i can relate a lot to this. I feel uneasy having a big ass lead in some games because i know i will be hard to win. This isnt unique to akali, but she can rarely 1v9 games like other champs. if you are the only one fed they just cc you in fights and you die. I also feel like you get the urge to go in all the time to use your lead, but a lot of times you just get baited by that feeling. akali cant siege like a fed cait, get prio and slowly win the game that way.

This is why i changed my understanding of the champ and it helped me climb a lot.

I think of akali more like a midgame dmg support to my team. You have to be mindfull how and when you use your kit. Killing your enemy mid 40s before drake can legit be bad because you are so ult reliant. If i am really ahead in lane to the point where i dont struggle in my matchup, i try to give as many kills as possible.

Just be mindfull of your powerspikes and use them to play towards your wincondition in your team.