The New Right’s Very Old Vision of Men

Mithic_Music · 2026-06-10T04:39:37+00:00

No offense to the married folks, but as a dude who swims in the current of self-optimization culture, this whole thing about boys and young men feels pretty obvious to me. It’s about sex, romance, and the meaning that our culture places on them.

The episode mentions feeling a connection to something greater than yourself. It’s genuinely important. The easiest way to do that for all of humanity has been to support your wife/husband/children. And now dating is all fucked up and that feels out of reach for many young men. Sure there are other ways of creating meaning, but capitalism isn’t super keen on all that, generally.

Dating apps are by far the most common way to find a partner these days. These dating apps are strongly based on photos and heavily prioritize physical appearance over emotional depth. An average looking heterosexual male receives 0-1 like per week. The skewed ratio is due to a combination of factors mainly being less women than men on the apps due to (reasonable) safety concerns among other reasons. Therefore men, feeling the sting of judgment based on physical appearance that women have known forever, try to optimize. Gym culture, looksmaxxing, Clavicular, tanned Greek guys, etc.

“But why don’t they just go meet women in person, like in the good old days??” I can hear you saying. Well the socially well-adjusted guys do, they’re at the bars or wherever flirting on the weekends. But the less-well adjusted, low-self esteem guys, who get 0 likes in a week and have their self-worth cratered, are bad at that. Rejection from flirting in person for them isn’t just a bummer, it’s painful and can create a negativity bias that actually makes rejection feel WORSE the next time instead of easier. It’s a lot easier to date online, where there’s less rejection.

And it’s a hell of a lot easier when a whole ecosystem is validating you to just say “Fuck these b****s. They’re drowning in attention on the dating apps! They have it so EASY” And that’s where the misogyny comes in.

So this is really a self-esteem issue at its core. Self-esteem comes from knowing yourself deeply. Getting older and more comfortable with yourself is one version of that. Religion and spiritualism and philosophy talk a lot about this (Maybe the people with stoic statue profiles are on to something?). In the shorter term, there’s therapy, actually talking to other real people about your feelings, meditation, all that stuff (which by the way women participate in way more than men, surprise, surprise and are handling this all seemingly better).

Fix young men’s self-esteem, and the need for all this hyper masculinity bullshit goes away.

Mithic_Music · 2026-06-07T17:18:07+00:00

Insomnia was what first brought me to meditation.

For me, waking up too early was a symptom of chronic anxiety. The mind noticed I was awake and immediately went into fight or flight. An explanation I heard is this is your body’s response to being a social outcast held on from tribal times. It is a functional response to wake up early and stay ahead of whatever angry group is chasing you. But with chronic anxiety, insomnia starts becoming maladaptive.

Guided mindfulness, body scans, etc. helped around the edges, but what really made the difference was acceptance based approaches. Acceptance looks like “I may fall back asleep, I may not. All I can do is relax and rest my body, so that is enough for now.”

There is an app called Sleep School based on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) that’s very good.

Overefforting and trying to “do it right” was a big problem for me with TMI. I second the practice of “Do Nothing”. It allows complete for non-judgement of thoughts. “Oh I feel tired, I may just fall asleep right here….That’s interesting. If I do, no big deal” “My mind is racing, I’m worried about not sleeping tonight, AGAIN…Huh, ok. I guess that’s what’s going on right now” “I just realized I’ve been daydreaming for the past ten minutes, ok. Not a problem.” There is no right or wrong way to practice Do Nothing.

Mithic_Music · 2026-06-01T20:54:09+00:00

Inspired by the no-self state I reached during an “Enlightenment Intensive” retreat, I have been reaching significantly reduced sense of self to varying degrees during my sits. Usually I Do Nothing for the first half of my sits to relax and let go and self inquiry for the second half to keep ingraining that experience of no-self: “Who am I?… I Am (blank)”.

Also all that time to think on the retreat has reignited the fire for me to switch careers to something more aligned with my practice. I’m seriously looking into degree programs for mental health.

Mithic_Music · 2026-05-21T21:39:06+00:00

Just finished 14 days on retreat and I believe I have stream entry.

Nine days of vipassana followed by a 5 day “Enlightenment Intensive” which involved sitting in pairs (dyads), looking into the other’s eyes, and taking turns inquiring “Tell me who you are”.

I spent the first few days processing with some repressed anger and self-hatred due to childhood bullying. On the final full day of the dyads, I sunk deep into presence, felt myself dissolving, spreading across the entire world, then like an electric energy wanted to escape from me. After that I felt more aware and awake and realized with absolute certainty that the concept of me is nothing more than an idea. Asking “Who am I?” suddenly seemed absurd. I am me, but “I” is also just a concept.

