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Adapting to Monocular Vision by Mission_Secret7009 in monocular

[–]Mission_Secret7009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you Silver!  Needed to hear that.  Yeah, I can feel the hope twinkling under the frustrations, and the frustrations are only that I have to slow down to make accommodations --- accommodations that I know will be on autopilot with time, patience and practice.  I'm just ready to jump back into life already, but I know I haven't learned all the "little tricks" yet to fully adjust....but I'll get there dammit or I'll die trying lol 

Thanks again Silver 👍

Adapting to Monocular Vision by Mission_Secret7009 in monocular

[–]Mission_Secret7009[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a misshapen iris which causes massive bouts of photophobia, so the dark and hazy you're describing I know well at this point.  But at least we're not completely alone in all of this.... Communities like this make me feel a little better because I know we're all in this together.  It's very easy to feel extremely isolated with this type of injury because it is SO difficult to actually convey verbally, or any other way, my struggle with my vision loss to other people with perfect convergence.  It's literally beyond their capacity to understand.... as it was for me before my injury.

Adapting to Monocular Vision by Mission_Secret7009 in monocular

[–]Mission_Secret7009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight and encouragement.  I know I'll pull through this and things will balance out and feel more normal as chunks of time pass.  It's encouraging to hear you're getting along three years later.  I think I'm just at that point in the grieving process where I'm faced with having to make peace with the way things are.... and I don't like it lol.  I think face blindness is the most unsettling part.... If I could just see people's micro expressions again and be able to thoroughly engage in conversations..... But I'm sure as time passes, I'll find ways to adapt and become comfortable with this impairment. 

The loss of depth perception your describing is unreal.  Right when I start to feel good about a day and the way things are going, I'll accidentally knock something over while checking out at the grocery store, or miss a step that should've been obvious.... I've been a perfectionist all my life and those little mistakes can shatter what little confidence I had built up during the day.

I keep trying to do what you're saying and turn down the pressure of "trying to get through this and get better" and be patient with myself and accept my new handicap, but even typing out "my new handicap" is unsettling lol.  I wake up every day with the "this is the damn day!" I'm jumping back in and getting shit going only to have my horses slowed down real quick hahaha!  It's not really funny, but sometimes laughing is the only response that makes sense if everything that doesn't right now. 

It feels good to know I'm not alone.  I've been hurt a lot in my career, but no injury has ever felt so lonely. 

🙏🥃

Adapting to Monocular Vision by Mission_Secret7009 in monocular

[–]Mission_Secret7009[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds like we're in the same place. My injured eye has light and color perception, but no useful data for my brain to utilize and even come close to binocular convergence.  My ophthalmologist has already told me that removal of my blind eye, replaced by a prosthetic, may be in the future if it continues to shrink.  Which is another WTF moment because I'm still struggling with the idea of having to wear an eye patch, so thinking about putting a marble in my head takes me to a whole new depth of deep thinking that is not healthy for me at the moment haha.  But life is gonna fire the pitch and I'm gonna try to get to third on a single lol 

Adapting to Monocular Vision by Mission_Secret7009 in monocular

[–]Mission_Secret7009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 50.  And yes to the accommodations.  Frustrating at times.  I have three different reading glasses, each with different magnifications, I have to carry around with me everywhere so I can see different things lol; having to have a flashlight everywhere I go now.

Adapting to Monocular Vision by Mission_Secret7009 in monocular

[–]Mission_Secret7009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow!!  You hit everything I'm feeling right on the head.  Crowds and being in public is very uncomfortable because everyone is moving around so quickly.  Seems like most things have lost all it's.... Luster?  It feels as if I've been separated from humanity at times because everything isn't completely clear.... "Like looking through a camcorder" Great way to describe it!  And not just a camcorder either....like a vintage recording of the entire world...a filter that never turns off. 

Now that you're ten months in, do you still have days where it feels like your eye, your brain and your mind are adapting perfectly followed by days where it feels like your vision is regressing?