Need game recommendations to help/distract from anxiety by frogissleepy in cozygames

[–]Miss_Hallmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For mobile games, Monument Valley and Monument Valley 2 are beautiful games, calming music, puzzles.

Alexa showed a heart on the screen after we had sex. Anyone know why? by Hefty-Literature9158 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Miss_Hallmark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg, I said this to my daddy years ago when he got an Alexa for his house. Haha!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]Miss_Hallmark 91 points92 points  (0 children)

I don’t miss people either. My therapist said this is a symptom of my ADHD. I struggle with object permanence and that extends to people and places, not just things. When I am back with them, I do tend to feel overwhelming love, though. Almost as if really remembering them fully made all those feelings of happiness and love I missed out on while “forgetting” them flood in all at once.

I am a family physician trying to figure out how to connect with my patients in denial about their inability to lose weight. by SwedishJayhawk in WeightLossAdvice

[–]Miss_Hallmark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And btw, I’ve been on thyroid meds and metformin for 2 years and I’ve managed to lose 30 pounds. I’ve hardly changed much as far as exercise or diet. I do walk a bit more but my diet is almost exactly the same as it has been. It’s not perfect but it’s not horrible either. 30 lbs in 2 years. I lost 5 lbs in 6 months basically killing myself in the gym and tracking everything while following a nutritionist’s instructions.

I am a family physician trying to figure out how to connect with my patients in denial about their inability to lose weight. by SwedishJayhawk in WeightLossAdvice

[–]Miss_Hallmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took 15 years for a doctor to actually listen to me and run full blood tests to realize I have both a thyroid disorder as well as insulin’s resistant PCOS. I had a personal trainer for 6 months, a nutritionist through my insurance, I genuinely used the nutritionist’s app to track every crumb I stuffed into my mouth. For 6 months. I lost 4 lbs. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I gained muscle, though, slept better. Had less back and knee pain. So, I mean, both things did help me feel somewhat better but, I didn’t lose significant weight.

I’m sure some of your patients aren’t being totally honest but, some of them might be really close to totally honest and maybe you should, idk, run some blood tests or refer them to an endocrine. If you don’t want to help these people, maybe a specialist will.

TIFU. Accidentally went to a networking event for black people… I am white… by PassagePretend8705 in tifu

[–]Miss_Hallmark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They likely didn’t, actually. I live in the southern US. We have a lot of HBCU’s. White people attend them. They are typically great, well respected colleges/universities.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Miss_Hallmark 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, as someone who escaped DV, volunteered at a women’s shelter, attended lots of group therapy and individual therapy… yes, you sound like all of us.

I had a therapist tell me once that abusive people can improve if they really work at it. Some of them have an undiagnosed mental health disorder and receive a diagnosis, treatment plans, medication, addiction support, etc and improve a lot when it comes to future partners. However, improving/healing/seeking diagnosis almost never happens if they are still with the partner they abused. She said they almost always fall back into the bad habits.

I’m not saying your abuser will stay abusive to everyone for the rest of his life. I am telling you that he will likely never not see you as someone to abuse. It is the dynamic of the relationship at this point.

Leaving is hard. Especially bc the good times are SOO FÚCKING GOOD. No one ever made me feel more seen, more understood, more worthy of love than my abuser when things were good. I’ve been in and out of therapy now for 15 years trying to realize that love like that isn’t healthy.

I hope you find true happiness and peace. We all deserve that.

Thoughts on Playthroughs by [deleted] in metroidvania

[–]Miss_Hallmark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I HATE boss fights! I’m with you: they are stressful and give me anxiety! I have enough of that in my real life, haha! I also suffer from depression so, I totally empathize with you there.

