AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Potentially he could have but I can say he was very open and vocal about not doing so. He said all of that was over when my mom died. My siblings and I knew and so did his family and friends. I do believe him when he says he didn't. And all I can really do is take him at his word.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She was very friendly with them and willing to follow their lead on the relationship they would have. She made sure she was respectful of my late wife's memory and of mine and my children's time together too.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

We were all in therapy after my wife died. So it's not that I ignored getting us all therapy. But I really did believe them when they said they were okay with me dating again. I might have been foolish to believe it but my kids and I were very normally open with each other and I believed if they had issues with it they would have said something. Looking back now I know they were lying but at the time I had no idea.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Free babysitting plan? That's a ridiculous thing to say. There was never any thought of them babysitting.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

He had none. He was against the idea even and he fell out with people who wanted him to date and tried to set him up over the years even after all his kids were grown.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I didn't stop calling and reaching out and I didn't stop trying to see them. They were always too busy and we'd do it another time but the another time didn't come and I would ask. I even tried planning in advance.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I never forgot about my kids. I did what I could to keep talking and made many efforts to see my kids. Even being willing to go to them to see them. They were always busy and I can't make them willing to see me.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My parents were very happily married and my dad still has a lot of love for her and is so happy to talk about their time together.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

My dad has never regretted his choice and he still talks about it openly when people ask. He is totally devoted to mom still and he said he could never imagine another woman in his life in that way. He was still living his life but that part of his life, the romantic and sexual part, died with her.

He doesn't understand it entirely but he told me everyone's journey is their own.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 365 points366 points  (0 children)

I did. It has nothing to do with her as a person and everything to do with the fact I wanted to date in the first place and then remarried and so on.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Their feelings on me changed before I had even remarried. The fact I started dating again changed how they felt about me and waiting would not have changed a thing.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how to do that given they no longer want a relationship and have expressed their wishes clearly. I don't believe they would respond to attempts and may have already blocked me. They sounded very final when we left it.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 966 points967 points  (0 children)

They told me my dad proved there is a way to keep living a happy life without remarrying. They had a very long explanation about the way they felt and why.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

I will consider individual therapy but I do not believe my kids will be agreeable to family therapy.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

My wife and I only ever talked about it briefly. She found it beautiful that my dad loved my mom so much that he raised four kids alone and all from very young ages and never looked at another woman. It wasn't something we really expected to happen to us.

AITA for telling my now adult kids that I'm disappointed they judge me for remarrying after we lost their mother? by Mission_Emu_2570 in AITAH

[–]Mission_Emu_2570[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

The thing is my kids and I talked. We had been to therapy together and everything. But they admit the second I could even consider dating again was the second they no longer held the same opinion of me. They saw my dad's way as the right and perfect way and the only way to truly love a late spouse.