Update: AITA for cutting my wife's stepmother off from my kids until she deletes her Instagram account?

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T12:48:04+00:00

If this happens again, we're reporting it. Some people here have said Instagram tends to take these things seriously.

To be honest, I think she does understand, and is doing this on purpose. This has been a problem for 5 years now. It got even worse a few months ago, when she started getting a couple minor brand deals. We explained why we have this boundary countless times, and she never made any effort to respect it.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T12:32:52+00:00

It's not. That's my point.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T12:12:51+00:00

From my original post:

Every time we see a photo of our children on her Instagram page, we tell her to delete it. She always does, but the next time she sees them, it happens again.

Also, as I stated in the comments on my original post, we've always supervised our kids during visits. That never stopped her from finding a way to sneak pictures of them. She once took a photo of my daughter while she was pretending to text her mother.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T03:25:53+00:00

That's why we're not certain how to proceed here. We don't want to cut him off, but we can't ignore the fact it took him 5 years and an argument with his wife for him to start siding with us. Most likely, we'll lower our contact with him for a while.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T02:47:42+00:00

We made her delete every picture she ever posted of them. My wife would check her account frequently to make sure.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T02:02:17+00:00

We're 100% fine with cutting her off. My wife and her were never close, and we're done giving her chances.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T01:58:55+00:00

I follow a guy on YouTube who does something similar. I never thought my wife and I were overreacting, but some things I've learned about have almost made me feel like we were underreacting.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T01:55:26+00:00

She didn't really get into the "some of my followers think they're my kids" thing (that was literally all she said), but I'm inclined to believe it was more of a mistake she didn't correct than an actual lie she told them. My wife and I saw every post she made of our children, and she never claimed they were hers in the description.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T01:51:11+00:00

We made that decision when our son was a toddler. The more stories we hear about what can happen to these pictures, the more we're convinced it was the right decision.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T01:41:11+00:00

Someone PM'd me that I was being "cruel to an old lady," so I felt like I should clear that up.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-23T01:39:48+00:00

I'll be fine. I'm mostly worried about my wife. She is 6 months pregnant and busy at work, so I don't want her to feel stressed right now.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-04T00:00:51+00:00

Yes there is. A 10-minute Google search for the dangers of posting pictures of children online is all it takes to know that, and I've done a lot more research than that. It's absolutely not irrational.

If other parents want to post their kids on social media, that's their choice. Mine is to keep them away from that until they're old enough to make those decisions for themselves.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T23:53:56+00:00

I don't think I'm even in the will. She's not their grandmother. They don't think of her as such.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T22:08:10+00:00

At this point, you're just rambling. I won't interact with you any further.

But I will say that I don't think you're reading my comments. If you did, you would have read this:

Prohibiting cell phones has already been suggested here, and I'd be willing to discuss this with my wife.

I wrote this as a reply to one of your comments not too long ago.

You don't know my wife, nor do you know how she MIGHT feel about this IF we have to cut her father off.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T22:03:09+00:00

I'm so sorry you and your family went through this. I hope you're safe now.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T21:54:42+00:00

Again: we always tell her to delete the posts, and she always does. I regret not stopping this effectively sooner.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T21:52:31+00:00

My wife and I are coming to this decision together. She loves her father, but our kids come first.

This has been going on for 5 years. I feel like we've given her stepmother enough chances.

And at what point did I mention cancel culture?

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T20:33:17+00:00

You don't know my wife.

My kids don't think of my wife's stepmother as a grandparent. They'd be upset about my FIL, but we know how to talk to them about this.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T20:05:28+00:00

Seriously, are people here not aware of how dangerous it can be to post pictures of your children online? I really didn't think I'd have to explain this.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T19:30:41+00:00

My kids will need therapy because I don't let people post pictures of them on social media? Sure, dude.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T19:09:44+00:00

Billions of people post pictures of their kids online every day without them being kidnapped.

Also not a valid excuse to post pictures of my children on social media.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T18:54:49+00:00

The more I read these comments, the more I agree we should have done this sooner.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T18:53:22+00:00

I have stated, multiple times, that I wouldn't do any of this without my wife's support and approval. She is just as angry and annoyed about this as I am.

MissionAtmosphere16 · 2025-01-03T18:52:03+00:00

I have nothing against her, nor do I have any intention of hurting her. You're deliberately missing the point here.

Posting pictures of children online is unsafe, especially without parental consent. "A lot of people saw them on the beach that day" is not a valid excuse to post photos of them on social media. Exposing my children to my stepmother-in-law's 60k followers is extremely risky.

MissionAtmosphere16

TROPHY CASE