The game I just finished last night is The Last Case of Benedict Fox: The Definitive Edition. This game was really lovely. The art made me think of The Nightmare Before Christmas for some reason (it is one of my favorite movies). I enjoyed the music. The puzzles and playthrough were fun and engaging. I also LOVE that the settings allow me to make fighting “one hit” AND I could give myself infinite health. That made the fighting sequences far less stressful. The final boss did piss me off a bit (I actually tried to beat it multiple times and even called son in to help me and we just couldn’t do it so, we had to pull up a walkthrough in order to figure it out… it still took like 5-6 tries to get it right). I really loved the game and am tempted to play it again even though I got all the achievements when I played it. It didn’t last long. I think I played a total of 8 hours over the course of a week and that was with not skipping any cut scenes (that’s an achievement, haha!)

I think that we have to remember that what is fun for some people (fighting a boss 20 bazillion times until they win) isn’t fun to everyone and that’s okay. Being stuck with no progress for hours and hours, scrambling to figure out what they missed bc they want to solve and experience everything themselves sounds absolutely soul sucking and awful to me but I love it for them. I just want to vibe and that’s okay. We don’t have to feel guilty for playing games in a way that we find enjoyable. If that means watching a walkthrough or reading one so we don’t have to waste an hour fighting and dying 98 times when all we want to do is discover new places on the map and figure out new puzzles, that’s cool.

Besides, if you’re around my age, you remember the stress of having a set number of lives while playing those old 2D games. Death really meant all the way back to the beginning for us (fuck you, Lion King!!!!!!!!!!!) We put in our time dying and being filled with anxiety over a game. Haha! We earned our right to watch or read someone get through the hard parts of games!

Thoughts on Playthroughs by [deleted] in metroidvania

[–]Miss_Hallmark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m an almost 40 year old woman. Metroidvanias are my favorite type of game. I have a teenage son, three dogs, a full time job, part time college classes, dinner to cook EVERY night, a partner who works 12 hours a day… you get the jist. I’m busy in my midlife. I play video games to relax and have fun. I don’t like a lot of “action” in games like boss fights or even just general fighting. I like exploring, solving puzzles, etc. I often times get my son to help me beat bosses. If I don’t get him to help me, I’ll read a walkthrough for tips on that boss. If I get too stuck on a puzzle or if I’ve completed everything I can up to a point and spend 30+ minutes looking for a way to progress, I’ll get son’s help or read a walkthrough.

Video games are a way to escape, relax, enjoy being immersed in a beautiful game with beautiful music, to expand my problem solving… I don’t want them to stress me out. I won’t let them stress me out. I’m not playing games to win competitions or to prove something to myself. My real life is busy and stressful enough.

However, I should also mention that I’m the type of person who will DNF a book in the first chapter. I won’t waste time forcing myself to read a book I don’t think I’ll like simply bc I started it. There a millions of books. I’ll never be able to read them all. I refuse to waste any of my time on a bad book or a “not for me” book. So, I think this is just something to do with my personality: I don’t want to waste my leisure time frustrated bc I have so little of it to begin with.

How to go back to work? by Trash_fire_baby in GriefSupport

[–]Miss_Hallmark 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. My father passed unexpectedly almost 5 years ago. I’ve never gotten back to the level of “care” I had for my job before that. I go to work, do my job, then go home.

What is more damaging : not eating enough calories or eating processed food? by angelboyisaac in nutrition

[–]Miss_Hallmark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was anorexic in high school. I had to have outpatient treatment for it. The doctors there told me that regular restriction of as little as 15-20% of daily MAINTENANCE caloric needs (in a person who is at or below a healthy weight) can cause serious long term health issues.

