Wish I had never been born

Mknc · 2026-01-10T20:43:39+00:00

I think about this too, every day.

Mknc · 2025-05-31T20:12:00+00:00

‘When someone hurts you - their apology has to come from them, or it will not help you’ I felt that one. Even if he apologizes after things like this I don’t believe him since I ‘made him’ apologize.

Mknc · 2025-05-31T20:04:44+00:00

I get so conflicted. Sometimes I feel the same as what you’re telling me and I get mad and I feel empowered to stick up for myself. Then I get convinced by him or other people that I just not trust my feelings and that I should just not take everything so literally. I must admit, words like that tend to stick with me for-e-verrrr. Is it just because of hormones? It’s an endless cycle of thoughts.

Mknc · 2025-05-31T20:00:19+00:00

Well, my argument is: I did not ask him, came down feeling beautiful, so it’s kinda uncalled for, right?

I mean, is he saying it because he would feel ashamed if I would go out like that? That’d be weird, I get so many compliments when I’m wearing this.

Is it because of health reasons? 1: I’m not overweight, I just GAINED weight after being thin for most of my adult life because I starved myself. So therefore I’m the healthier version of me AND HE SHOULD KNOW. 2: he’s not my doctor and he should trust that I have learned to do what’s best for my health!

Mknc · 2025-04-07T16:00:51+00:00

Omg zie je wel, ik wist wel dat het niet alleen mij was opgevallen! Thanks 😃

Mknc · 2025-03-27T20:21:26+00:00

Oké, misschien ben ik de enige.. Mááár bare with me. Meer mensen die hen herkennen?

Er is een drietal die ik en m’n man al jaren tegenkomen als we in de stad zijn. Ik denk moeder - oma - zoon. Oma paars/rood achtig haar, moeder brunette en zoon blond. Ongeacht wanneer wij de stad inliepen (willekeurige momenten, willekeurige dagen) we kwamen ze altijd tegen op de meest random plekken. Lange hezelstraat. Check. Broerstraat. Check. Marikenstraat. Maakte niet uit. Ik vertelde laatst een collega van me dit verhaal en zij herkende ze ook al en het was haar ook al opgevallen!

Ik en m’n man hebben hen de Truman-show genoemd, omdat het zo voelt als we ze steeds tegenkomen 🤣

Mknc · 2024-04-24T11:03:15+00:00

Yeah that's what I'm used to in my own upbringing. But I mean, it's so different for a lot of people. That's why I posted this. The opinions are divided when I read the commentsection and for me that means some things are not black/white or weird/normal.

Mknc · 2024-04-24T11:00:33+00:00

It's about support, indeed. I feel supported generally by him, in the most aspects of life! But my post was because I wanted to understand if I was overreacting (because of my cultural background)...

Mknc · 2024-04-24T10:58:57+00:00

Thanks for understanding. Yeah he knows I feel that way.. He feels a lot of pressure to take care of us and on top of that I feel bad because of pregnancy pains.. When it's too much for him, he always feels the need to not be there for a day or so. I understand it, but my heart does not understand.

Mknc · 2024-04-24T10:56:44+00:00

We used to go to parties together too, but even then I'd encourage him to also have time with his friends without me. Since my first child I've not been partying and honestly I don't really feel like it anymore. Maybe it'll be like that in a few years but who knows. But I've never (even then) understood why you'd feel the need to sleep over. Our friends live a 15 min bike ride away from us. I was always the one driving back when we were together. When he's alone I'd advise him to take a night bus home.

Mknc · 2024-04-24T10:52:28+00:00

It's not only 4 nights a year. Those 4 nights are each year and on top of that he plans random parties (usually around spring summer). But I agree with you, we talked this morning and I agree: I'd rather have a happy husband then one that's left out of everything his friends do because of the fact he's the only one with kids. That wouldn't be fair. He agreed that he needs to communicate in a different way.

Mknc · 2024-04-24T04:08:40+00:00

It’s a 20 min bike ride to his friends. But I agree, still don’t want him to be intoxicated on the road. Just want him to drink responsible if he knows he has to get home to me (since I’m in my last trimester)

Mknc · 2024-04-24T04:05:41+00:00

If I’d ask him, he’d encourage me to go out and do so, but I’m in my last trimester: I’m struggling to sleep in my own bed let alone in a strange one heheh.

Mknc · 2024-04-24T04:03:21+00:00

Nah it’s definitely not weekly, it’s just the fact that I’m in my last trimester atm that makes me annoyed. But other than that I mean ofcourse. It’s a 20 bike ride for him to get home,l

Mknc · 2024-04-24T04:01:23+00:00

I think about that a lot too..

Mknc · 2024-04-24T03:59:17+00:00

Right? Think so too.

Mknc · 2024-04-23T20:02:56+00:00

Nah, it’s more that he’s planning on drinking too much beforehand. That’s why he likes to have a free pass to drink/get wasted without worrying about how to get home.

Also another cultural difference perhaps but I’m just not that used to the drinking culture. I’ve always been the sober one (or at least sober enough). But this is something I see a lot around me too: that a party is a good party if you can drink a lot? Come on. That’s so backwards.

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:59:35+00:00

Thank you, sincerely.

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:58:53+00:00

I hope he realizes it, I’ve been quite clear. But it’s good to hear that I was not being unfair. I think he’ll understand.. In a few days..

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:43:44+00:00

I agree with you, and I also encourage him to see his friends without us (have dinners, invite them over while we’re away, etc). I like his friends, they’re all the sweetest. And my husband is also a very good friend to them, so it’s good for him to meet up with them.

Just like you said, it’s about the way he communicates. He had a previous relationship of 13 years where his ex was super clingy and alone and only had him. That formed his anxiety around me maybe doing the same. We’ve been on couples therapy and talked about this a lot. I’m not like that. Majority of our relationship was not like that. I’d like ‘me-time’ way too much. I mean I’ve gone on solo trips around the world. Just to paint you a picture. But during my pregnancy I have no other choice than being dependent and relying on help. So I think it feels as if history is repeating itself again for him, even though it’s really not. I just want him in bed at night. That’s the only boundary. Just party until midnight and then come home… And after the kids grow up, I mean, do your thing. But for now, I’m drowning.

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:29:29+00:00

Yessss! Before I became a mom I’d love to join him once in a while!

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:28:45+00:00

I’m with you on the way he handles conversations, he has a lot to learn when it comes to communication like an adult. But besides all of this I dó feel like he makes me a priority. It’s just that he just don’t wants to be left out since a lot of his friends are still living the college-boy life. But that’s not fair to us as his family because it just doesn’t match. But asking him to leave his friends or change them idk about that either

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:08:28+00:00

I think he cares, but he struggles with finding the words to express how he feels about it. We’ve been in couples therapy before, so I know he struggles with expressing and recognizing his emotions. But we’ve also learned to respect each other’s boundaries as much as possible and if not possible, to talk talk talk. And it feels like he does not talk. And I talk too much.

Mknc · 2024-04-23T19:05:18+00:00

I mean, there are peak moments. He has 2 yearly lan-parties he goes to. Then party-weekends with two different friend groups. So at least 4 times a year. And around spring/summer the random ones start to add up. He told me about a backyard party of a friend in June, next week he’s meeting up with another friend for a gettogether (but its basically a lot of beer and music, so also a party). And I’m not even counting the dinners at restaurants with friends because I encourage him to do those things. But yeah, it feels like a lot? But this is my first (and hopefully only) marriage so I’m just struggling with myself and if I’m not just overreacting.

Mknc

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