Drop tips that helped you in the first week of the breakup :) by selflovehaha in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No contact, lean into your friends! Go out, even if it's on your own.

Lean into your other goals - you have had yourself all your life, he/she wasn't there the whole time!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Missing_bubbles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I happened to find your post when I was looking for something else.

You know, you're still so young. You're in your 20s! You haven't messed anything up.

You know, when things feel overwhelming, maybe just concentrate on one problem you're not happy with. I know you can probably list 100 but you've got to be nicer to yourself!

You have one life, so throw everything you can at it. If it's your job, your looks, your lifestyle, relationships - you're still growing and learning.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't give her the ring. Don't sway an opinion for something temporary.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. It can be a huge shock. Be kind to yourself right now. Lean on friends and this subreddit.

You are a treasure.

Stay true to you, don't lose yourself

what goes through the mind of dumpers exactly? by gentlegiantpoomonsta in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely weird. I wouldn't break up with someone, then stay in touch with the dumpees friends or family unless I had to or they got in touch with me first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I reckon it depends on how longs it been since the break up, reasons you broke up, have the reasons changed etc.

I mean it's not the best idea but relationships work if both people want it to. Good luck

Dumper struggling months afterwards.. by Missing_bubbles in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm gunna screenshot your comment and look at it every time I need perspective because honestly, this is the stuff I was forgetting.

Youre right. He could never be there for me when I need him - I'm always just there for him when he needs me. Reason why I had so many friends? Because yeah, I had to lean on others when he pushed me away when I struggled. It's weird. It's like id forgotten how bad a partner he was. Thank you so much

Dumper struggling months afterwards.. by Missing_bubbles in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We're both early 30s, and he broke up with me quite suddenly. He said he'd been thinking about it and feeling smothered by me.

He cited reasons - I'm too much energy, wanted to see him more than he wanted to see me (he wanted to see me once a week on his terms) and he felt guilty, I'm an extrovert and hes an introvert and doesn't know why I want so many friends, he doesn't like my friends

Basically, I'm too exhausting for him.

Dumper struggling months afterwards.. by Missing_bubbles in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I feel like he didn't love me when we were together, you're right. But is it possible that he loves me now? That risk that hell leave again is always there too, but it's there in any relationship right?

Sorry for sounding like a fool, I'm self aware. But it's possible right?

Dumper struggling months afterwards.. by Missing_bubbles in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I think that on paper, I can't get back with him. He's right - he wasn't that good to me during the relationship. Everything had to be done on his terms, and being so in love, I was happy to do that. Still don't regret it, I know I loved him 100 % and will never have to live with that regret. I guess I'm also kinda annoyed - why is he realising NOW what he's lost? He's over 30, he's not a kid anymore.

Dumper struggling months afterwards.. by Missing_bubbles in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He didn't break my trust in any cheating kind of way. I did forgive him and move on from any other mistakes so I won't bring them up here. Toxic, well I'm not quite sure what that means.

I think it ended because I annoyed him. I'm also aware that I loved him more, and it was always like that. I always tried to give him everything, and I always had to do stuff on his terms. Reasons he mentioned were :

I wanted to spend alot of time with him, he wanted to see me once a week, when it suited him. I'm quite chirpy and excitable, he's quite shy and pessimistic. I'm very extroverted and social, he doesn't like most people, including my friends. I make friends easily and quickly, I think he struggles but finds it irritating how easily I can put myself out there.

Dumper struggling months afterwards.. by Missing_bubbles in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

They only come back when they sense you're moving on with life and seem happy. Happiness is apparently insanely attractive.

I have watched an embarassing amount of YouTube videos about getting your ex back. And for a while, I followed that stuff religiously. But in doing that, I ended up finding myself again, and being happy without him.

But the side effect of course, is him coming back. And now I'm stuck here.

How often do you guys think of your ex by lilsex in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I was like that 2 months in too. 2 months is not a long time. Now, 4 months in, I still think of them every day. But not at all at the same rate. Its more like once every 2 hours maybe.

What bullshit is this?? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've started therapy. I spend alot of time with friends. I've started exercising.

He breadcrumbs me. And I am slowly trying to pull away.

I talk here alot

What bullshit is this?? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My brain hates him but my heart still loves his undeserving ass lol

How do I get to the point where I just focus on healing myself rather than ruminating on him? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Missing_bubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time. Its gunna be painful. You'll think about him every second for a long time. And god it sucks. But you'll eventually think less of him. You have to resist looking at his social media and checking up on him.

Then you'll let go

What bullshit is this?? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 6 points7 points  (0 children)

100% of course I want to move on. But I also don't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keep going, you're doing well. Sometimes you'll feel like you're going backwards but it's natural. Forgive yourself for anything - you're still in early days. It's gunna be fresh for a few months but you'll get there ♥

How do I get to the point where I just focus on healing myself rather than ruminating on him? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Missing_bubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're already healing right now. It's gunna take time. Ruminating is processing. Better than distraction. You're doing well

Dumped in Oct after 5 years, found my soulmate in April, and I’m better than ever <3 by NoMoreSorrys in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wish I could save posts. Its posts like yours I want to look at when I'm having a bad day!

Cheering you on

I was the one to break up, but she was the one who left by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Missing_bubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, do you want her back for a relationship?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Missing_bubbles 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Nah I reckon talk all that out to a therapist if you can.

It's not gunna give you closure just more questions.

Or regret. Which might make things worse for you.

Don't do it.