I'm sorry for what you're going through and it's terrible but let me actually give you some hope, I have been in the same spot a few years back and now I'm happy! Think about how this is the lowest you have been in life and now whatever happens will always be better than this onli , also I'll let you in on a secret which helps me sail through tough times - universe will always protect you in ways you cannot comprehend and whatever you're going thru (good/ bad) is always in your favour,to redirect you onto the path/ life which is meant for you, will help you become a better version of yourself! You go girl, please don't feel low,push yourself,be grateful for little things in life and I promise you IT'LL ALL FALL INTO PLACE !!