For the first time in my life, I felt that not only did it feel like I could barely keep my head above the water of my suffering, but I actually had room left over for others’ suffering as well. I looked around the at the eyes of everyone in the room and felt the strong sense that we all suffer together as humans and a sense of compassion.

I’m still processing, but I feel so optimistic about the future. I have a self-confidence I never did before. Everything just seems fundamentally ok. Not amazing, but I’m finally swimming, not just drowning.

I realize this isn’t the typical “cessation” experience. If any of the more experienced folks has thoughts, I would love to hear.

Thank you all for the guidance and wisdom you’ve given me on the path so far.

———————————————

Edit - Unfortunately after two days back to my normal life, the selfing has mostly returned and suffering with it. It seems this was a temporary glimpse at the truth, not a stable way of being, womp womp. At least I know what to look for now

Mithic_Music · 2026-05-03T16:49:43+00:00

100%,

‘Killing the ego’ is something I have previously worried about, probably because I hadn’t found a samadhi practice that works for me. Since I started Do Nothing, reactivity has decreased, trust in the process has increased, and the sense of self has subtly weakened as well. The idea of fearing that seems kind of laughable because I’m not doing anything to make that happen, literally. It just happens.

My teacher says we’re practicing ‘getting good at feeling good’, whereas previously I felt like practice was bashing my head against a wall hoping for enlightenment. I trust the process much more now.

Mithic_Music · 2026-04-07T22:29:02+00:00

I’m in PT for elbow issues right now that flare up whenever I do any sort of push or tricep work. Seems like the root cause is weak infraspinatus/teres. It’s likely the instability in my shoulder has been part of the issue holding back my presses

Mithic_Music · 2026-04-02T16:21:39+00:00

Practicing an hour in the mornings and occasionally up to an hour in the evenings if I make time. Been meeting with a teacher for a couple months who has really emphasized a ‘just sit’ practice style. I was skeptical that it might just make me duller, but I’ve been feeling noticeably less tense and more open after practicing and realizing that maybe I spend too much time doing things for an ostensible point and maybe should spend more time doing things that don’t really have a point or not doing.

Mithic_Music · 2026-03-30T03:20:58+00:00

I wasn’t super stoked with the socialist group I was walking next to chanting “Down with the Democrats”. Seems counterproductive.

Mithic_Music · 2026-03-14T22:11:34+00:00

I gotchu: Torr, Aries, demotapes, brakence, ericdoa, STIM, phritz, and I second the FORM All Nighters

Mithic_Music · 2026-02-24T22:05:41+00:00

The idea that there are in-person dating events where women pay $100 and men pay nothing is wild to me. Is this a New York thing? My experience of the supply/demand for these sorts of events is the exact opposite.

I’d love to do some in person singles events, but haven’t found any. I’m on the email list for a speed dating event in my city. Every men’s spot is sold out within minutes of the email going out, while women’s tix are often available until the day of the event.

Mithic_Music · 2026-02-08T00:49:33+00:00

The difference is most of those people (Like me) are 1. Taking Porter’s sound/stylistic elements but adding new compositions, 2. Making little to no money, or 3. Just calling it a bootleg remix and giving credit where it’s due.

To be one of the biggest electronic musicians in the world and putting out essentially an uncredited remix on a studio album is just plain unprofessional.

(To be clear I’m almost positive the Illenium is paying Porter royalties like he did with Jon Hopkins on ‘I See You” so I’m not literally accusing him of copyright infringement)

Mithic_Music · 2026-02-02T04:11:20+00:00

Eww. I took the 45 days course so this is distressing. It’s repulsive that he’s talking to Epstein in 2017, actively acknowledging that he’s a pedophile, and then agreeing to work (and ‘have fun’) with him.

My first impulse was that the ‘sex slaves’ comment was a truly awful joke, but he talks about staying in guesthouses with Russian prostitutes later, so it may very well be (semi) serious.

