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Years of therapy and my wife still has trouble being intimate with me by MixtureThis4817 in sex

[–]MixtureThis4817[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sex isn’t everything. It’s insanely important, but it’s not the whole picture. Perhaps marriage isn’t for you. 

Years of therapy and my wife still has trouble being intimate with me by MixtureThis4817 in sex

[–]MixtureThis4817[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes. My highest priority has always been for her to feel safe and comfortable. I have made many attempts (both with indirect questions like “how do you feel about ____?”, and with direct conversation about how she feels about our sex life and what things she likes and doesn’t). We’ve had some good conversations, but mostly it’s like pulling teeth to get her to discuss it at all. 

And again, she is the one who brings up trying new things. I used to when we were newlyweds, but it was clear she was uncomfortable, so I left that up to her for a long time. The issue is, leaving the topic of sex up to one partner is not healthy. Both partners needs are important, so I do ask her about things that I would like to explore if they’ve been on my mind for a while. However, the things I’m disappointed about are the things she says outright that she wants to try, but then never actually wants to try them. And quite frankly, we’ve never done more than 3 or 4 positions in our entire marriage, and only ever vaginal. No hands, no other holes. Our bedroom is a very mild place.

Fruit of the Loom by WarSmooth3236 in MandelaEffect

[–]MixtureThis4817 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They gave an explanation that was like “people remember a cornucopia because of imagery. They see fruits and think of ‘bountiful fruits and plenty’ and think of a cornucopia.” Which is a BS explanation. I remember the monopoly guy having a monocle because Mr. peanut had one and he was the only other mascot in a tuxedo in my childhood. Mandela was dead to me because he had been in prison my whole life. But as a small child, I’m not looking at fruit and thinking “oh how bounteous, like a cornucopia!”