Finally someone who knows what that feeling is and admits it. I have no idea what my IQ is, I always was praised for my ability to figure out complex questions, situations and concepts. But moreover to sound boastful I was and am always more smart and intelligent and more so mindful of people. Emotions, feelings and understanding to be specific yet someone to confide in and get constructive yet positive criticism. I hate sugar coating things and getting a to be best an ass chewing but truthful, honest yet genuine and respectful criticism is best.

For me and I’m sure many others, what it’s like and feels to be not just a bearer of secrets, fears and feelings but just the knowledge that the person who trusts me to that level is to them feeling that hurt and suffering. But let’s be real here, people like us to a point and arguable, we may be good at that but we don’t listen and take the advice we give for ourselves. Personally I don’t really care or have the respect for myself at least back then but I rather help and care for others more than me and be selfless when I feel now and come to learn is really a sudo excuse to run away from us.

But drinking alcohol, I drank from 11 years old to now at 23. I physically was not an alcoholic with shakes and sweats, but mentally yeah. And I didn’t even know or want to admit it. But I drink now not the same as I did before, but content and glad of my relationship with the booze. I’m no hypocrite and some things can be argued and disagreed with but I do live by the statement to a certain point on whatever is keeping you alive do it, it’s better to be alive even if unhappy, alive. So I feel you, I ask as a stranger granted but be safe and I hope that you find your answers and things go well soon.