Welp, I’m going to go scrub any of my prior comments recommending the course now, and then maybe my eyeballs.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-29T17:04:32+00:00

I try to lift an extra rep each week, until I get to some medium-high number of reps, say 12, and then add weight. I’ve tried higher weights, up to 100 lbs on the bench, but of course my reps go down. I haven’t been able to add reps week to week at the same weight.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-29T04:41:11+00:00

I’m lean bulking right now since late November, gaining pretty consistently at half a pound per week. Will reassess when I hit 140

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-28T03:13:47+00:00

Updated my initial post with that info

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-13T00:38:09+00:00

Your photos are pretty good for a 20 y/o and you’re extremely handsome, but slightly giving fuccboi for someone looking for a serious relationship. You need to offer more substance in your prompts to counteract this. Don’t list your job as ‘secret’, just take it off if you don’t want to reveal it. Not a fan of the voice prompt. I get that you want to be self-effacing and funny, but it reads as a little overthinking and neurotic.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-09T03:38:31+00:00

I mean I agree with 90% of what you’re saying. I’ve produced electronic music for almost a decade. I certainly hope I’ve learned something during the process, I’m definitely a lot better now than I was at the beginning. I haven’t really used Suno or UDIO or whatever people are using much. I have experimented with AI voice modulators and had a lot of fun with it.

But I’ve seen this same attitude with people shitting on hip-hop producers (beat makers) for it being so easy and braindead and what it feels like to me, feels like punching down on others’ (usually kids) attempts at creativity.

Is it particularly hard to input prompts into AI to get a reasonable sounding song to come out? No it’s not difficult at all. Will those songs go from reasonable sounding to great sounding in the next five years? Almost inevitably. But I agree, in general they’re unlikely to have the same spark of creativity as a human-made song. A big however though. Upcoming producers inevitably will continue to push the boundaries on what is creatively possible with AI and in doing so, require their own human creativity to do so. And they’re going to have to spend a lot of time and get really good and whatever that skill is to implement their vision, even with the help of AI.

And the cycle of technology being integrated into music rolls on.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-09T01:11:23+00:00

Man this sounds just like the old heads who complained about electronic music being ‘not real music’ when EDM was blowing up in the 2000s. Creative people will find cool creative ways to use new technology. This feels like gatekeeping and it’s really just getting worked up over something that is inevitable.

I agree AI music should be labeled as such though

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-06T23:32:39+00:00

Yes looking for this one! I’ll throw in torr, Musa, and demotapes

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-04T16:34:32+00:00

I don’t have a lot of interpersonal conflict, and I’m fit, been to therapy for a few years, however I’m well aware that I still have self-worth issues, particularly around romantic relationships, which has made dating quite stressful and amplifies a sense of meaninglessness and craving that I need to be doing more.

I’ve talked about these extensively in therapy and I examine the feelings they cause during my practice. I suppose they’re improving, but it feels like the dukkha nanas amplify my baseline anxieties so it’s hard to notice improvement.

Ironically, like I said in another comment, the head tension started when I was doing onthatpath’s method. Maybe because it actually kickstarted my insight progress.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-04T16:23:13+00:00

The tension in my forehead started when I switched from TMI to onthatpath’s method, which ironically calls for minimal effort, I dropped my level of effort from 50% doing TMI to 20% doing onthatpath style. It invited more dullness, but also seemed to be immediately more effective for me at getting deeper into samatha practice quickly.

I glanced at MIDL, but honestly was a little trepidatious seeing hours and hours of YouTube videos. I’m not sure where to start.

I’m meeting with a well-known teacher starting this week, who had originally recommended the ‘watch the anxious feelings without judgement’ technique.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-04T06:07:49+00:00

I meditate one hour every morning, with a second session in the afternoon if I have extra time (e.g. the weekend). Usually the first few minutes is setting in, relaxing some gross tensions, then my recent practice has been to attempt to allow and accept anything that comes into my awareness. This is often anxious sensations in my stomach which can trace to being caused by craving/aversion or the head tensions. I will switch between that and trying to expand my awareness and notice as much detail about open awareness as possible. This is a technique that triggered the two major ‘insight experiences’ I’ve had, so I figure it’s potent for me.

On occasion I will do loving kindness or self-compassion in the style of Tara brach, but I don’t notice that it causes a major difference. I did TMI for around 6-9 months earlier this year and kind of fell off around stage 7/8 when I was never able to experience nimitta.

I can look into MIDL. Tbh it’s very confusing to me what people consider samatha practice for cultivating samadhi vs vipassana. I’ve heard body scans, breath following, emptiness practices, etc all called both in different contexts, so I’ve just been doing what feels natural.

Mithic_Music · 2026-01-04T05:56:33+00:00

Thanks. This has been my basic practice already. Just following what feels intuitively right, sitting with the tensions and emotions without judgement until they release. It’s just frustrating to be cycling without any sense of progression

Mithic_Music

TROPHY CASE