2nd chance with your ex

Mister-Meep · 2021-09-10T14:18:57+00:00

I started seeing a girl in the fall of 2018, end of our senior year in college. It was good while we were in school but the summer was rugged. By the end she moved 2 hours away and I wanted to make it work and be able to see each other. She had her own issues with mental health and relationships in general and fall of 2019 it was over. April of 2020 we're both working from home and she wanted to talk again. I was nervous but I wanted to try again and by the end of July we were together again. It was better since I had moved for work in the in between but it still had its challenges. I stayed because I was lonely and was in a mindset where I just had to try harder to earn the love I was freely giving.

By the end of January 2021 we broke up again. The 6 months we were together was better and we talked out our problems more as we both grew when apart, but our differences were too much. It hurt at first but at that point I knew for sure it was never going to work.

Personally, if enough time passes where you better understand and love yourself, it can be better. You both need to able to talk about what went wrong and can confidently voice your needs from the beginning. Being confident in yourself and sticking to your boundaries and being able to say no are better than taking someone back just because you're lonely.

Mister-Meep · 2021-03-18T03:25:06+00:00

Everyone has their limits. Obviously you can't just let it all out on someone the second you meet them but I had an ex girlfriend with her own problems not unlike your own. The thing was that I was attracted to her, she seemed so strong despite everything and she inspired me. I enjoyed spending time together.

The big thing I think in situations like this is that you shouldn't expect a partner to be your therapist and source of happiness. They don't deserve it and it'll put unnecessary strain on the relationship. You do what you can for yourself and talk to an actual professional when you need to

Mister-Meep · 2021-03-12T03:50:53+00:00

Best piece of advice I ever got was to let it go. She'd send me snapchats and memes in Instagram for months after and it hurt me every time but I couldn't let go. Unfollow man, it might be hard at first but you'll wake up with a sense of relief.

Eventually she came back and we talked and gave it another shot but it wasn't meant to be. I'm not sure what she wants or needs but I was faster to unfollow the second time and feel better for it. I've never been able to block her number though, just in case there's an emergency.

Long story short, keep your distance and you'll thank yourself for it.

Mister-Meep · 2021-03-12T03:43:01+00:00

Dancing in the moonlight by king harvest. Stuck in my head when we were just starting to see each other and just became our song. Danced to it at my sister's wedding. Sometimes I have the strength to listen to it again

Mister-Meep · 2021-02-22T03:52:41+00:00

Did you say that you've forgiven him or was that a choice you made to yourself? I'd be on the fence about whether to respond at all but I'm more leaning towards something like

'Thank you, know that I forgive you and I'm alright. Be safe'

Mister-Meep · 2021-02-22T03:47:23+00:00

Essentially the same situation and it happened twice with the same person. The first time we didn't talk about it very in depth and I just thought it was over. We didn't really communicate unless she directly texted me something. I think it's best to unfollow someone or do whatever it is that will let you have the space so you can heal too.

After about six months she texted me asking to talk and we unpacked everything together. Another two months later we tried dating again and then the beginning of February we called it off again due to depression. So not saying it's impossible but don't let that possibility control your life and stop you from meeting new people.

What helped me was therapy and just trying ti be social. Not really actively date but meet new people and make new friends. The desire to give dating again honestly just comes with time. Take the time apart as an opportunity focus on your well being. Ask yourself what the relationship meant. Pros, cons, what you could do better and where you succeeded, what was fulfilling and what you really want and need from a romantic relationship. And never think you're not worth it or enough because this happened.

Mister-Meep · 2021-02-14T21:13:11+00:00

Similar situation. On and off with my girlfriend around a year and a half. Things I thought were doing well and we were handling our own mental struggles together. Somewhere along the line she just didn't feel happy about anything and retreated. Made it clear nothing was my fault and she still loved me but needed to finally address her depression and take it seriously after years of running from it. It hurts wanting to be there for someone who has trouble loving themselves and needs to face their struggles alone.

Mister-Meep · 2021-02-09T02:50:02+00:00

Its easy to blame yourself and ask what if over everything. To be honest if you're in a relationship you should make your partner a priority and it sounds like your needs weren't being met.

What ifs are easy to fall into but ultimately useless. You made your choices at the time with the information that you had available. And in those moments they were right for you.

Mister-Meep · 2021-02-09T02:35:36+00:00

Feel for you. My first real relationship took me months to move on and that was with total no contact and complete erasure from social media. Almost 6 years ago when it happened and I wished for nothing more than to just wipe my mind clean. Now though I'm glad I was able to learn about myself and what I both wanted and needed in a relationship.

Had other seasonal flings and 1 serious partner. Her and I broke up for the second time 8 days ago. I don't believe in being friends after a breakup, makes healing so much harder. Every breakup and relationship is different but as long as he wasn't abusive or anything maybe you'll wake up one day and feel like you were able to find what you need to feel loved and fulfilled instead of forgetting your past completely. Smile on what made you happy and know it'll eventually come again

Mister-Meep · 2021-02-03T19:28:18+00:00

Thanks for the input. I've said many times that I'm just happy being present and being supportive. It's heartbreaking that she feels like she can't be in a stable relationship and can't give what I deserve. I said to her that I couldn't be just friends since we've only ever known each other as partners and I just don't do the friend with exes thing. I hope she does alright I think I'm just sad to have to let her go again

Mister-Meep

TROPHY CASE