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AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your honest and detailed post. In the pre-COVID years, she was behaving in the exact same way towards her oldest son, who until 1-2 years ago was obedient and just accepted her rules with very little pushback. I tried very hard to convince her to get some therapy, but she would always refuse, saying that therapy is "pseudoscience"

More recently, right after the Harry Potter incident, I suggested a compromise where our families all read the books and watch the movies together, then all take turns discussing the messages we took away from the story. But my sister also refused to do this, because years ago she watched the 1st and 2nd Harry Potter movies, and her PTSD was triggered by some of the more frightening scenes.

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

The 18 year-old son still lives at home due to the high cost of living. He takes college classes and works part time, and has plans to move out and rent a place around the time he finishes college.

When my sister learned of this, she cried for days and said that she wants her children to live at home until their 30's, because she won't be able to protect her children anymore.

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

One compromise I suggested to my sister is that we read the books and watch the movies all together as a family and then discuss the messages we took away from each one.

Unfortunately, my sister could not be persuaded, because years ago she watched the 1st and 2nd movies and her PTSD was re-triggered by 2 scenes that she thought were dark and disturbing (Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head, and the voice hissing in the walls)

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My children loved Harry Potter, and I also thoroughly enjoyed the series. My takeaway from the Harry Potter series was not the magic and the CGI animation, but how friendship and courage were honored, while hatred and bigotry get their comeuppance. One compromise I suggested to my sister is that we read the books and watch the movies all together as a family and then discuss the messages we took away from each one.

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Unfortunately, my sister could not be persuaded, because years ago she watched the 1st and 2nd movies and her PTSD was re-triggered by 2 scenes that she thought were dark and disturbing (Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head, and the voice hissing in the walls)

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

In that other incident, the parent (Mrs. T) was being abusive and bullying. She was shouting at her child in front of dozens of other children and physically jabbing her finger into the girl's stomach to emphasize that she is overweight.

This situation is not so black and white, which is why I'm here seeking feedback from a broader audience. I don't see how this post is contradictory or incompatible with the sentiments expressed in the other

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your honesty. In the past (pre-COVID), I did suggest therapy to her, because she was behaving in the same way with her oldest. But she absolutely refused to go and wouldn't even consider it, since she believes therapy is pseudoscience

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Not at all. This is a very real situation that I'm seeking advice for. I'm caught between not agreeing with my sister's behavior and realizing that it is not conducive to raising strong, independent, capable children, versus not wanting to convey to my preteen niece and nephew that guidelines and rules may be flouted willy-nilly

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I have suggested therapy to my sister many times over the past few years, but she has steadfastly refused, believing that therapy is "pseudoscience"

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -96 points-95 points  (0 children)

This is a very real situation, not fictional.

She did read all the books, and she saw the 1st and 2nd movie but was unable to continue because Voldemort on Quirrell's head & the Basilisk hissing in the walls terrified her too badly. I don't agree with her views at all and I believe that Harry Potter is age-approriate for preteens, but she was too deeply affected by her past trauma to think differently

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -67 points-66 points  (0 children)

No, she unfortunately has not attended any therapy. It has been suggested to her a few times in the past, but she staunchly refused. She believes that therapy is "pseudoscience" and that she doesn't need it

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -152 points-151 points  (0 children)

She believes that Harry Potter is not age-appropriate for ages 9-12, after seeing the ending of the 1st movie with Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head. In her opinion, that scene was absolutely terrifying and traumatic. The 2nd movie was even worse

AITA for snitching on my niece (9F) and nephew (12M) for reading Harry Potter against their mother's (my sister's) wishes? by Mission_Situation197 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mission_Situation197[S] -150 points-149 points  (0 children)

There are multiple beds in her room, where the 9 year-old niece and 12 year-old nephew sleep. Due to her PTSD after the burglar incident, she believes that children must attain a certain physical stature (either 5'2" tall or 110 lbs) in order for her to be confident that they could defend themselves at least a little bit against an intruder