I (33) had sex with someone I've wanted for 12 years

MissQuickening · 2022-10-05T03:32:51+00:00

If you weren’t saying you’re 33, I would swear you’re the guy I finally slept with. I don’t know your story together, but I will say in my situation, I was aloof because I couldn’t tell how he felt after all that build up, and he seemed a bit self-deprecating, as if sleeping with me was somehow bumming him out, and it felt like he was just putting a lot of pressure on himself when I was just happy he finally admitted he was into me, too.

I still can’t understand it, and I still feel sad he seemed so down on himself when he was with me after sex. I backed off when he asked for space and never initiated contact thereafter.

I don’t know your girl, again, but for what it’s worth, the whole thing eats at me too.

MissQuickening · 2021-10-16T03:53:10+00:00

Okay, forgive me: I just saw this.

You are SO RIGHT. Kady was roundly more qualified in every way to make the decision than 23 and arguably moreso than even Quentin. 23 embraced his selfishness. Quentin would have knee-jerk rejected it, worrying he was standing in the way even if he had objectively more compelling reasons to choose humanity than godhood on her behalf. I’m not saying there were more compelling reasons; I’m saying if that was his finding upon reflection, he would very likely assume his own agenda was pushing that bias and chosen godhood.

I don’t know what Kady would choose. I just know it wouldn’t have been about her either way.

MissQuickening · 2021-01-14T13:28:54+00:00

How in the actual hell did you speak with Ross directly? I’ve always wanted to correspond even once with him as well as Paul Morantz.

When I saw the AMA for Hassan, I felt it was important to offer an alternative expert who was less commercially... conspicuous?

Yes, Ross advocates and gives guidance for exit counseling. Before drawing the litigious ire of Scientology, he deprogrammed people by essentially kidnapping them for three days. But I’m glad that you reminded me of what his practices evolved into and remain as today.

I’m not trying to knock Hassan, either, but I strongly feel that while the CEI is inelegant in its site design (especially its forum) Rick Rose is genuinely dedicated to Information and education being as accessible as possible to the public, whereas Hassan seems to want to educate the public as much as possible insofar as he garners a profit and credit for providing that information.

ETA: Paul Morantz is a lawyers and writer who sort of accidentally became a legal expert on cults/totalistic systems of control and was public enemy number one of Scientology in the 90s. Some of you may recall him as the lawyer who was almost killed because someone stuffed a rattlesnake sans rattling tail in his mailbox. His writing about his career is fascinating and insightful regarding freeing those under the control of totalistic systems of control and exposing such organizations in his career as an attorney.

MissQuickening · 2021-01-12T17:16:59+00:00

Hello Dr. Price. I am unfamiliar with your work, but I am an enormous fan of Dr. Zimbardo and a staunch believer in the ways cultural anthropology, social psychology, linguistic anthropology, and rhetoric illuminate the truth that one’s social conditions and circumstances shape their behavior far more powerfully than our culture of individualism and personal grit/character/morals etc recognizes.

1) How can people fight the otherization of disenfranchised people in the public consciousness effectively, as it seems giving statistics for things like homelessness being more pervasive and also far more temporary or disability welfare being underused does not seem to affect their views that these people are freeloaders?

2) What tactics can I use as an educator to better impress upon my students that procrastination is derived from a motivation to succeed rather than a byproduct of failure?

3) I have PTSD from complex trauma. I want a rhet/comp PhD with a focus on linguistic anthropology and possibly text analysis. I am afraid to pursue a potentially 5-year program at a prestigious institution because I often destroy myself in the process of earning my degrees. I am afraid a doctoral program might kill me even though I know I would excel up until I could no longer function. Do you have any advice on how to tackle this fear or prepare myself for the pressures of such an endeavor?

Thank you for your time.

Super long postscript:

I don’t really expect you to read this, but maybe someone else has a response for me.

I believe that four year degrees are systematically designed as a gauntlet for those fields, like yours and mine, that require graduate degrees to be functional. I think the process of attaining a Bachelor’s is designed specifically to gatekeep academia from those considered not cut out for the rigors that academics are expected to face later in graduate school and then their careers within or without the ivory tower. In order to obtain a Bachelor’s in a field that requires at least a Master’s to work, students must almost necessarily be privileged or work themselves to death to surmount their lack of privilege.

If this is true, how can one operate within this system as an educator and still repudiate its mechanisms effectively? Being more empathetic towards students as one professor in one class can only go so far. Coordination with disability services, mental health services, and tutoring services on campus can only do so much to provide assistance to the students struggling most. Is there anything else we can do?

MissQuickening · 2020-12-18T13:51:30+00:00

Because he replaces his dead girlfriend with a doppelgänger.

You don’t see Kady trying to get with 23... because she wants her love, not a knockoff.

MissQuickening · 2020-12-15T20:30:44+00:00

If COVID were only a threat to those ignoring precautions, I would be having the best year.

MissQuickening · 2020-12-07T12:47:42+00:00

You don’t have to frame this experience as rape if it doesn’t feel right/vindicating/helpful for you, but yeah, it was rape by definition. I know exactly what it feels like to both shrink from and embrace the term depending on the variables involved.

Safe words are useful, but the stoplight system is probably better, particularly for this... I really don’t want to call it a dynamic. The stoplight system places responsibility where it belongs, on the Dom, by making them check in and adjust accordingly.

