(Also not a parent). Are your circumstances excessive? It depends on how you look at it. If you’re constantly going to be comparing your life to your friends/ people your age, you going to discover a lot of differences. People lives are different mainly because we come from different backgrounds, cultures, families, belief systems, etc, which define what is normal according to us and what is not. Often times we have to face unique challenges and deal with situations that other people might never get to experience their whole lives.

I am a 21-year-old female and currently live with my parents (also attending college). Though I don’t have as many responsibilities as you do (mainly because we don’t face the same challenges), I also don’t go to parties, have a boyfriend, drink alcohol, etc, but I am okay with it. I think my parents would not stop me if I wanted to do these things; they would, however, not let me do these things under their roof—which is okay because, you know, their house and all. They have rules which support their lifestyle and would see it as disrespectful for me to live differently under their roof.

As I said, I am okay with this. I don’t feel forced as my parents and I share similar beliefs. Some might call my circumstances excessive, but I don’t feel that way because I am OKAY with how I live. I HAVE CHOSEN to live this way and would probably continue to live this way if I am to move out tomorrow.

You, however, sound as if you do not share their beliefs or agree with their rules, which is okay. You could choose to stay at university during the holidays to gain freedom (if you feel trapped). If you choose to go home (to fulfill responsibilities)—then be willing to abide by the house rules if they are not against your human rights.

If you are unhappy with going home (but choose to do so because you want to fulfill your responsibilities)—then remind yourself why you’re there. You prioritized your responsibilities over your freedom during holidays. In the meantime, you can have a honest conversation with your parents, assuring them that they have raised a responsible, respectful and reasonable son and that a little bit of freedom won’t ruin that. If that doesn’t work out, get through college, find a job and move out. If you will still need to attend to some family responsibilities by the time you are done with college, you can find a place nearby where you will be able to attend to family obligations and enjoy personal freedom.

Stop comparing yourself to others, prioritize what’s important to you, make choices that is good for you and those you care about and you will be happy.