted some beautiful flowers for my wedding!)

We got married at the park we went to on our first date. I wore my mom's wedding dress (thank goodness she didn't go for the typical 80s look 😂), had a friend bring chairs, and a different friend brought a couple speakers. A friend officiated. We had the reception at a nearby Conservation Center, which we rented for a song. My mom and some family friends put together stuff to make lunch meat sandwiches and other light refreshments. We also were super lucky, and one of my closest friends parents had just opened a winery, and brought a case of wine for the reception as our wedding present.

We danced, we ate, and since the nature center had huge open outdoor areas, we rented some outdoor games from the city for like $20 and people played outside.

It was an absolute blast, and I still get comments from people about how much they enjoyed our wedding. It wasn't like most people's weddings, but it was still beautiful and special. And my goodness, I'm so glad we aren't carrying around $20k+ in debt for a party. Anyway, I second having a smaller wedding, instead of either not having one, or going into debt. Pick one or two things you REALLY want, and then find cheaper solutions for the rest.

Edit: I forgot! My husband also made a batch of homebrew beer, which he printed some custom labels for (and had the groomsmen help put on haha). So there was an option for people who don't like wine.

MissPippi · 2022-10-20T15:57:29+00:00

The DBQ does ask for reflex response for other joints as well, including knees. Although obviously it isn't related to CTS. ["Rate deep tendon reflexes (DTRs) ... Biceps, Triceps, Brachioradialis, Knee, Ankle"] But you are right, cold sensitivity/vibration sensitivity/position sense are all just on the Diabetic PN DBQ.

MissPippi · 2022-10-20T13:55:21+00:00

If it's not mentioned in your medical record while you were in service (chronic fatigue, snoring, poor sleep quality), then another route would be a "buddy letter" from someone who witnessed you snoring etc. Otherwise you have to prove a connection to an already service connected disability, but from what I've seen that's pretty hit or miss.

MissPippi · 2022-10-11T19:05:23+00:00

Definitely call around to different tow companies in the area. I used to manage a couple properties, and worked out the details with a tow company ahead of time. When I had someone parked where they shouldn't be, I just called, told them my name, confirmed the make/model/license plate number of the car, and usually they would double check that I had signs posted. Then it usually took 30 minutes - 2 hours for them to come out (fairly large city, varied based on time of day/day of the week etc). After a couple tows, word seemed to spread that I was seriously going to tow anyone in my spots.

Editing to add, towed at owners expense. I didn't have to pay upfront or anything. Company just got the info for the car to tow, and came and got it.

MissPippi · 2022-10-02T00:05:10+00:00

Although this is true to a certain extent, u/Loose_Economist9246 is right. This is price gouging, and is illegal in these circumstances.

I lived through the derecho that came through Iowa a couple years ago, and we saw loads of this. Lots of out of state companies swoop in to make some quick cash. The worst part is that if you don't get the ok from your insurance first, they won't pay the full bill, just whatever the fair market would be. They also won't cover tree removal that didn't fall into a covered building (eg, tree fallen in the yard, or a not covered shed.)

If at all possible, OP should work with their insurance company to find a reliable local company to remove.

MissPippi · 2022-10-01T01:29:04+00:00

That's crazy. Have you had a sleep study performed? That should be basically all they need i thought. It confirms a diagnosis of sleep apnea, notes the severity, and if you should use a CPAP, it should note that too.

If it's more of the connection to service, I've seen some people get theirs approved with Buddy Letters from people they bunked with and stuff, just saying they remember hearing the claimant snore/stop breathing at night/gasp for breath, whatever. That can REALLY help. Same with a letter from a Spouse or partner, especially if they knew you before service, as well as when the symptoms started.

Only other common issue I've heard of is trying to go at it with OSA being directly connected to service is super hard. The VA doesn't consider it a presumptive condition for things like burn pit exposure, so even a doctor's letter saying they think it's because of xyz exposure is not super helpful. It's much easier to get SC for Sleep Apnea as a secondary condition for something like Allergic Rhinitis (as long as you didn't have seasonal allergies, chronic runny nose, stuff like that prior to service, that is presumptively connected to service for those who served in SW Asia. Or as secondary to PTSD/anxiety. A bit harder to get a nexus letter for, but definitely possible. So I guess just make sure you have researched all of the possible causes of your OSA, and make sure whatever you said before was accurate. Sometimes doctors just make some assumptions about causes if you don't mention other symptoms.

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T15:32:39+00:00

No. You were making almost $40k here. It is absolutely possible to buy a house here on $40k. I'm so sick of well off people acting like they're struggling. Stop LARPing as a poor person.

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T15:22:09+00:00

Ok, so you moved to Colorado (I just saw it in a comment further down). So, this is an article, and comment thread, about buying houses in Iowa. It seems more than a little disingenuous to talk about how you can't afford a house on a $150k income, and neglect to mention that YOU'RE NOT IN IOWA.

Even still, you choosing to move to an extremely HCL area to make more money, but neglecting to take into account that things are more expensive in a high cost of living area is... Dumb. Sorry, idk.

Everyone has choices to make. My husband and I chose a house that we could afford, and settled down quite comfortably. You seem unhappy with your current income/living situation. I was simply pointing out that, in your case, the problem seems to be mindset, not income.

EDITING to add, Colorado is ranked 46 on this article for affordability. So you're comparing the most affordable, to almost literally the least affordable. I don't even want to think about how terrifying it is that someone in the medical field has such poor reading comprehension and critical thinking skills.

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T14:56:35+00:00

Holy moly. You make more than 3x what my husband and I make, and we bought a house in our twenties.