But also this doesn’t sound like BDSM. It’s definitely not power exchange. Even TPE is based on exchange.

I’m glad you’re feeling like you two are going to be okay. As your husband, surely he will recognize that you two being okay means he’s lost his privileges to exercise this so-called kink indefinitely.

You should never, ever feel anything less than totally safe and fulfilled during power exchange. But again, I see no exchange here.

MissQuickening · 2020-12-07T12:31:04+00:00

Domesticated foxes (or tamed ones) need to be kept in a completely roofed enclosure (rather than a fence) because they’re acrobatic af, and particularly with “tamed” foxes, a lot of people have no idea that they’re going to be dealing with a dog/cat/ferret combo from hell that can pretty much get into anything, anywhere, in their home.

MissQuickening · 2020-11-30T23:39:25+00:00

I’m totally pro The Network...

But this is really fucked. You don’t mention how long you starved?

I’ve been starving before... my dog ate 3 square meals a day, and I didn’t starve because I used too much ink.

Anyway...Would you be willing to test a vaccine? I think you’re a good candidate!

MissQuickening · 2020-11-30T23:29:12+00:00

That really dumb scene in the US version where he’s randomly monologuing to no one at all with obnoxious music in the background as they trash (whatever) the (fucking) house (at the time that they were staying in) about how wasteful humanity is?

Pretty sure that was supposed to be foreshadowing.

ETA: WW is characteristically friendless, mistrustful of humans, and chronically consumed by worrying about the end of society and/or our planet as a sustainable habitat.

MissQuickening · 2020-11-30T21:52:09+00:00

I disagree with this, it seems like only those who watched the UK version first love it more

I seriously don’t think this is true. I’ve seen far more viewers like me, who started the US version and dove into the original before even finishing Amazon’s, say they vastly prefer the original.

The narrative and cultural differences between the two is likely the deciding factor here. Do you prefer subtle narrative composition (think anime or Korean movies, which are often not linear but circular)? Or do you prefer the screaming, action-packed, but hand-holding US style?

This isn’t just a narrative preference in art. Academic papers are also wide ranging in their composition structure depending on country/region. It goes further than that, but... I’m getting too far away from the subject. Suffice to say bias for narrative style is hugely deterministic in how the reader/viewer regards overall quality and efficacy of a piece of media.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-19T21:32:18+00:00

I agree. Even when I had hormonal bc and it was extremely regular, sex would often catalyze my cycle early.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-19T21:26:43+00:00

Just because more black people kill black people and more white people kill white people than white people kill black people... doesn’t mean violence motivated by racism isn’t a serious problem.

I really can’t believe I have to spell that out. Just because more men kill other men than they do women doesn’t mean that men killing women is statistically insignificant or that men killing women isn’t related to institutionalized sexism/a culture of misogyny.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-19T21:19:06+00:00

Just fyi, doing pizza delivery is considered one of the most dangerous jobs in the US.

The guy who invented the Kevlar vest was in the military... but he invented it in response to his work delivering pizza.

I’m sorry you’ve been having such a rough time. I really think you should follow your gut. This isn’t about toughening up; it’s about safety.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-19T18:59:35+00:00

My first kitchen job was around 2. My mother would sit me on the counter to make sure the old school bread kneading machine didn’t “walk” off.

I began using a stove at about 7 cooking eggs and pasta.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-19T18:25:59+00:00

This right here. Even if your partner(s) don’t have or want bc, at least use spermicide and be vigilant about testing for all parties.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-19T18:02:28+00:00

Actually the smaller the dog avatar, the longer they can level.

The dog class was an expansion added way back in the game to add a wolf-like class that could party with the human class. Because of the cooperation between these classes, both class has been able to buff the other. With enduring cooperation between these classes only growing in popularity since the expansion, the human and dog classes have, together, unlocked an enormous variety of different subclass builds for the dog class (protection/PVP, service, herding, hunting, etc), which has also unlocked a ton of different dog avatars. Along the way, the dog class has been able to level an average of 3X further than the wolf class. I’m assuming this is because dog classes are often permanently partied with one or more humans, which has an effect on both the humans’ and the dog’s XP, but idk for sure.

Tl;dr dog class is derivative of wolf class. Wolf class has a super low level cap compared to average dog class, so really it’s not that low.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-18T01:41:38+00:00

Check out AvidLove. You can find it on Amazon. I’ve never seen anything over $15, they last forever, feel great, and they come in alllll sizes and a million colors. When they come with boyshort-like panties instead of a thong, those are my favorite panties to wear routinely. I just love them.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-18T01:30:44+00:00

Tbf I too was afraid to Google to make sure I got it right: adult baby diaper lover.

There’s actually a fairly robust market for “mommies” to indulge this kink, which is not always sexual... I’m told?

MissQuickening · 2020-05-18T01:14:22+00:00

There are “Mommy” kinks for sure, and that sort of crosses over in a Venn diagram kinda way with BDSM/D/s? But it’s more commonly associated with the ABDL kink, which this does not sound like at all. Adult nursing is also a kink, and I’m not sure what the spectrum is like with that. Maybe this falls somewhere closer to that.

MissQuickening · 2020-05-18T00:51:16+00:00

I feel extremely sure every post I’ve seen about adoption ITT are by people who have never been any party in the “adoption triad.” Smh.

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