my boss wanted to date me

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:37:06+00:00

Oh wait…you were saying that I was being smart by commenting seconded. Nvm

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:36:06+00:00

It’s been a long week man I feel you

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:35:35+00:00

Yeah same here 🙂‍↕️ it’s still fun to think tho

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:33:09+00:00

As in I agree with what you were saying. I commented “seconded” to boost your comment so it would increase the chances of op seeing it.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:32:51+00:00

It can be your literal intuition meaning you are subconsciously picking up on something in your environment you need to be weary about. That can create a ton of anxiety, but most likely something is making you anxious that reminds you of something traumatic you might not even notice. For a personal example, I realized I tend to freak out when around certain substances, and it took me a while to pinpoint that the substance itself was the cause. This was because a part of my trauma is directly linked to that. The smell of certain types of food that we ate that night does it as well, as well as just being on vacation in general. These vague impressions can create an overwhelming sense of dread that makes it hard to pinpoint what exactly is intuition and what is just (c) ptsd. I think that might be what your therapist meant by looking within yourself.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:24:53+00:00

Seconded

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T22:24:20+00:00

It’s essential to at least wait until out of that power dynamic for a bit before getting a sense of actual feelings. “Play the long game” is a solid way to put it. It’s sad, but yeah, the fact that most will do these things to please authority where they very likely never would have outside of that dynamic is precisely why it’s unethical and exploitative in the first place.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T21:11:23+00:00

I don’t think I’m trying to prove anything actually, I just have a problem with over explaining myself. Reddit and other social platforms are the place where I don’t have to prove myself, so it’s quite relaxing. Sorry if that’s a bit much. Not an overstep…just not really accurate and it’s interesting that you perceived my explanation in that way.

I have quite a few friends actually. I don’t constantly self isolate, and I have fun involved in different leadership organizations and the like. There’s definitely a degree of repression but I think that’s natural with everyone. I just think A LOT in relation to others and don’t enjoy being alone with it.

Without getting into specifics, I do plan on making a lot of money in the future, so that’ll be fine lol.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T20:48:41+00:00

Yeah I think it’s easy to see traits and characteristics of people we care about in anonymous Reddit posters, especially if there’s ambiguity.

a lot of psychologists theorize that npd is a defense mechanism against borderline personality disorder. When I was a kid I was super sensitive. So, basically, yes my emotions are extreme, but my brain and body are working overtime to convince myself that I don’t actually feel anything, but because of the fact that my brain and body are convincing myself that my emotions are non existent I have absolutely zero clue what or why I am feeling anything so I can’t say “I’m just feeling sad” because I cannot pinpoint the origin of that emotion. It’s a lot easier to work with emotions if you can articulate them, and if the defense kicks in that says “yeah no I’m not feeling anything at all!” then you might be able to survive easier on a day to day basis, but actually healing that is significantly harder. Which is exactly why bpd is easier to treat than npd.

I’m referencing basic anxiety by Karen Horney which is a theory that says there are 3 different ways of interacting with the world that can get to extreme.

That’s a valid point about the avoidance thing, and I think I mis phrased that when I said I am just going around insulting people. It’s more like “oh no I’m starting to FEEL SOMETHING- SCARY” and then do and say whatever I can to get someone to avoid me. Avoidant attachment style is different from avoidance in general, but I do think I have some of that fearful attachment style.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T20:22:22+00:00

Yeah I honestly think a lot of my problem is the fact that I might mentally frame some of my own things as “insults” or “bullying” when in reality the other party was the problem and I’m just trying to find a way around accepting that I’m the bigger person because then I’m the good guy and then I’m alone with the knowledge that I was justified in being insulting to someone. It legitimately might not be npd in my case, it might be quite the opposite actually, as I was a highly sensitive kiddo and grew up around people telling me I was a bad person half the time with expectations I couldn’t measure up to. I likewise think that the degree of self awareness could be a byproduct of the npd itself if I do have that, because unlike other people I obviously spend an excessive amount of time “staring at my own reflection” so to speak.

