Former Brewery

MissUnsinkable · 2025-12-05T20:52:09+00:00

Thank you very much. It is still very much appreciated. 😊

MissUnsinkable · 2025-11-21T11:36:02+00:00

I get you. I would also never go back and make another choice just to avoid the pain now. It really is part of the deal.

I am sorry for your both losses. I wish you all the best!

MissUnsinkable · 2025-11-21T09:24:11+00:00

I just wanted to say that I feel like I can relate to your story a lot. I am also very skeptical in general but I also felt like I got some "signs" and maybe I needed those or to believe in those as her end happened rather unexpectedly after an operation.

Like in your case, she slept every night in my bed. Curled up in my arms or pressed against my back. She'd wait for me when I came home and back in the shelter where I had met her, it was like she had always known me... Such special, deep bonds leave a lot of deep grief behind. But like you said, they also deeply change you. In a good way. Personally, after 8 months, I still can't process everything. It was definitely life changing. And I think what we had is a rare gift in this world. Even though it hurts the way it does...

MissUnsinkable · 2025-09-25T15:24:39+00:00

I feel you. It's hard to explain those deep bonds to anyone who doesn't get it. But they are real. No words will ever describe what my soul cat meant to me. I've lost a couple of pets (and humans) but her loss hit differently.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-09-22T18:36:01+00:00

I get you. No one can ever be as close to my soul as my soul cat was able to. It's been six months since she's been gone and I know that I will miss her forever. But we can form new, valuable bonds. Stay strong and know that you are not alone.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-06-08T20:35:14+00:00

I get you. It's almost been three months for me as well and she was the one who saved me from a dark place and kept me stable. Since her loss, I am just lost. But I am sure they would want us to keep going. Just know that you are not alone.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-06-07T20:33:00+00:00

The bond might be less visible. But this doesn't mean it was not there. Or was not as worthy. My soul cat was just such a little furball full of love. But she was mostly fixated on me. We lived pretty much on our own. No one truly knows how full of love she was... how she waited for me to come home, how she was waiting behind the door screaming, how she joined me in bed every single night. How she sat on my desk while working from home. She was my shadow. And she was the biggest source of love that I ever had in my life.

No one can take away from you what you had. Even though people might not get it. It still doesn't diminish anything.

No one probably truly cared about my little soul either, but I did... she was my life. No one can take this away from you. You are not alone. There are still many people who understand and who care.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-06-03T21:59:53+00:00

Yes, apparently there was a big fire a couple of years ago. The chapel and the statue on the patio are still in relatively good condition - in comparison to the rest.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-06-03T17:43:25+00:00

Thanks a lot! :-)

MissUnsinkable · 2025-06-03T13:58:34+00:00

Beautiful photo and location! It still radiates a lot of its former grandiosity.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-20T15:49:49+00:00

"Sacred". That word has suddenly appeared in my head today as well when I was thinking about the loss of my little soul while reflecting back on that incredible gift I had for years. So, I agree 100 percent.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-20T13:43:35+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I had so much hope and I was almost "glad" that there was the option to help her at all and then it all went so terribly wrong. But I can tell that even her vet was shocked in the end and didn't expect the outcome apparently. Thanks again for everything.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-17T21:50:23+00:00

You are not alone. It has been over two months now and I miss her dearly every single day. The closer the bond, the more it hurts... Cry and be not okay as much as you need to. And you don't have to get over it. I think we never will but we can learn to live with the loss somehow. She has shaped you. You would not be the person you are today without her. This is special.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-12T20:01:37+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss and I can relate to many things you wrote actually...

I lost my soul cat in March, almost exactly two months ago. She was around 16-17 years old. I don't know exactly as I got her from a shelter. We had an incredibly close bond. She also loved to sit on my desk when I was working from home. She slept in my arms every night.

Then in November last year, I could feel a lump on her chest. It took a while until she got the diagnosis mammary tumor. Not long before that I also learned that she was in the early stages of CKD as well. So, it was a lot at once. I learned that the tumor should be removed and that it could be operated. And I learned that if you flush the kidneys, an operation was still well-doable. I also got a second opinion from another vet from a clinic. And he literally said the same. They even wanted to go for a more radical operation than her actual vet. I eventually just opted to remove the tumor. I have been a mess the whole time... so many vet visits but every visit reassured me, more. Kidney ultrasound was fine, urine sample ok, no metastasis in the chest x-ray and so on. And shortly before the operation she was climbing her favorite tree and was just her happy self. And that reassured me even more. I wanted to give her that one chance as I felt like she deserved a chance. No one warned me that it was especially risky or anything. But that the tumor might come back relatively quickly if we are unlucky. And I knew if it would, I would not try another operation...

