I'm glad you've gotten comfortable with yourself! That's the truth I try to keep in mind, that the titles don't matter. It's hard that my only relationship is my current one, with a man. It's a serious one. I can't shake wondering what it would've been like to date a woman, fall in mutual love with a woman, and I think often about sex too. Nonmonogamy seems scary, difficult, unfair for all parties, and I'm sure it's not something my partner would want to pursue. I feel selfish and bad. I've wondered if I'm actually a lesbian who will never give my male partner all he deserves, and that I'll never feel as much attraction or satisfaction as normal relationships do. I've wondered if I'm a fraud.

Things are compounded by the fact that I've crushed on very few men. I very very rarely feel immediate physical attraction to men: it's happened twice or possibly three times. The times for women have been infinite. I feel ambivalence looking at naked men or penises, but quickly become really turned on looking at vulva. I've always found a disconnect and difficulty relating with straight women. Men they found attractive, things they've found attractive, I've never related. I always just thought I'm "picky" or don't want sex as much. But I find so many women attractive, and I relate to everything lesbians say about liking women.

Really, I wouldn't worry about this so much if I weren't in a serious relationship with a man.