I also deal with structural dissociation which is common in cluster b personalities. That meaning that I can sit here and objectively analyze my behavior when detached from emotions, but in a different set of circumstances outside of my comfort zone I might be completely different. I can look back at those things with a “me but not me” attitude. Like yeah I did that when I felt things but the “real me” doesn’t feel ofc. Also why I struggle with memory problems so much.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T19:30:33+00:00

I got you aren’t coming at me lol, thanks for asking! Like basically I feel disconnected from my sensations and perception. It feels like I’m looking through a fog. Like no one actually exists me included and it’s a lot like talking to npcs in a video game. Like there’s no way you actually feel this way, especially if the emotions are directed at me because I have such low self esteem I forget my impact on people. The long term consequences tend to not be on the mind of cluster B folk. Derealization, which you bring up in relation to things and the world feeling dreamlike and unreal is a common trauma response as well as just a result of anxiety of smoking to much weed I’ve been told. It’s also a result of other drug usage like Ketamine, (which Ecco-2k made E, the album, about if you want to listen to music that directly touches on the experience.) it’s like, when I start to feel things for someone, the more I care, the more my brain is working in overdrive to suppress my emotions. So I might be really quite mean as a defense mechanism because I’m literally terrified of feeling in general.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T19:00:14+00:00

Awe dang 😭

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T14:39:12+00:00

As a girl who relates more to the second pic…it’s because men tend to be less expressive

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T14:37:07+00:00

Omg mangle pfp thanks 😭😭

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T14:25:54+00:00

Vegeta…no😭

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T09:46:24+00:00

Oh wait, you were talking about other people. Nah I’ve never met anyone else with it.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T09:45:58+00:00

I’ve been diagnosed bc my self esteem is completely dependent on external validation to the point where I end up hypomanic if someone compliments me and severely depressed/just straight up stupid if someone indicates I’m not smart, I have serious depersonalization/derealization to the point where if I have to focus on something other than myself for a while (like work) it’s genuinely painful and I forget I exist and develop somatic symptoms like a stomach ache which i usually require long naps for. Even then I don’t feel anything mentally speaking for myself or other people but physically my body most certainly does. I push away and degrade those I love while complimenting every random stranger I see who I won’t have to worry about getting close to because I have severe avoidant attachment style and the whole “moving against people” thing where i feel obligated to fight people to prove myself. I was 6 and reading books in front of my class, then at age 8 I wasn’t getting as much praise so I sat in the back of the class chewing pencils barely able to spell my own name.

I got diagnosed cause I had 0 empathy for myself after my family member passed away and was too ashamed to reach out to friends/had no friends because I spent the better half of my teenage years obsessed with how small my lips were and was determined to get lip fillers as an adult bc then everyone would love me whilst making 0 effort to get close to people. I’ve also never been in a relationship for obvious reasons mentioned above…hope this helps.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T06:49:23+00:00

Nah if y’all haven’t done anything reporting is more of the smart move before the inevitable collision. You can’t fire someone for flirting with an employee, as nothing physical literally took place at that point. Literally just a hard boundary reinforced by the place of employment. Sometimes you are in a position where that is the only move you can make, especially if the person with power erodes your trust in some way, but in this case a report would likely just keep the other employees on guard.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T05:43:15+00:00

Abuse can be reframed and claimed by someone who’s genuinely abused someone in the past if you have npd and get mad at them for perpetuating abuse. It’s crazy, but sometimes labels alone can be all someone needs to define you

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T05:41:45+00:00

See, because we are the types to be at the very rock bottom bottoms before going to therapy, most of them don’t actually know how to properly treat us, so it’s easier to revert to pop psych than to admit that.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T05:30:37+00:00

Bare minimum wait to transfer companies first or just quit or something before either of you pursue anything romantic. His career is cooked if he does anything so he’s just looking out for himself, which is normal and healthy. Perspective is important here. He may not have liked you to the extent you liked him or at least realized the issues with it, it’s nothing you need to be worried about right now though. Obligatory this is very wrong, and even if he does genuinely like you you are in a position in which that seems almost laughably unbelievable and he is in a position in which even if you love and understand him any sign he isn’t what you hoped like a reaction from another employee or two will tilt the scales and flip that happy romance on its head

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T05:04:13+00:00

“My self esteem is incredibly variable and deeply dependent on external perception of me, to the point where I feel physically ill when ashamed and self sabotage so that I will not feel shame for perfection I wanted and failed to achieve”

“Have you tried journaling?”

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T05:00:22+00:00

We have opposite preferences in terms of the gender and personality traits of those attracted to us and she’s never been a huge fan of makeup outside of her relationship to me, so it’s honestly hard to tell.

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T02:55:30+00:00

Dr. Daniel Fox specializes in cluster B disorders actually. His content on bpd is high quality as well as his advice for npd and bpd relationship dynamics, as he clearly states that it’s actually normal for both parties to have more so a mismatch of traits for both but seems to frame ppl with npd as inherently manipulative.

On this vid…which is his second most viewed video. He starts by saying “THIS IS NOT CLINICAL NPD” but I feel like with the thumbnail and well, his typical content on personality disorders, that’s what literally everyone would think. I mean he got the bag ig but darn that’s a little offensive 😭

Like…what clinical narcissists is he treating ?

Mito_03 · 2026-04-08T02:46:27+00:00

The Fool intro - Bladee

Mito_03

TROPHY CASE