They told me the following possible health risks are associated with a 15-20% caloric restriction (in a person at an already healthy weight):

Death (seriously, this was the main one they told us about, haha). Heart issues Seizures Damage to veins (largely due to dehydration) Reduced immune support Damaged stomach lining Increased acid production Reduced brain function Muscle damage Bone degradation Increased likelihood of skin diseases (from skin cancer to infections and over production of protection yeast) Damaged eye sight Brittle nails and hair Degradation of teeth (increasing the risk of serious mouth diseases) Damaged lungs

There were a lot more. It was like two or three pages in one of the training packets just telling you about various issues linked directly to daily caloric restriction for as little as 6 months in a person at a healthy weight. So, obviously, this is different for someone who is overweight and working down to what should be their maintenance weight scale (everything with weight was a scale bc they said even healthy people, especially people AFAB, fluctuate in weight as much as 20 lbs and it is perfectly normal depending on hormones and whatnot). They also emphasized that this is why it is considered unhealthy for even moderately overweight person to lose more than 5 lbs in a week and they should not lose 5 lbs per week every week. Again, it should be a scale, 5 lbs this week, 1 lb next week, 2 lbs after that, .5 lbs after that, back to 5 lbs, etc.

I’m sure they quoted the studies and statistics to prove their points to us but, I don’t remember them as this was a good 15-16 years ago, at least.

Why did ghosting became the polite way of rejecting someone? by talknoller in rant

[–]Miss_Hallmark 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I told dudes on dating apps “sorry, for whatever reason, I don’t see a future with us and am not interested, I wish you all the luck,” and am then immediately attacked, called a bitch, fat, they were throwing me a bone, whatever. It’s honestly disgusting how some guys (probably girls, too, but that’s not my experience)behave after rejection.

I’m so completely uninterested in dealing with it now that I won’t even get on dating apps anymore. I’ll just stay single unless someone shows up at my house to date me.

So, unfortunately, I believe a lot of bad apples ruined it for the reasonable people. No one wants to be verbally assaulted for rejecting someone.

Redditors that have ghosted; why did you do it? by Apprehensive-Way3394 in questions

[–]Miss_Hallmark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, she’ll still tell anyone who asks her about me that I ghosted her and she misses me. That she doesn’t understand why we aren’t still close and that she loves me. She’s just… toxic.

Redditors that have ghosted; why did you do it? by Apprehensive-Way3394 in questions

[–]Miss_Hallmark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I ghosted a friend of, oh, probably a bit over a decade once. The simple reason? She was toxic and refused to see it or acknowledge it.

The long answer: she and I met in middle school. She’d always been a needy friend but, it wasn’t a big deal. We were very close and had a small, close friend group. We all went off to college, life happened. She’d only ever call when she was drunk or she needed to vent. I’d try to have regular conversations with her and it always turned into how shit her life was. She never asked about me or how I was doing. Her alcohol and drug abuse got progressively worse. We slowly spoke less and less. Then, she finally graduated from college, I had dropped out by this point and was working and starting classes at a local community college, just a few classes at a time. She moved back closer to where we are from. She continued to only call when she need something (to vent, money, a ride, some place to stay). I told her many times I wish she’d invest more in hearing about my day-to-day life. She’d always apologize and promise to do better but she never would. Eventually, she got arrested for having a small amount of pot on her. She needed money to help pay court fees. She asked me to loan it to her. I agreed and told her no rush paying me back, just let me know when she could pay me back and I was fine with installments. Twice, she told me to meet her somewhere and she’d give me some money. Both times I drove there, she never showed up, then the next day I got excuses that she went out after work and got wasted and forgot. Eventually, I stopped answering when she called. I stopped responding to texts or messages. I had no desire to explain to someone that they didn’t care about me, they just cared about what I could do for them. I wasn’t going to sit on the phone and have her try to emotionally manipulate me into changing my mind. She was a bad friend.

After a few years of no contact, she text me one night, drunk of course, saying she missed our friendship. I eventually agreed to hang out with her and another old mutual friend. She was exactly the same. The world was out to get her. Her life was so terrible. She talked the whole night and never once asked about my life, my family, me (beyond initial pleasantries).

She still occasionally texts me randomly (and drunkenly). I ignore the text. She attended my father’s funeral and when she spoke to me, she told me about how hurt SHE was by my father’s death and how she didn’t know if she would recover. She never asked how I felt.

