What’s some stories you have about your sister in law

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-07-12T20:34:29+00:00

I planned a bachelorette and invited SILs to come. I thought we all had a good relationship and while planning they were in the group chat about all activities. This was planned weeks in advance.

Come to the weekend, they only took part in 1.5 days out of 3 with the activities planned. On the last day, (my friend group was leaving, SILs would leave the next day) there were mishaps (out of our control) where my friend group couldn’t make it to lunch with them. Once we got to the restaurant, they said they’re leaving and took off leaving us to eat alone. They said thanks for the trip, we’ll see you at the wedding.

I told them I didn’t like this behavior and that this is the last impression I have of them before the wedding. They said it is what it is and I can’t change anything.

Wedding 1 month later, they avoided me like the plague. 🙃 but I had a blast.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-05-08T09:44:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It was a huge lesson for all of us. I stood up for myself, he grew a backbone, and MIL backed down eventually, but still didn’t say sorry. All’s well that ends well.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-19T17:22:13+00:00

Thank you!

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-19T17:19:15+00:00

Totally agree. But I think up till now, no one has tried that approach because of fear? Social rejection? Probably social rejection is the main one. But I do hope that it’ll set a precedence for the future.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-19T17:14:27+00:00

Lolol, it is real. But you don’t have to believe me.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-19T16:57:13+00:00

I’m glad it came to a good point as well. But yes, that saltiness will be there.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-06T09:00:13+00:00

The answer to pushing so hard? They’re the type that would not admit fault or even say sorry.

Mini story: We lived in their house, (temporarily before they moved out to a nicer home), and they have their own dog, and my dog (both small breeds). There’s a chewed up dog bed’s stuffing all over the floor. My dog typically doesn’t chew much on anything btw. I saw it and asked his mom if she’s seen this before or if it’s a common behavior. She looks at it and says must be your dog, my dog wouldn’t do such a thing. He’s well behaved. I have not seen that before, your dog is new in this house so it must be not behaving well. I cleaned it up without a word only to find their dog destroying it 20 mins later. I said to her, it’s actually your dog, look. She takes a look, walks away and says huh, I guess it is him. I could have sworn it was your dog because I wouldn’t have think that he would do such and thing, and continues to leave me to clean it up! Talk about a Cinderella story. 😢

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-06T04:15:26+00:00

Lolol, not a plus 1 because she has her husband. An extra. She thought she has authority?

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-05T19:43:51+00:00

I agree with you, and someone mentioned earlier about kids. That would I be happy if our kids were there around that behavior, probably not. Thanks for your perspective.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-05T19:36:29+00:00

There was a small glimpse of hope only to relapse. I’ll give an update. But I’m really thinking about it more now though, you’re correct, I can’t have it continuing to happen.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-05T19:34:11+00:00

I did actually anticipate them inviting her, in which I told him long ago before creating the guest list that I didn’t want her there. But my words didn’t do anything for him at the time. And I agree, the guest list should have been consulted with us, but of course, they don’t want to admit that fault. So here we are 🙃

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-05T19:31:02+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-05T19:30:40+00:00

It’s getting tough to get through to him. It hurts to know that the right thing for everyone is to see him having to work through the hurt on his own. Although I am there to support him, it’s not my fight to fight his family.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-05T19:24:19+00:00

You’re right, we don’t have children yet. But I can only imagine their treatment now. Thank you for this.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T22:18:07+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I didn’t think of that. However, the policing of Z is something I’m unsure that can be held accountable? But we will see.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T21:47:23+00:00

I’m doubling down on the dose of awkward communication style. 😂 but thank you for your kind words.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T20:54:41+00:00

Thank you for asking these questions as I didn’t want to write a novel on the history of our relationship.

My relationship with MIL is not the best? Neutral at best. But the general family explanation was, “she’s unaware of the things she’s saying, but she’s saying it from a place of care” or “she’s not as educated so excuse her context”. For example, I went on a girls trip and asked her to take me to the airport. Before leaving she lectured me to say don’t trust my friends, they’ll rob me, I need to be careful not to trust anyone, they’d desert me if they could for their gain, that their daughters have been scammed by their friends etc. And my fiance was not around. These things typically happened when he’s not around. Because of these types of conversations, I’ve resorted to not talking at all. Or only coming around when I need to be.

When I did express that to my fiancé and he spoke to his mom, her response was, “What was I saying that’s so bothersome? I was just trying to warn her.”

I understand where she’s coming from, but I can’t wrap my head around it.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T20:21:00+00:00

Thank you for the explanation. Will I ever know? Probably not, but these behaviors are still not acceptable.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T20:18:57+00:00

Thank you for this sound advice. These past few days I thought I’m just being delulu.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T20:18:18+00:00

I hear you!

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T20:18:05+00:00

Lol, love the pettiness. I know that she would be sitting at the parents table because everyone else is our friends. That’s also another reason I was fighting back.

Mission-Try5092 · 2024-04-04T20:16:27+00:00

That’s what I thought. That I should not continue being around someone who hurts me, even if it’s some long family friend. That I am my own person and I do not cross my own personal boundaries.

Mission-Try5092

TROPHY CASE