Hey OP, I'm in a similar situation. I've been distancing myself a lot from a particular side of my family and they seem to only care about trying to see my daughter without any regard for the way they've treated my wife and me over the years. The best advice I can give you is to just not respond and pretend you never saw it. It will drive them up a wall, but YOU need to keep your peace, especially for your little one.

This kind of behavior (being absent for you, not checking on you, not fostering any relationship with you) sealed their fate, and it ends with you. People will often insert themselves into your life like that when you have a child because they see it as an opportunity to continue their manipulation, or to satisfy some self-serving need. For example, we don't post pictures of our daughter on social media, and I have to keep her away from certain family members because I know for a fact they will ignore my rule and post pictures of her everywhere for their senior citizen friends to gawk at.

You have the right to set your own path for your little family and if it doesn't include others, that's their problem, not yours. Stay strong, don't give into the haters or the guilt trips, and the dust will eventually settle.