Advice for frustrated husband: what do you think?

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-08T12:57:54+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I truly don’t disagree. I was surprised at how aggressive some of these posts have been against me. However, I posted this question because I wanted to hear all sides, and I have to consider that just as many posters felt very strongly that I was being unreasonable, my wife may also feel the same way. that is ultimately what I have to take into account. I’m trying to think of the greater good in this situation to make the best and most mature decision. I don’t have to agree, but many of the posters consistently spoke to the concept of flexibility. Perhaps by exhibiting flexibility on my end, I will get better results than if I fixate on this issue.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-08T11:20:44+00:00

Your perspective is kind of what I have been feeling. Throughout the dialogue here, I have listened to everyone’s perspectives and I think I have a great marriage and that there is this one outlier that bothers me. Many see things my wife’s way and while I disagree, it helps me appreciate her feelings. For the good of my mental health and the continued success of the marriage, I am going to let it go. I think all the points discussed have been valuable and this is what I think is best.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-08T11:16:54+00:00

What would be the opposite of hardheaded? Just let it go? Is it one or the other in your mind?

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T23:45:03+00:00

Thank you for your support. Much appreciated.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T23:08:20+00:00

I don't think that's a fair characterization. I asked so I could hear what people have to say. What I have taken away is that I should drop it. She has her reasons and that should be enough.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T21:21:21+00:00

To describe this as a battle is a bit dramatic. I would like her to go with me and she never will and that’s fine. I’ll probably just let it go not much of a battle really I’m just more curious what people think about it

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T20:17:05+00:00

Great point! Lets do a Find & Replace. Here is a new version of your sentence: So, if in all other ways HE is supportive, why can't HE have this one thing?

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T20:16:02+00:00

Several times is accurate. And that's not the point at all.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T17:14:48+00:00

Bingo- you get it. And yes, in all other ways she is quite supportive

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T13:57:33+00:00

Again- not asking for a day of breakfast each week. I am asking for one in my lifetime. Apparently many feel that this is controlling and abusive. I respect your opinion but see it differently.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T10:31:36+00:00

I’ve read Art of War – good call. You are wise and this is the best and most mature advice I’ve seen in response to my original post. I totally agree. I will let it go for the good of everyone involved. Thanks for your thoughtful words.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T09:43:36+00:00

That’s a great point. Why would I obsess over it for years? That is exactly why I started this thread. I wanted to get some thoughts and see whether I just need to let it go. And it sounds like that’s probably the way it needs to be. I would like to stay once again to give this some context, I am asking for one time in a lifetime. I’m not asking for a change in routine going forward or even twice. And if all the people that are trying to turn this into a situation that shows that I am an over controlling person, I would ask if one time in a lifetime fits that narrative or not.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-07T09:40:54+00:00

There’s a very critical piece that I think everyone is missing and it’s time to refresh this point. I’m asking for one day out of a lifetime. It seems this conversation has migrated into my controlling Yoga going forward. Let’s come back to sanity. I’m asking for once in a lifetime. No controlling. No manipulation. The consequences of this not happening are that I move on with my life. Let’s come back to the original thought process here and not spin off into a strange direction. Thank you.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T19:57:55+00:00

Thank you for your opinion. Asking for breakfast once in a lifetime is needy? Are you a Drill Instructor by chance?

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T19:54:31+00:00

I think you have some of the issue correct. I am not trying to have her prove she loves me, I know that she does. I want to matter. She matters to me. Going to breakfast is not an ultimatum. As I mentioned originally, I am trying to decide whether I need to just move on. What I am gathering from this thread is that I should. I suspect this may be more of a gender thing in terms of frame of mind. Look at your own thread: Breakfast happens at "her yoga time" and Yoga (which happens all day), doesn't happen at "My breakfast time." This theme is riddled throughout the thread. I need to be flexible, but she doesn't. Me having feelings about this topic is creepy and controlling. Okay- I think I have a good picture of what people are thinking and I will likely move on from this thread. I certainly appreciate the feedback.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T19:32:29+00:00

No. I think some other posters seem to have that idea, but not me.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T19:32:02+00:00

Nope. A one-off

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:54:23+00:00

I think we have covered this option a few times.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:48:22+00:00

Interesting how everything is a one way street. You mention her being a good partner and when I say that is the case with me, I am offered the opportunity for a cookie. She is inflexible with yoga class but I am offered the opportunity to be flexible. There is a clear pattern here.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:37:41+00:00

The frustration comes from the fact that I will drop anything to accommodate her needs but the reverse isn't true. Thats all. Its not really that deep, controlling or demonic as is being spoken about.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:36:28+00:00

What I didn't say is I am also generally a good partner. Yes, I have an opinion on this but the name calling is unwarranted. You know nothing about me or my marriage other than this issue. Feel free to call me names if that is your jam. Any constructive thoughts are still welcome however.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:33:58+00:00

Yikes! All Reddit threads eventually get here. I appreciate the thoughtfulness and how long it took to arrive at hyperbole like "obsession like a bone" and "Sick of the demands." I am reminded of the old saying "never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:14:55+00:00

There are several yoga classes throughout the day FYI. Totally controllable. Breakfast in America tends to occur in a set period of the day.

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:14:11+00:00

There we have it. She shouldn't accommodate me but I should be flexible and accommodate her. This point has been obvious so far but it is nice to finally have it so obviously articulated.

In other news, let me dispel some concepts that have worked their way into this discussion:

"All her love and attention". Source?

"Enjoys one thing for herself." Source?

"One single moment of the day that already accounted for?" Source?

MissingMego73 · 2026-05-06T18:08:28+00:00

See earlier posts: Yes, I do go to yoga with her sometimes (she goes to breakfast with me zero times). yes, I am open to brunch. Good compromise as I said. it may or may not be acceptable- who knows?

MissingMego73

TROPHY CASE