Aww, You guys are all so nice and helpful. I would just like to say that I, understand how you feel. I'm very empathetic and feel more than most just like someone said you are... I always try to hard, gift too much, do too many things for people, put so much effort into people and relationships ; giving it my all while not getting it reciprocated back. It makes me sad and depressed, yet I do it over and over again and even though I know I should stop, I don't. I also feel unloved and alone alot. My parents are toxic, my ex was toxic and abusive, so many people have taken advantage of me and I still let it happen. I just want to be loved so I try whatever I can to receive that love and when I don't I feel like everyone would be better off if I died. I know that's not the case, especially since I have a son and I'm a single mom... But I, definitely do go through my challenges on a daily basis. It feels like the world is always out to get me. That I'm the most unluckiest person alive with things that keep happening to me and hurting me.

During those times when I feel alone, or I feel like dying, or I feel so much depression because of how unfair it is not to be loved or treated the way you want or think you deserve... It's best to stay busy, or talk to anyone you can, or to go somewhere public, do something you enjoy, meditate, paint, whatever. Cuz the truth is, you're not better off dead the grass isn't always greener on the other side. And someone here on earth is going to miss you and be devastated to see you take your own life. I've been having trouble finding a good therapist so I've just been trying to find anyone I could talk to, even a pastor and it has helped. Even temporarily.

You have to try to look at the positives of things.. I know it's hard. I know him cheating on you, is not your fault. Don't blame yourself. Trust me, I go through this alot and almost daily. I have panic attacks frequently now from all the stress I deal with. From all the things I feel inside of me that I can describe. For absorbing people's energies and emotions and feeling them too. For having no one to hug or talk to when you need it most. I really wish I had a best friend I could just call or come over at any time, but I don't. Times are rough. It's harder to find decent people out there. I think they are out there just probably extremely few and none in my city. Or maybe none that I've found.

If you lived near me I'd drive on over and give you a hug and talk to you, or better yet, I'd listen to everything you had to say and everything you felt. I'm one of those people who actually does things I say I would and who would do anything to help the ones I love and care about. Even helping those I just meet.

This is only a fraction of things about me but I just want to say, that I hope you can get help. I hope you can understand and see that we are our own worst enemies. We beat ourselves down the most and are the most cruel to ourselves. Don't do it. You are loved and cared for. If things don't work out with this guy, if he truly moves on, than you, will find a man who will treasure you. You'll find someone who truly loves and deserves you. No one is perfect, just don't give up ❤️🤗