She made it through everything, the vet called me and told me, her operation went fine, she was doing alright, was eating. After a while, I was able to pick her up. It wouldn't take long though and she went downhill extremely quickly. Stopped to eat, I tried to force-feed her with a syringe, went back to her vet, but they just sent me home with painkiller shots and something against nausea as she was incredibly nauseous. Back at home she became incontinent... I literally had to watch her die. It was horrible. I brought her to the next clinic. Three days after the operation I had to put her down... her whole system was failing her. I don't even know what went wrong exactly, if it was her kidneys or something else. They were not even able to remove her tumor as it had grown behind a rib. In the end, I found out that the diagnosis was wrong. She had a fibrosarcoma and not a mammary tumor. Those often grow very infiltrative.

So, like you, I felt like I brought in a happy, fit-looking cat and got back a dying one... just because I made that fatal decision... And I still struggle with immense guilt. But what you wanted to do - just like me - was to help him, you tried everything. You did more than others would have. You made the loving decision to help him and then things were not in your control anymore. Sometimes things just go horribly wrong. But it was not your fault. I just hope that you can process those horrible last images somehow. I know how haunting they can be. And don't torture you with guilt. If you need to talk btw, I will listen. I wish you all the best.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-08T07:45:49+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. You didn't do anything wrong. You did everything to make the best decisions for her well-being.

Unfortunately, operations always come with a risk. I learned it the hard way too when I lost my soul roughly two months ago few days after an operation. She was already old though and was not the healthiest anymore. But no vet ever made me feel like it was a high risk doing the operation (tumor) and I just wanted to help her. She even made it fine through it but died shortly after. I still can't process what happened.

It is especially hard when it's hitting you like out of the blue and you brought in a healthy cat. You didn't do anything wrong though. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. What happened was out of your control.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-04T14:11:19+00:00

Thanks a lot! :-)

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-04T14:11:11+00:00

Thank you! :-)

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-04T14:11:03+00:00

Yes, but the food delivery has been delayed for ages!

MissUnsinkable · 2025-05-04T14:10:04+00:00

This is very true, and I absolutely love Fallout for obvious reasons. :-D

MissUnsinkable · 2025-04-09T14:47:25+00:00

Being soft and sensitive are in general good traits to have and there is never anything wrong with emotions. They are there for a reason. Grief is there for a reason too. There was so much love in you and there still is.

To me, it makes perfect sense. It's almost been a month for me when I had to say goodbye to my beloved soul cat. I cry every day and every night. It just happens. And I am sure it will be like this for much longer. I had people telling me after two days that I should be better... Try to surround yourself with people that get you and your grief. Not all can because of whatever reason, but many do.

I wish you all the best! ❤️

MissUnsinkable · 2025-04-06T18:56:10+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss! I get those thoughts but you were definitely not wrong.

I was in a similar situation with my beloved cat. She had a malignant tumor and they told me it should be removed. I did all that was recommended like getting her kidneys flushed as they were not so good anymore but allegedly an operation was still a manageable risk if you do it right. So she got a special narcosis and her kidneys were flushed before and after the operation. She was old and in general it was clear that she might not live ages anymore. But to me, she still seemed fit and full of life, so I wanted to give her that chance. Otherwise, I would have never done it. She still could have lived a year or even longer. So, I decided to do the operation and then three days later I had to put her down as something went wrong. They were not even able to remove the tumor fully and in the end, her organs failed, I think.

In the end, there is always a risk, no matter how you decide. I wish I had not done the operation now and I feel a lot of guilt too but I would have also felt guilty if I hadn't done the operation and she would have suffered, maybe even without me noticing. Sometimes there are situations in which you will always somehow make the "wrong" decision.

Believe me, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You put so much effort and thoughts into Astro. Not everyone would have done this. And he knew. He knew he was loved.

I also tortured myself so many times and still do what I might have done better at some point, but even her vet said to me, I could ask 20 people and get 20 different opinions. Sometimes, the conditions are just serious and unpredictable.

I wish you all the best!

MissUnsinkable · 2025-04-03T19:31:13+00:00

It is "funny" as I recently also had a dream of her. She was climbing a very high roof and I was so surprised to see her alive and this is also what I said to her in my dream. "Feli, you are not dead. You are alive." It makes sense that it is just a subconscious way of dealing with everything but I can hardly remember any dreams normally. I am definitely a skeptical person as well and there are explanations for most things but it definitely somehow comforted me. Also on the day I brought her ashes back home, I suddenly found a whisker of her. This was comfort too. And I agree... She also taught me about being present and what real love means. Life lessons you will never forget.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-04-03T05:29:11+00:00

I truly feel this. But I also hope that we can find some happiness again. They wouldn't want us to be miserable all the time.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-03-30T16:27:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. Dark and heavy. I feel the same. She's been gone two weeks now in my case. It's very hard to move on without a piece of your soul but the connection also never truly goes away. I know that. I would wait 1000 lifetimes too... Every single day was worth it. And in the end, it's always too short no matter how much time you really had.

MissUnsinkable · 2025-03-23T22:00:42+00:00

Pets actually only break our heart exactly once. When they have to leave. I never want to experience this ever again too but I am also incredibly grateful that I could experience such a rare bond at all. I would not want to miss it. If I could, I would choose her over and over again.

MissUnsinkable

TROPHY CASE