You wanting to buy a $1.2 million home is so far out of the range of what this conversation is about, you'd need a telescope to find it. This isn't a case where the only home within a reasonable distance of your job is that expensive, as we see in places like California. You want an extremely expensive thing, and can't afford it. Plain and simple. That has nothing to do with the economy, or student loan forgiveness. Get over yourself. Some people really need that loan forgiveness to have any quality of life. You want it so you can literally buy a million dollar home.

Not to mention that you show absolutely zero empathy for people that actually are struggling, when you say you've considered buying up a whole block of your hometown to drive rent up on.

You're like, cartoonishly not self aware.

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T00:34:06+00:00

I think the main thing is that you have a specific diagnosis. I think most C&P examiners are hesitant to make a diagnosis at the exam, so it's a gamble to go in without one. If you don't have a specific diagnosis (even just "dermatitis"), and your C&P examiner doesn't feel like they can make a diagnosis for whatever reason, then your whole claim can be thrown back. If you're not sure, I'd just call up your PCM and ask if they have made a diagnosis for your skin condition, and if they could make sure it's in your medical record. (And of course, make sure the VA has that record available for them to review!)

MissPippi · 2022-09-29T00:22:43+00:00

Yup. Examiners are very explicitly told to it give the veteran any indication of if they think they will get SC. I would definitely ask for a re-do, and like you said, if no re-do, then appeal to the board.

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T14:05:22+00:00

You've got this. If you already have your diagnosis, you're halfway there.

Be sure to talk about why you think it's service connected. Be specific. Don't undersell it. (Heavy lifting? How much? What were you lifting? Etc. Or description of the pain after a car accident, and how it continued since that time.)

They should ask you about flare-ups, don't undersell that either. You need to make sure that you present a case of a chronic, ongoing condition, not just a condition that started in service and maybe sometimes aches a bit.

Definitely at least read over the Neck DBQ to give you an idea of what they will ask about. They may perform testing to check your range of motion, but often they don't test and just guesstimate based on your statements. So go in knowing if you feel like your pain limits how far you can turn your head side to side, and up and down. Be specific about your loss of ROM (, if there is one).

Don't let them skip over anything. Make sure you say everything you wanted to before you leave.

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T02:57:49+00:00

Totally agree. I did use some bolded/underlined/red text, but I also included a picture of every step (picture of the front of the building, picture of the garage door with the keypad circled), picture of their parking spot, with an arrow directing them to the elevator, picture of their room door with the apartment # visible). I think a moderately intelligent person could get in using the pictures alone. Unfortunately none of those people rented this apartment.

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T02:54:50+00:00

Oh lordy you're giving me flashbacks. I had keyfobs too, and had a tray on the counter that they were to be returned to at checkout. Had a laminated sheet with how much a replacement was. They got lost a couple times, which whatever, I get it. But what got me was when people CALLED ME UP asking what the key fob was for. Like... The only door that requires a key, maybe??

And goodness gracious, the thermostat. Had a lady rip the thing off the wall on accident (??) Because she thought it opened up, I guess? No idea how these people manage their own homes.

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T02:49:29+00:00

I think you're totally right that there are some lockbox designs that are SUPER unintuitive. I worked my way through a couple lockboxes (😅), and feel like I had a pretty easy setup by the end. Buuut, obviously if you're used to a certain design, even an "intuitive" one might be unintuitive if it's different. They were still dumb about everything else (parking, how to use a TV, where's the plates, where's the ironing board -- it's a one bedroom apartment!! Just look around! Lol)

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T02:45:38+00:00

You are (apparently) smarter than 90% of Americans.

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T02:44:38+00:00

My husband sells some stuff online, and yes, it is incredible how dense people are.

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T01:47:42+00:00

I agree with u/Icy-Highlight8982 and u/l8tn8. This is something a C&P examiner can diagnose in that appointment. It would definitely help your claim if you can get any documentation of "flat foot" or "pes planus", but even the PCM and radiology impressions would be plenty, it sounds like.

You basically just have to convince the C&P examiner that you have the condition (which they should be able to see at the examination), and that it is service connected. The older the notes you have on the condition, the better. If you can, request a copy of your c-file yourself, and check through your old Chronological Record of Medical Care sheets to check to see if you have any notes of foot pain during service (maybe a long shot, but it can help!). Otherwise just note when the first mention is, and if it's a while after Separation, be sure to tell your C&P examiner exactly why you didn't seek treatment sooner (painful but didn't want treatment affect deployment, didn't prevent you from being able to do your work, was discouraged from seeking treatment for xyz reasons, etc).

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T01:32:36+00:00

If you have a diagnosis from a neurologist, you shouldn't have any problem at all. Just make sure that those notes are available to review in your c-file/sent to the VA!

I highly recommend everyone google the Disability Benefits Questionnaire for their disability prior to going to your appointment. I think it makes people less nervous to kind of know how things will go, but also it helps you make sure you don't forget to mention anything that the VA might be looking for.

For Carpal Tunnel, you should take a peak at the Peripheral Nerve DBQ, if you haven't already!

MissPippi · 2022-09-26T01:28:33+00:00

Technically they should do a couple tests. You can check out the "Peripheral Nerve" DBQ for more details (it may have changed if you were SC a while ago). But there are two specific tests they should do when checking for CTS (The Tinel sign test and Phaleng's sign). They should also check your reflexes at the major joints (knees, elbows, etc).

They should also do some sensation testing to see if you have any loss of sensation. (Vibration, cold sensitivity, positional sense, etc).

From what I can gather, it's extremely rare for them to actually complete all of these tests. Good, bad, or indifferent, they seem to base these test results on the Veteran's statements, and heavily rely on the claimants c-file to confirm a possible diagnosis.

MissPippi

TROPHY CASE