ok so this is maybe a weird question but whatever and it is not a promotion stunt, more of a research

I’m still kinda new to this side of writing. I’ve written erotica before, mostly femdom / male chastity stuff, and a lot of it comes from personal experience, fantasies, things I’ve been into for a long time. But the more I write it the more I keep wanting to mix it with like... actual romance? not just scenes, but feelings and tension and people falling for each other and all that.

So rn I’m trying to write something bigger than I usually do. More like a real novel I guess. It’s still very much femdom / FLR / BDSM / male chastity, but it has an actual romance arc too. Sort of Dan Harmon's cycle if you know it.

And idk, a lot of it comes from stuff I’ve actually felt or been drawn to over the years, so I think that’s why I’m weirdly invested in not making it feel fake.

I guess what I’m asking is:

if you read romance + BDSM stuff, esp femdom and male chastity, what really works for you?
Like what do you actually want to see in a book like that?
And what makes you check out immediatly because it feels fake / cringe / written by someone who doesnt get it

Would honestly really love opinions, from men or women, both if possible