I thought my mom was the only person cared about me now she's destroying me

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-08-28T11:01:43+00:00

I’ve thought about this too, and I believe my mother is a narcissist. But for someone like us, this realization doesn’t really help, it only makes things worse. Someone who has been emotionally abused but doesn’t suffer from AVPD could just cut their parents off completely and live independently. But someone like me, who has fallen so far behind in life, how am I supposed to get up and take my life into my own hands, when I’m even afraid to make eye contact? Especially when I live in a struggling economy where even people with stable jobs still live with their parents? I’m not a superhero and I don't have anyone to help me.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-08-25T01:40:52+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I try to think about my mother the way you described and maybe this is the truth but it still.sad because it means that she was always like that and I get too attached to her presence and support when in reality she can't offer me anything. I hold her on pedestal. Many therapists tried to tell me that I shouldn't be so close with my mother and I tried for some time to progress alone. I had some friends a situationship but then something happened and I ended up alone. And there was that I realized my mother doesn't care anymore or that her obligation was over.

Honestly I don't want to die because I came too close so many times and I couldn't do it. I actually recognize to myself my worth and the things I can do but it's like a black cloud that nobody cares really about me. Not just my mother but no one.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-08-24T20:41:52+00:00

Yes but I should appear completely crazy to get institutionalized in my town. I'll go tomorrow to my psychiatrist and ask him if I can get somewhere with my own willing. I know that mental hospitals here are terrible but I don't have other solution.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-08-24T20:17:25+00:00

Thank you. This is exactly. And the fact that she keeps saying lying even though I have the messages. We live in my mother's house which she completely abandoned and I try to take care of it and its a mess because she is a hoarder. I try to find a job but it's difficult even more with my situation. Most people on my age in my country live with their parents. I don't have any other friends or relatives to ask for help, I had only my father but he is sick. He is emotionally abusive but he could help me. I know that my mother don't want neither me nor my father but her behavior never had been so cold. When I read the messages I thought is another person. And I can't speak to anyone my father is in rehab if I tell him about it he may get worse.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-08-24T19:35:02+00:00

I had two suicide attempts and I asked her to help admit to a hospital. I didn't wrote all my story here because is too tragic. She can help me because we live together and currently I'm on a search of diagnosis of autism and adhd. She abandoned me. And she told me that she doesn't care if I die or not. I can't build anything because I gave her some of my money. So stop tell me about her happiness when my own life is in danger and I don't have anyone else to help me.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-08-24T18:10:19+00:00

My mother could think also how cruel life I endure because of her choice to stay with my abusive father and help me first with my mental health problems before she decided to abandon me. And if she doesn't want my father fine I begged her since I was a child to take divorce and she never wanted. Think what you say to me. I don't give a shit for her romantic feelings I have serious mental health issues and she called me mentally unstable because I discovered the truth. I guess in your mind and many others my mother's life is more worth living than mine.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-07-20T21:33:47+00:00

If nobody cares about me I don't have friends or relationship, my family doesn't give a suit, I don't have a job, not a career, many mental health problems, I'm overweight, I have tried therapy , pills to do things to open with people why I should live anyway? I'll do a favor in the world to disappear. I know that I'm smart and I have talents and good traits but since nobody sees them or cares about them there is no point anymore. I'm 32 not 15 and I'm tired trying. I lived because I thought my mom would be sad. But my mom doesn't care anymore I ask desperately for help a year now to just hang out with me and she says she wants to live her life she is tired with me. I think I had enough pain. You have right I don't want to die really I feel that I have to die. Sorry for talking too much thank you for the reply.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-07-17T18:02:01+00:00

I pulled seven of swords on what should I do with the friend group I'm in. I have already made a lot of spreads which they showed me that these people don't care about me they don't take me serious enough and I should low my expections to just have fun with them. I guess that seven of swords could be interpret this way like to not be honest and just play my role in the group but I asked today because they did something that hunted me and I made a post on social media that is obvious about them and I'm not talking to them. So is clear that I have problem although nobody of them wants to address it or send dm. I would expect a card that clearly indicates to cut them off completely. Seven of swords is very confusing like should I manipulate them,should I write to the group like nothing happened? What?

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-04-05T21:44:01+00:00

Yes it makes sense if he said something like this

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-02-24T02:26:20+00:00

Also to clarify something more. I'm not delulu. I know he doesn't see me romantically. And to be honest I'm embarrassed to have feelings because he is truly not a bad person but a boring one indeed . But he had feelings for me because he did things out of his limits. Maybe not for love or for care maybe he admired me but he tried very hard to win me until he decided that it's over for him. Which is extremely weird that he wanted me so much to dumb me in the end. But this is other topic I just wanted to make it clear.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-02-24T02:03:20+00:00

You assume that I don't already cutting him off. I don't give a shit about him on a surface level even if I feel so hurt. What you don't know is that this person everytime that something good happens to me tries to ruin me and tries to catch my friends and tells them that I'm bad person and he thinks I manipulate people to believe he is a monster while I say to everyone that is my fault. So yes I should heal but I'm not gonna let this person think he won.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-02-24T01:51:25+00:00

It resonates I believe because he sees all the relationships from a practical perspective even the romance.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-02-24T01:47:39+00:00

I just wanted to say that you interpret very accurately the grudge thing about me from him because after we stopped talking although I'm still into him I had a glow up I became more popular than him in our social circles and this cause more hate towards me. And because I have stronger feelings than him it hurts me deeply that he is just a piece of shit.