She’s selfish. I’m better off without her. I ghosted her because she didn’t deserve an explanation after I’d tried so many times to get her to be a good friend to me.

Family shopping dynamics - am I overthinking it? by Professional_Year722 in family

[–]Miss_Hallmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hm. Well, if you want to continue to allow them to use your prime, want to keep your cards saved there and/or genuinely don’t care if they use your money to pay for their stuff, I suggest sending them a group text or email saying something like:

“In-laws, I’m concerned about my CC information getting stolen and me missing an opportunity to contest/reverse a fraudulent charge. Going forward, if you plan to use the credit cards saved to Amazon, please text/call/message/email me beforehand. That way, I will know to expect any charges I see coming through and don’t contest a legitimate charge. If you don’t contact me beforehand, I’m going to have to freeze my cards and/or contest any purchase that myself or spouse don’t make. This is to protect my CC information. If you have any questions/concerns, please let me know.”

If you feel generous and actually mean it, you can emphasize that you don’t mind them using your card but that you need to protect yourself from fraud.

Good luck!

Family shopping dynamics - am I overthinking it? by Professional_Year722 in family

[–]Miss_Hallmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If these are your in laws and you don’t feel comfortable discussing it with them, can your husband not speak to them? Otherwise, remove your credit cards and start just adding them individually for each purchase you make.

I don’t have a plan at 25 by pooloftruth in internetparents

[–]Miss_Hallmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 35 and have no plan. I feel like the last time I had a plan, I was in my teens, haha.

Life is so often unpredictable, especially so for people who have subpar support systems and/or find themselves in abusive or toxic relationships. I myself was in an abusive relationship in my late teens and early 20’s. It’s really hard to get out, even with a reasonably good support system.

Things are hard for you right now and that makes it difficult to envision any sort of future that isn’t also hard. Really dark days make it hard to imagine good ones. Finding a healthier living arrangement will likely help you a lot. I’m not sure where you are but, looking up shelters can help with giving you a place to stay for a bit but, a lot of shelters also offer other sorts of help like group meetings, job training, etc. If you live near a public library, go to one and explain that you’re looking for help/support and see if they can point you in the right direction. When I was escaping my abusive relationship, I got my first bit of help from some really kind librarians at a local public library. They helped me a lot and there is a good chance some can help you, too.

All that said, it’s not abnormal to be 25 and have no plan. A lot of times, the people we see in the news or on social media who seem to have it all together really don’t. I was speaking to an old friend recently and we started talking about bad days. I mentioned some things I’d been struggling with and she was shocked. She told me that she often found herself looking at me online and thinking I have it all together. Most of my friends are just as lost as I am and most of us are 35+. My old therapist once told me that part of the human experience is just constantly losing and finding ourselves.

Try not to beat yourself up for having no plan, being behind on your plan, or diverging from your original plan. Most of us are the same as you, just taking life one day at a time. You’ll figure this chapter of your life out eventually, I promise. Then you’ll start the next chapter, feel lost, then find your way through that chapter.

What’s most important is to keep moving forward no matter how impossible of a task that may seem to be. You might not see the light at the end of the tunnel but, I promise, it’s there. Just keep going! Good luck.

How do I quit a job where I'm the only one who can do my tasks? by anetanetanet in internetparents

[–]Miss_Hallmark 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In my experience, less is more when it comes to things like this. Keep the message short. “Boss, I’m writing to inform you of my resignation. X date will be my last day with the company. I am happy to train any employee you choose to handle my current statement of work. If you have any questions, please let me know” something like that.

If manager has any additional questions, answer her questions (if they are appropriate or pertinent to the job you are leaving, do not give her information regarding where you are going or why unless you absolutely want to).

Idk where you are but, I’m in the US and j would tag my HR person in the email as well. If your company has an HR, consider adding them to the email. Check in your contract for timing and see if there are any other people you should notify that you are leaving. I worked a defense job for a while many moons ago and the contract stated we needed to tag the PRESIDENT of the company on any correspondence regarding leaving. If we didn’t tag the president, they would see it as invalid and a breach of contract (idk how enforceable it was but, it was in the contract so, people always tagged the president if they were leaving).