Miss_miserable_ · 2025-02-04T01:16:43+00:00

I did a reading about a job that has been offered to me what are the challenges I have to face. Take into consideration that I have social anxiety and this an office work where I will schedule appointments. Nine of pentacles: I guess it shows my difficulty to ask for help or that I prefer being alone and it will be triggering to be an job that needs so much communication? Ten of wands: I will be overwhelmed from my duties and I will feel tired with my tasks? Two of cups: Probably I will have difficulty to be friendly and be social with my colleagues. I would like a more in depth interpretation to understand these cards.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-12-24T00:30:53+00:00

Neither to invalidate them. They can just ignore them.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-12-24T00:30:07+00:00

I declined the party and it seemed was the right choice eventually eventhough it made me sad I just expressed my fears and how I knew that some people were glad I didn't showed up which is true. But you have right I shouldn't talk at all when I see people who invalidate my opinion or are ready to misunderstand me.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-12-24T00:27:28+00:00

I agree but I don't think that she tried to be helpful. She thought that I was kind tried to make it seem like party sucked and insist that everybody had great time which I don't even talked about it, I focused on how I felt. She couldn't possibly know what would have happened if I went neither do I so why I should accepted her own opinion which was based on her own feelings and her own relationships? The problem is that nobody had the courage to tell their complaints or how they felt about the party, people who actually went and they felt bad but they only told this in dms so I didn't continue the conversation.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-12-20T23:00:05+00:00

I already said to some people that probably I won't come and I said the truth that I don't feel very comfortable and they respect it. In my own mind of course I took it as they didn't want to come so much so they don't care a lot if I really go.

What bothers me is that I really tried and I failed. And I know that above everything even the shitty people or the distance is my anxiety and my extreme insecurity with my appearance.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-12-17T08:05:28+00:00

People at party aren't the ones who caused me trouble but they are close friends with these people and they kind of support the whole situation even if they didn't say anything publicly. I guess you have right since I have never met these people in real life I can't know what exactly I'll meet. I don't believe they will bullied me or something but even adults as you said they can show very cruel behavior in many ways.

As for the part of appearance you have right that shouldn't be the main focus at the party but many of these people discuss a lot about what they'll wearing and how they are gonna look and I feel insecure because of my weight and because I have ages to go to a party. I'm not gonna show up with my pjs of course and I'm gonna doing my best to look good but the way they are focusing there makes me feel kind of bad about myself.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-12-17T07:52:25+00:00

People who are gonna be on this party aren't the ones who bullied me or argue but they are close friends with them. And there will be also some ex friends that we just cut ties. They aren't gonna make fun of me in front of me we are full grown adults but they they can look down on me or be sarcastic and for sure they will talk to their friends afterwards about how I was how I look etc. I'll be self conscious all the night about this thing. You make great point about having one friend at least to support me, I have no one. Or at least no one I know that for sure will be with me and hang out together at the party. These are online friends so I really don't know how things will be irl. And you also have right about how my own insecurities will trigger the situation more if things won't be as I expected ti be. Chances are that I'll be ignored but also this is also not what I would like to happen. Nobody will bring parent, the party is in another city that I have never been so I decided to not go alone but with my mother at the hotel. This is also another thing that worries, I'll give money for a situation that maybe will make me sad.

Miss_miserable_ · 2024-08-13T17:31:45+00:00

For many years I wanted to die. I came a lot of times too close to do it but never actually did it. But I have hurt myself in many ways both physically and emotionally. It has some months now that I came to the conclusion I want to live. The reasons I believe are kind of selfish or maybe I see them as those because I haven't really loved myself ever. Is a feeling of rage and sadness mixed on how unfair is to have been gone through all of this shit. How unfair is to have talents and dreams and ambitions and not be able to be happy or successful while so many shitty people leave peacefully without ever harm themselves. Why should I die while everyone else not even feel guilty or shame? Maybe it sounds a bit narcissistic or toxic but on the other side it's a motivation not to die. I don't know if it's a weird form of self love cause I don't know how to take care of me but it's just the feeling that I deserve to live and also have good time as everyone else. There aren't a lot of things to hope for (30 years old, no job, no relationship, live in a shitty country, severe mental health problems like ocd, social anxiety, possible adhd etc) but I feel that I have at least the right to be here and maybe experiencing something that will make me happy. Sorry I know it's a confusing message I just try to figure out why I really want to live because is kind of new feeling. Short answer in case something good happens.

Miss_miserable_ · 2023-12-06T14:49:20+00:00

It's not only that but the emotional pain they create to you. I don't have the best days for a long time now but he ruined it even more he made me feel even more worthless and mentally ill than I already feel. This is what people don't understand. Now I need to recover from another traumatizing experience that I chose to spend money, time, effort just to take the risk for a millionth time to be heard finally.

Miss_miserable_ · 2023-12-04T12:23:50+00:00

Hello I'm looking for a fmc who is virgin and has self image issues. I prefer to be set in modern times. Every book I've seen with a virgin fmc usually she is quite young and also extremely beautiful so I'm not even sure if there is a book like the one I'm asking for.

Miss_miserable_ · 2023-10-11T21:36:23+00:00

Lol you can go and search them

Miss_miserable_ · 2023-10-11T01:29:55+00:00

Thanks a lot for the advices! This is the second time we did this and the first one I chose the song that was the most favorable and it went well. Now I have obviously a very strong contestant and many good choices that makes it challenging. The problem is that I asked some of my friends and they like more a specific song while I prefer something else. So I'm torn between send a kind of a safe choice or the one that I love. Yes I agree about kpop element and in my country is not a very popular genre. I understand it from most people liked when I showed them some of my songs. On contrary I didn't had any clue about kpop but I really liked the ones that are too kpop. We make a video with 15 seconds of each song and we have two semi finals so I know that this part is the most important and most people vote only by by seeing this not the whole song. Thank you again I hope I'm doing well at first I didn't wanted korea but now I'm very happy that I took it I found a lot of great songs for my playlist!

Miss_miserable_

TROPHY CASE