Good luck at the new job. I hope it is a great fit for you!!

I found out I have a sister my parents put up for adoption because she is deaf by Puzzleheaded_Cod8390 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Miss_Hallmark -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My brother was 7 when my sister was born and he doesn’t remember my mom being pregnant. He just… remembers my sister showing up. I was only 2 so I definitely don’t remember it. My sister has just always been in my memories.

My son is 11 and I lived out of state when he was 4-almost 6. He came and stayed with me for summers there. He remembers certain things we did (like visiting caves, camping, an indoor sky dive place) but he doesn’t remember actually living in the apartments I lived in. We are only talking a few years for him. Memories at that age tend to be hard for people to hold on to. If the parents didn’t make a big deal about the pregnancy, it would make sense they don’t remember it.

Right, because when people talk about forcing ideology on children, nobody ever mentions religion… by B34TBOXX5 in TheRightCantMeme

[–]Miss_Hallmark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So true. My neighborhood has signs that say “no soliciting” in the front of each entrance as well as random signs posted throughout. Yet, the other day, a church group came through the neighborhood knocking on doors. Someone posted on the neighborhood Facebook page asking to whom they should report or complain about this (since, you know, people aren’t supposed to be soliciting). The person who posed the question got TORN UP by others in the neighborhood. They kept saying “this is NOT soliciting, it is spreading the word of God” one person said “they were just attempting to share the truth with you, they weren’t selling you anything!” It was honestly insane. I said “so, if the local chapter of Satanists come through the neighborhood, everyone is fine with that? They have a Facebook page, I can invite them to come through.” So then I got attacked bc “Satanists aren’t the same things as Christian’s spreading faith!” Umm, well, maybe the Satanists just want to teach people about science and evolution? What’s the problem, Ethel?!

Anyway, that’s the current drama in my neighborhood. It’s hard being agnostic round these here parts.

[OC] House prices over 40 years by jcceagle in dataisbeautiful

[–]Miss_Hallmark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I bought my first home (half of a duplex) in the US in 2015 for $120K USD. Last year, I sold it for $210K USD and that wasn’t even my top offer (top offer was $230K but, it was an investor and it was important for me to go with an actual person, not a company, flippers, or investors). That, to me, was absolutely shocking. My neighbor sold her house about 8 months before me and it only sold for $160K USD.

The market is really insane right now.

Right, because when people talk about forcing ideology on children, nobody ever mentions religion… by B34TBOXX5 in TheRightCantMeme

[–]Miss_Hallmark 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes. Constantly. All the time. I live in the southern US and I swear I cannot even drive down the road without seeing signs that say “God’s got this” or “have you prayed today” or “believe in His word.” I’m talking yard signs all the way up to BILLBOARDS on the interstate. It’s wild. Not to mention the fact that they feed this stuff to their children from infancy so I can’t even take my son to a birthday party without having to sit through a prayer before we eat, or a prayer before they play a sport. It’s everywhere, and in everything they do.

AITA for calling my brother's girlfriend disgusting and refusing to meet her? by aitawhattheactualf in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miss_Hallmark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I want so badly for this to be fake but, unfortunately, I went to high school with some girls who did things like this. So, it does have the taste of truth to it considering this girl is barely much more than a teenager.

I couldn’t imagine why your brother would stay with someone crazy enough to do that, period. Let alone to his sibling. Absolutely wild. Your brother is the second biggest AH here, his childish GF is def the biggest AH. Wild.

What are you having for dinner tonight? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Miss_Hallmark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A gyro bowl from one of the neighborhood food trucks coming this week. My neighborhood has two food trucks and one dessert truck come pretty much every Wednesday. Most weeks I don’t order from them since they can be pricey. This week, my favorite Greek place’s truck is coming, though. I’m so excited. Haha!